Going #2 in Underwear

C.,

Just want to let you know I went through the exact same thing with my daughter who is now 2 1/2. It was so frustrating (and gross!) to have to clean up those messes. I also wrote in on this website but the overwhelming message I got was that I was just going to have to wait it out - which I did.
SHE was the one that told ME last Thanksgiving that she didn't want to wear diapers anymore - I thought to myself "why would I fight this?" She got pee down pretty quickly with a few accidents here and there but it took her until about February or so to poop in the toilet consistently. I remember that feeling of frustration though - you can't put her back in diapers - she has come this far!
All I'm saying is you're not alone, hang in there...she'll get it down, just be patient. :)

There are many children who are simply not neurologically ready to complete potty training until they are three, or sometimes older. Often, learning to poop in the potty comes after pee, as a separate step. Toddlers often simply don't recognize the early signals until it's too late.

Pooping is a much bigger deal, more complicated and effortful, and some children become quite anxious about it if urged or pressured too much. Kids can and do react to pressure by holding the poop, which then can escalate to constipation, which in turn can become a medical condition called encopresis (google this – it's definitely a problem you want to avoid).

Peditricians strongly recommend giving the child lots of space to lead this developmental stage, which, if no big issue is made of it, can be as natural and satisfying as learning to walk. Do your best to keep it light, keep it fun – read books about pooping, watch videos, pretend that her dolls and stuffed animals are pooping in the potty and feeling proud of themselves.

It's okay to offer rewards at the beginning if that boosts her enthusiasm, but bribes and prizes can become their own problem if not used with discretion. Even without goodies, she'll get there. And she'll be proud of herself when she's ready.

C., there have been many posts regarding this, boys and girls, and various ages. Poop is the last thing they learn to do and yes they hold it. Take a look through the archives for the last 2 weeks.

Its about control, sometimes children are shuffled and told what to do in their young lives that this is one of the few things they think they can control. We had difficulties when we thought our daughter was ready; it only turned into waiting games. We consulted her pediatrician who told us to let her decide when she was ready (I was concerned that holding it in, which she was more than capable of doing for very long time would lead to an infection) Five months later for no reason at all, she said "I want to wear big girl underwear" my husband clarified that only if you use potty and not go back to diapers; and she did ~ no struggles no accidents. She was amazing and we were stunned. Good luck to you.

Take a week to stay home , I mean no going out. I did this with both of my boys at age 15 months. Have your child remove all clothing and basically follow her very closely all day. When you notice the signs of a bowel movement coming on, wisk her in a fun and happy way to the training potty. I always had the potty in whatever room you were hanging out in that way when the time came it was easy. Also, verbalize all positive reactions to the whole event. Remvoing clothing helps your child connect with the event as coming directly from her body. You must be VERY positive in everyway. You must exude enthusiasm! Your baby will be trained in one week if you put attention to it. No distractions !! just you and the baby...you will have a happy well adjusted person for life..

Hi C., like one mom said there has been post after post on potty training. I think parents of this generation are making it harder than what it really is. We had 3 children 2 sons and one daughter, potty training was potty training and they didn't do pee step one poop step 2. This mom was right when she said some kids hold it, mine did not, we used reward and Discipline, you can't have one with out the other at set your child up for success. We used M&M'S, they were placed in a nice see through jar and I put a big red ribbon on it, put it on top of the book case in clear view. I started our first son at 20 months, by 21 months done completely trained, once my kids were in training pants NOT DIAPERS OR PULL UPS regular training pants, they did not want to poop on themselves they were happy to the potty, are other two potty trained with no issues. Also i have potty trained many, many children in my daycare over the past 13 years, what I'm reading on these responses, it sounds like the children are in control as to when they use the potty, oh she do it when she's ready, she will do it in her own time, are you kidding me, most pre schools won't even take them till their potty trained, reading the responses I realize why there are so many 2 1/2 and 3 year old that are not potty trained. You need to make sure she understands what you expect from her, and there has to be rewards, and there has to be discipline. J.

Breathe. As much as I agree that kids have WAY too much control and the parents are more interested in being liked, rather than a parent, like the last post touched on, I don't think that this is where the discipline comes in - at least at this age.

Here's my experiences with 3 VERY different kids:

#1 - boy - almost totally potty trained at 18 months, then we left him with my parents for 2 weeks while we went to Spain. We returned and he refused to sit on the toilet for us. We understood it was him "punishing" us for leaving, even subconsciously. Fine, we got it. I tried discipline. I wouldn't put new batteries in toys until he sat ont he toliet - and THAT wasn't even demanding evacuation of his bowels or bladder! I even busted out the Oreo's and he told me to put them back into the pantry. Finally,we told him that on his 3rd birthday, there were no more diapers. When he woke up, we explained it again and took him out of them. He was mentally and physically ready - so his accidents that week made us leave the park since we can't play in wet clothes, etc. Literally by 7 days after he turned 3, he was 100% potty trained - no nighttime accidents - nothing.

#2 - boy - all of his motor developments are/were much slower than the first. We figured this was going to be a nightmere. Here's now almost 4 and we still have difficulty understanding some of his speech. But, he suddenly was potty trained at 2 years 4 months. Can't even really remember how it happened, but it did and it was MUCH easier than #1. He was ready. The onl;y time he wets his bed - every about 8-13 months is when his L2 is out of align,ent, so we get that adjusted and he's good to go -otherwise, he doesn't wake up to pee in the middle of the night.

#3 - girl - just turned 2 a few weeks ago. She'll pee on the toilet and we try to catch her for pooping as well....but not a ton of luck yet. It's frustrating, because she gets it. She'll tell us "I pooped," when she just pees and asks us to change her diaper. Her vocalulary is that of a 4 year old and she understands everything. We leave her undiapered a lot of the day, if we are home and take her to the toilet frequently....but once we put that diaper on, she poops in it. Ugggg. Really??? Her personality is VERY strong. She makes me look like a limp noodle and I am SO not. We are trying to find out what her currency is....and go with whatever motivates her. She does wake up many mornings with a dry diaper, so I KNOW she's physically ready for it.

Mine used to do that. she stopped on her own when I told her she would get candy if she pooped in the potty. she would sometimes take it out of the panties and put it in the potty, but eventually she got the connection. sometimes she still makes mistakes, but not often.

She obviously isn't ready. 2 1/2 is still very young. Personally I don't believe in using reward systems at all, especially for stuff like this.