Gifted Child Skipped 1St but Thinking It Was a Bad Idea Now.

You will likely get this teacher again... Maybe he would repeat 2nd grade. Have you looked into private schools

I you are meeting with the principal, ask what they think will be best. I would not go too far inot discusing what is wrong with the teacher, just stress that her teaching style is just not working out for your son, and that you think something needs to change, and be open to the suggestions. If they offer you something that you are counting on, send a confirmation eamil after your meeting, summerize what they promised, and ask them to correct you in writing if you have it wrong. Thank them, and make them want to work with you.

One note for you. Good gifted programs do not start until 4th or 5th grade. Your son may be gifted, but, learning to read and write is far different than reading and writing to learn. The practice that children get in written expression particularly, as thier fine motor, visual motor, visual perceptual, and occular motor skills mature (which is phsyical, not really associated with IQ) require a linear instruction and trial and error practice. When kids skip, they may have small holes in instruction, but also, have lost out on that hands on practice, and most definetly, writing is the subject that seems to suffer.

Since your son seems to be able to accelorate topics, he may very well be gifted, but many kids will learn to read and write, and do basic math calculations very quickly, but will be on a more typical path by the 4th grade marker.

You may want to offer your son some enrichment at home, especially if you let him go back to 1st grade. You do not want handwriting issues to get in the way, hands down, this is the biggest trip up a bright person can have, and it will put a glitch in his academic development if you do not get it straightened out. If you have any thought that he may have fine motor issues, see an Occupational therapist for an evaluation and do some short term therapy so that small early issues can be fixed before they cause much bigger problems.

M.

I personally feel that any child can be taught to read and do math at a very young age, but usually by the time they reach upper elementary they are not so far ahead. It is more important to me to have my kids with peers of the same maturity level in their class. But at this point I think your best option may be to find a charter school were he can learn at his pace, but with kids his own age.

I'm so sorry your son isn't having a good experience. You say you do not know what your options are -- get online to your school district's web site, talk to the school counselor maybe,and find out. Does the district have any program for "advanced academics" or "gifted and talented" students? (Same thing, different terms used in different places.) If such things exist he's entitlted to them if he qualifies. But it sounds like maybe your district doesn't have these kinds of "differentiated services" for gifted kids. Still, fiind out -- not hearsay or what parents tell you, but the official policies.

Does it offer an official spectrum of services for kids, such as having GT specialists who come to the school once a week and pull out these kids for additional teaching? If it does,I'd talk to that GT specialist right away and let her or him know about the teacher's stated intention not to teach the GT kids properly. And of course I'd tell the principal as well -- your child is not getting the differentiated services he should be getting. But if your district has no provisions for differentiated services, GT specialists or GT classes, you can't claim he has the right to them, unfortunately.

It's clear the teacher is not trained or even personally inclined to teach gifted students. Her lack of training, and the fact it's a mixed-ability class instead of an all-GT class, is making her overwhelmed and resistant; I'm not defending her lack of ability to teach the bright kids, but do be aware that she may be dealing with other stuff you're unaware of, like disciplinary problems, or kids with learning difficulties whom she must "bring up" to a minimum standard in order to pass certain tests or her job's in jeopardy, etc.

It's too bad he was allowed to skip so early; our district doesn't even do any gifted testing until kids are in 2nd grade, and doesn't put them into all-GT classes (if they qualify) until 3rd grade, so they have time to mature personally and get a foundation in the earliest grades. Right now, I think, puttiing your son back in first grade this late in the school year, more than halfway to the end, would send him the negative message that somehow he is lacking-- no matter how much you tell him it's not his fault, it's for his own good, etc. He will view it as criticism and will act out accordingly.

You may have to bite the bullet for what's left of this year; work extensively with him at home to supplement the steps that the teacher doesn't want to teach him; provide fun opportunties like trips to museums, kids' classes at community centers etc, for enrichment; and remember to give him some ways to blow off steam physically and just play -- since more of his free time may end up being time when you're helping him deal with schoolwork.

Don't badmouth the teacher in his presence no matter how much you loathe her; that teaches him lack of respect and it will carry over when he starts with a new teacher.

And look now at summer programs for enrichment but don't overload his summer with classes. Find out at the end of this school year what he will need to know to cope well at the start of the next one and find out how to plug any gaps -- but don't overdo it or he'll feel like he never got a break. Good luck. I really feel for you.

I repeated kinder because we moved to a different state. I;m not stupid, I was always top of my class but I never thought of myself that way.
My daughter skipped 2nd.

What you will do is set him up for failure. He will always see himself as a failure if you put him back. It doesn't matter that he is the smartest in the school he was sent back. He failed.

My suggestion is to work with the gifted coordinator in the school system and get him an IEP. Yes they can have one for giftedness , not just ADD slow learning, behavior, etc. All children must be taught to their abilities.

Teachers do not know how to handle the profoundly gifted child.
Look it up on the internet, google profoundly gifted. They learn differently they have different peer interactions than most other children. THey talk differently, they are usually bossy, over the top annoyed with those of less intelligence. THeir brains are working at the speed of light, where ours work at the speed of dump truck.

He should not be taught more than once the long way to do anything.
Let him stay in 2nd and challenge him at home. Work with the principal to get him into a good teacher who will work with him next year, at his level. If he is truly profoundly gifted his "peers" are not in first or second grade with him. THey are in 5th and 6th grade, then in 3rd when he is reading at a post high school level they will be in 8th and 9th grade.
Always give him more. Take him to the library and museums. Get him into music lessons, individual sports, swimming, taekwondo, fencing. Teach him to play Chess, Go and Mastermind.

