Girl Code - Do You Break That or Not?

I would give her the council you said, "sit her down and ask her to really think about what she is doing and to wait to make any decisions until her husband is home and she is thinking rationally." Then, I would tell her I did not want to hear or have any part of her affair, and that you can't promise that her husband isn't not going to find out about it..

Also, snuggling is physical... so she's past the emotional affair stage.

Is her husband still unfaithful, or have they worked through that? If he is mistreating her, they need to do all they can to work it out and fight for their marriage. If they can't, then they need to divorce. THEN it's time to go play.

Especially with her husband's cousin, that is just so trashy.

She's not doing the right thing and this will blow up in her face. You have to counsel her against it. I would not "gossip" about it. I would not tell anyone that you don't need to tell.
Try to get her to think beyond this if you can. The repercussions will be so bad she will never be happy.
After hubby gets home and he doesnt want to be a "family" man, that will be her best ammo to get out of the marriage, but not to fall into the arms of another man right away. She has a lot of baggage to pack up before she can move on and start over.
This "affair" is with her husbands cousin makes it even worse, families have a hard time recovering from this sort of thing. Look what it's doing to your group of girlfriends already. Adultery is never the right way to "fix" anything.

Being a good friend means telling them when they are doing something wrong even when they don't want to hear that. As a friend, I would tell her, you will not lie for her to anyone. And not to put you in the middle of something. Tell her, she's your friend, very good friend, however, what she's doing to her husband is wrong. No matter what he did to her, she made a vow to him, and most likely "for better or worse". Even though he cheated does not giver her the right to cheat. I would also just tell her that you don't want to know anything more. Even if she found another guy, you think what she is doing is morally wrong and you don't support it. It may hurt her, but it will let her know where you stand. She won't be telling you things.
I don't feel it's your place to tell anyone. I feel lying is wrong, plain and simple. If your friend knows you aren't going to lie, she shouldn't put you in that position. If her husband asked you anything, I would tell him to go talk to his wife. Everyone is grown, you handle your own business. If your boyfriend ask you, I'd say that's their business and you are not part of it. Don't let your friend guilty you, she's an adult, and responsible for her actions. An adult doesn't make you right for doing what you want to do, but it should make you accountable for your actions. She knows the difference between right and wrong and is doing wrong for the short term happiness and long term regret. I would tell her that too. Let her know, her actions today not only affects her, but her husband, daughter, etc.

You are a good friend, don't let her guilt you!

I think it is perfectly acceptable for you to create some boundaries with your friend. I was in a very similar situation with one of my friends. I had a very frank discussion with him that I didn't want to lose him as a friend, but I could not be the shoulder for him to cry on about his other woman. I made it very clear that I was not ready to talk about or know about anything with that other woman. It was really hard. We didn't talk much for about a year other than the casual "How are the kids"...you know, we totally avoided the pink elephant in the room. But in the end, I kept my integrity (I was and am still very good friends with his wife - now ex-wife) but was able to keep my friendship with him.

Good luck, you are in a tough predicament. I hope she can understand where you are coming from.

I think the long and short of your post is you need to draw your personal line. If she wants to fix her marriage, she should do it. If she doesn't, then she should divorce. Either of them staying with the situation as it is isn't good for anybody. But in the meantime, it's unfair of her to drag you along, too.

I'd lay it out for her. A good friend doesn't necessarily mean someone who lets you be stupid without saying anything, or allows you to bring their drama to your home.

And as for being angry at the woman who introduced them - she didn't help, but your friend makes her OWN decisions.

Stay out of it. Tell her you don't want to know about her trysts and if she asks why no tell her it's because you think what she's doing is wrong and you'd rather just stay out of it. As far as telling your boyfriend...ugh...I don't know, I probably wouldn't. If he asks I think you should tell him the truth as to what you know, but I really wouldn't get into it. This is her marriage and she has to deal with it. You may not go about things the way she is/would, but it's not your deal, so steer clear!

first off- I can all but guarantee you that your friends husband is not faithful to her "over there" so why should she worry about being faithul here. They are BOTH in the wrong so just take that out of the equation. Sounds like their marriage is over and hopefully once he gets back they will put it to rest. I mean really- I would SO not be sticking up for a man that comes home for 2 weeks and spends it in bars!!!!!!! HE sounds like a jerk to be honest with you. ANd I do feel that you are breaking the "girl" code by sticking up for him. And face it -you are ONLY sticking up for him because you are with his friend. So just keep out of it and don't judge your 'friend'. It is not up to you OR your boyfriend to worry about what the two of them are doing.

Interesting...in fact, like straight out of the movies! Well, we know this happens all the time and you can't block the hormones that are raging between them.

That is why she is worried she would not have the support of her friends! She wants your commitment you will always be there.

I would tell her to sort this out and you are going to back off the friendship for a bit, but you will always be friends, you just can't be involved due to the relationship. She has to understand or else she is just being selfish, more so.

What Grandma T said is 100% right on.

Tell her what you think of this (with kindness in your heart, not as a judgment). Then tell her that you don't want to hear about her relationship with this guy she's flirting with, if she is not going to stop it, because you don't agree with her actions (but do still love her as a good friend).

Ok, since this is really a question of if you should tell your man or not I will answer that. !st, how long has this relationship been with this guy? Is it serious... like we will be getting married...? If the answer is yes this is headed to marriage... well I would tell. I M. not say how much you totally know, but i would mention that she is thinking about the "d" word and leaving him. Mattering on how level headed this guy you are dating is, I would tell all, but also mention that you were told in strick confidence so he can advise or whatever but please keep you out of it.