Girlfriends

My daughter is 9 (going on 10 very soon). Homework does not consume more than 30 minutes a night. Most days I ask her to get some reading in but that is in lieu of watching tv.

She too is involved in sports, Girl Scouts, CCD, etc. I see that as her 'socializing' time. In the summer time she will do our community's recreation program where she will get to see and play with her friends 3 hours every morning 5 days a week. In addition she does have a 6 (almost 7) year old sister who she gets along with very well. So they will often play together. Therefore I do not schedule playdates too often but am willing to if I feel or see that it is necessary.

As for wanting to 'hang' with the adults...I completely get it. My daughter is much more mature than her peers so she often does gravitate more towards 'adult' conversations. For example over the summer I noticed that a lot of times at rec she would rather to talk to the college aged counselors than to run around with her friends. I was taken back by that until a friend (and teacher) told me that that is normal based on her maturity level.

You know your daughter and her needs best so do what you feel is necessary.

when you say reading, what do you mean? 30 min before bedtime, or hours after hw is done?
as it looks right now, yes you can have someone over, or have her go somewhere at a friend's house on tuesdays. or any day when there is no sports. i agree weekends are family time, and that's what i do, but kids need interactions and playing sports will not have them socializing with kids when they're practicing or having a game.
also, church. do you mean mass, or cdc (religious class?). if mass, do you go to mass on sundays?

I think what you've got going on sounds good. Looks like she is involved in social activities like sports and church and has her best friend around a couple times per month. Sounds fine to me.

We avoid a lot of activities during the week as well. My daughter plays with a friend after school on Mondays and I find it's hard to get her to do her homework when we get so b/c she doesn't want to leave her friends house and then she's all wound up.

I'd just let your daughter know that you are open to having her friends over if she wants to - at 9 you shouldn't schedule them for her. But make sure she knows if she wants to get to know someone better, she is welcome to invite them over to your home, after discussing it with you.

Yes, over thinking. Playdates every once in a while on weekends and non school days great! Sounds like she already has a busy schedule on the weekdays, why throw anything else in with what she already has. Unless she is having a problem with wanting more playdates and not being able to keep herself occupied, i wouldnt stress too much about it.

Personally, I think she's getting enough socialization from her sports throughout the week. I am pretty strict on playdates through the week, especially school days, as it always has backfired by kids staying over too long, my kids not wanting to come home, etc... Homework and studying always comes first before anything else in the afternoons - much like your schedule.

Is she involved with the youth at church? Are there other children her age going horseback riding? If not, can she invite some of her closer friends to go with her? That would help facilitate some closer friendships I think. Maybe try to do a playdate for 2-3 hours every Saturday or Sunday afternoon so she does have some one on one time with just another girl, to do girl things like play dress up, house, whatever! Make it "unstructured" so they can be creative and not have an agenda to stick to as with sports/church/etc...

I think she sounds pretty well rounded and not over-scheduled like so many children today that barely have time to eat from being shuffled to too many different activities.

Yes because she interacts with other children through ALL her activities outside the home.