Girls Won't Go Upstairs by Themselves, Day or Night, but They Sleep There.

Updated on April 14, 2011
K.K. asks from Alameda, CA
17 answers

I have two daughters 5 1/2 and almost 9 years old. We have lived in our house for 8 years. In the past year they have both become afraid of going upstairs by themselves. It doesn't matter if it is day or night. It doesn't matter if we leave every light on upstairs or not. They both sleep all night in their own rooms without any problem or complaint, but they can't go upstairs alone or be left upstairs alone, except when they are in their beds.

It seems that my older daughter is more afraid than my younger daughter, but she wants to be like her older sister so she won't go upstairs, or stay upstairs by herself either.

I have tried leaving all of the lights on in the stairwell and upstairs, for her but it doesn't seem to make a difference. I have tried to talk with her to help her determine what it is that is scaring her and she has said that sometimes it feels like someone is watching her, once she said that she felt something and it "raised the hairs on her neck" and other times she says that the shadows look like something. We have walked through what might happen, worst case scenario and she says that her fear is probably bigger than what is really upstairs, but she is still afraid. She has never mentioned anything specific scaring her. Unfortunately our floors are 'creaky' but I've even tried to make a fun game out of it and have had them jumping from 'creak' to 'creak' to make a song. No change tho.

I am spending hours each week trying to get over this or to get them to go upstairs.

We are Christian but also believe that there could be spirits left on earth. Any suggestions of what we might do? We can't afford to move and we love everything else about our house.

Thank you for the time that you took to send a reply.

Mama K.

1 mom found this helpful

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Mama K.,

At different times my two youngest children have been afraid to be upstairs or in their rooms by themselves. Here's how I solved it: I have a few stuffed animals that the kids know are mine. I give them one of my stuffed animals to be with them. I make a big deal of it, letting them know that the stuffed animal is important to me, and by giving it to them I'm giving them a piece of myself. Somehow this comforts them and makes them feel as though they aren't alone.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

My son was seeing ghosts. The first thing I did was explain to him that the spirits would not hurt him, and to simply tell them that they are scaring him and to please go away. Then I got a sage smudge stick and had him help me smudge the house to balance out any negative energy that may have been present in the house. Since than we have had no more problems. After the house is clear, you can also smudge with sweet grass to bless the house and or angle sage for protection. If you would like more info on how to do this, just send me a message.

Blessed Be

1 mom found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

You obviously have very bright and creative children. They are scaring themselves.

Get them each a flashlight and tell them to shine the light on the dark places. They will being to realized and recognize these shadows.

I do not know if you are Catholic, but you could get a squirt bottle and ask a priest to bless some water, this can be placed in the spray bottle to spray away the scary spirits or things away..

Also you could teach your children about "Genuflection" they can lightly kneel to one knee and say a small prayer to be safe.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.F.

answers from Burlington on

Pray over her and your house.

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L.W.

answers from Athens on

I read the other answers and loved Amanda's and several others. I might add that spending some time up there yourself with the girls while they are playing might also help. If you have any anxiety about the space, the girls will pick up on your feelings. Try doing some redecorating, making it warm and friendly. If you feel really great walking into the area that you spent time making "yours", adding your own personal touches here and there, I think it may help. Don't spend too much time talking to the girls about spirits at this young age... They shouldn't feel it's a taboo subject, but your 9 year old probably has friends whose parents allow them to watch scary tv or movies. By focusing on it too much you will only be putting your stamp of approval on whatever the friends might be telling her. Spend your time focusing on creating a positive, warm and friendly environment and reassuring them that their Heavenly Father won't allow any harm to come to his precious daughters, and then, regardless of what you read in the news, have the faith to BELIEVE it! They will sense your feelings. If YOU believe that they are in no danger, they will believe it too.

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S.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Acknowledge them and ask them to leave your family alone and tell them they are no longer of this world ,to leave. Then pray.

V.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

If you think that it might be a spirit that she is sensing, try having some one over to communicate with the spirit. If that person feels that the spirit is a "good spirit" (Sorry, I couldn't think of another way to put it) then explain to your daughter that there's nothing to be afraid of and that it's just a lonely sole. If that person feel that the spirit is a "bad spirit" (Again, I'm sorry) then I don't know what to suggest.

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S.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Try a couple of rugs to cut down on the creaky. Also try some taclum powder in the cracks, that can also help with the noise. Do you still have a baby moniter? You can use that to let the girls know that you can hear them and know that they are ok. You might try a positive prayer of blessing for their rooms but try not to let their imaginations run away with them.

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M.B.

answers from San Francisco on

OMgosh you guys totally scared me and i am an adult. I was anxious to read some of the responses because my son is often afraid to go upstairs by himself but I am not going to mention any spirits or ghosts etc. or he would never go upstairs by himself ever. I don't know what my belief is about that but I would hope to hear some other answers on how to make her kids a little braver without asking God to remove the "Spirits, or other visitors" in the room.

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J.L.

answers from Sacramento on

Let me state that I live in a brand new home....in a field that no other homes have been built on..and yeah....we have what we call visitors at times..you may call them spirits,etc....

My oldest has picked up on them and when she does she tends not to want to go upstairs by herself

If this is the case with your kids...the power of prayer and asking for God's help is awesome....Whenever we have a visitor..I ask God to please have whomever, whatever to take the visitor to the place that they need to be and ask for protection of my family.

My oldest is 6....and talking about spirits and visitors might not be good at this point in time..but telling her to ask for God's help and protection and to let her know that God loves her will hopefully calm her fears.

Sometimes having spirits can be a joy, especially when loved ones have passed on and give you that special good by..and others...well you don't know who or what they are and it's best to put it in God's hands.

Hope that helps. Feel free to contact me if you'd like.

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R.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Where do you live? Maybe there are spirits up there! But what if up there were something really cool up there, like music?

Id ignore the situation and use the room for something engaging. Put some neat energy in the space like sewing, candles, soft blankets you reading grisham stories. If youre lucky you could enjoy the spare space! This too will pass

This too w

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I too think that prayers will help. In our case, I Reiki to clear the space and the "problem" went away. If you know someone who does Reiki, you can ask him/her to use Reiki, a neutral energy, to clear the space. But I do believe prayers are powerful and work like Reiki.

Updated

I too think that prayers will help. In our case, I Reiki to clear the space and the "problem" went away. If you know someone who does Reiki, you can ask him/her to use Reiki, a neutral energy, to clear the space. But I do believe prayers are powerful and work like Reiki.

H.H.

answers from Killeen on

I agree with Amy, if you are Christians then pray with her. My son was afraid to sleep at night becasue he was having a lot of nightmare, but we pray with him every night before bed and he doesn't have nightmares anymore.

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L.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Do some kind of banishing "ritual." This might help to give them back the power over their environment. Native Americans believed in cleansing areas by burning dried white sage and using the smoke. I know it has helped me if I am feeling some 'creepiness' in an area. This is something that you can do with them in each room upstairs and on the stair case and say things like "bad energy be gone," or whatever else they want to say. Sometimes just putting the energy into this will help the girls feel like they have ownership over the situation and will help to calm them. And if they start to get anxious again, you can remind them just to tell the bad energy, spirits, whatever they believe it is, to go away. I have some dried white sage if you need some. Hope this is helpful!

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K.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

I just wanted to tell yo that I am a 16 year old girl.. I sleep on the 3rd floor of my house, and I am terrified of going up my stairs at night, especially when the lights are off. My problem is that i feel like something is following me up the stairs , like trying to bring me back down, so I make sure my lights are on, and sometimes even having them on doesn't work. If you feel like your girls are overreacting , don't because it truly is something that is scary.. Give the girls an extra light or something, I know it kind of helps to have my phone when sometimes my lights don't want to go on.

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C.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Sounds like spirits to me. Maybe you need to talk to your pastor about it... or find out who you could have come check out your house. I encounter spirits occasionally but always the positive ones. It doesn't matter how much you love your house... if it's not a positive environment for your kids, then you should be putting them first.

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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Both my children preferred to be on the main floor of the house with the grown-ups, rather than upstairs or in the basement, especially during certain phases of development. At times when kids are growing a lot, they can also be more anxious. My son, who at times refused to go upstairs alone or needed an escort to go up, is now 16 and will barely leave that upstairs bedroom!

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