Do not put him back. I have failed my own daughter by not putting her up another grade or two. She has spent the last 5 years bored out of her skull. Even AP Stats at a young freshman, and Calc at a sophomore. She goes to school now to waste her time.

my children go to a private school where as a policy they never advance kids - the philosophy is everyone has something to work on during that grade. for some kids it may be reading for others, the teacher may teach them nothing that year - but their job is so learn to interact with peers in a classroom.

i would do second grade over next year - with a different class -
good luck. it must be a very hard situation.

You'll run the risk of him being bored, and acting out that way, if you put him back in 1st grade, I think. My DH was similar and skipped from 3rd to 5th grade in school. He had some trouble with it, and they wound up putting him outside of his 3rd grade classroom with special work to do. Not the most socially inviting scenario.
Of course, advancing him too fast has it's own side effects. My FIL was similar. Graduated HS at 15. Had his undergrad degree by 18. Graduated Lawschool at 19. The emotional issues of being around older kids when he was not developed that way left some big scars. He hates talking about it today.

Maybe homeschooling would be an answer? I would talk to a child psycologist (independently. Sounds like the school district isn't very good there) and see what approaches they can recommend. You certainly don't want to hold him back, but you want to make sure that he's emotionally healthy as well.

Children - ESPECIALLY that young - need to be with their peers. If they are not, they will be socially crippled. They will not feel like they fit in. Please keep him with those his own age. He can be in an 'advanced' class for like 30 min or an hour, but the rest of the day should be spent with his friends.

Either that or home school and find a bunch of play groups where he can socialize with others his own age.

I would NOT put him back. Instead, he should be in the gifted program with the other gifted second graders. Perhaps a better teacher too- sounds like she is not interested in teaching gifted kids. (odd, I would find that more rewarding). I skipped a grade in middle school and my younger brother skipped 4th grade. So we both graduated high school at 16 and started college at 17 - both of us had lots of friends and did just fine. And we both went away to school. Both of my parents went to college having just turned 17 also and no problems there.

Also there is no rule that says single age classrooms are better than mixed age classrooms. Montessori schools do mixed ages as do (I think) some Waldorf schools. My son is in a Montessori now and kids in his class range from 3 to 6 years. He has friends of all ages. I don't see how that is a handicap.

Have you considered a Montessori school? It might be a good option as they allow the kids to advance at their own pace. Public school, right now, might not be the best environment for your son.

I would just explore all the options that allow your son the academic stimulation he needs, and the socialization kids crave.

I know many parents who waited to start their child in kindergarten or 1st grade (depending on the school system and what type of preschool they had access to). None of them ever regretted having their child be older/smarter in the class. However, I know quite a few parents who thought their child was gifted (and seriously, even if your child really is, there's no such thing as being gifted from 9 months...) and bumped their child ahead and realized that intelligence doesn't determine readiness. If he's already having issues, you can be pretty sure that as he moves along, it will get harder. Everyone else will mature before he does and as he hits upper-el and middle school, he'll get left behind as the baby of the class, he'll be smallest in gym and sports, everyone will drive before he does, they'll all be 18 before him...
Give him the gift of time. There's a lot of evidence that skipping a child might or might not be beneficial and you won't know until it's too late, but that it never hurts to hold him back. He might do just fine if you leave him where he is, but if you pull him back while he's young enough no one cares, he could he the star of the class.
Only boring kids get bored in class. The truly gifted children can find interest in any class.

Could you have his switch 2nd grade teachers to another one who is more understanding or willing to work with him? Or, could you switch him to another school in the district, one that has a teacher that will work with him? My mom had to do that with my youngest brother, he needed to skip first grade and the principal at the school where he was going told my mom that she doesn't believe in skipping children ahead, no matter how smart they were, he would just have to deal with it and stay quiet while the other kids were working, he was getting in trouble a lot for talking to the other kids and bothering them while they were trying to finish their work. So my mom had to go to the school board and request for him to be sent to another school, each year she had to request for him to go to the same school until she decided to home school him. Now he goes to a private Christian high school and loves it! He is a little younger than the other kids his grade but has had no problems making (and keeping) friends.

I would only send him back for social reasons...if he struggles making friends and acts noticeably younger than the group and is immature for the second grade. For academic reasons I am not sure why you think it will be any better in the first grade. The work will be even more deccelerated than the second grade. And from my experience in what is considered a very good school district is that gifted education is severely lacking. They don't want to bother with the bright kids when they need to use their time making sure that everyone else can pass the state testing or risk losing funding. So what you experienced in your first school is extremely out of the norm and I am not sure you will have much success finding such a public school again.
What you should have probably done coming into your new area is interview all of the public schools and then move to the one with the best GATE philosophy. I am currently in the process of doing that here in my hometown.

Have you considered homeschooling? If not you may need to look at around for other school options. A public school may not be the best option for him. If you send him back will he feel like you are punishing him? YOu need to find a program that is less grade focused and more mastering of skills focused. I don't know what this is called. Where I live in Ohio there is a school that focuses more of mastering than what grade your in and I think all schools should be set up this way. The way you talk about this new teacher doesn't sound good. She is supposed to teach all kids not just ignore the ones she thinks don't need instruction. He needs to be in a gifted program to encourage and challenge him. But keep in mind that pushing him ahead academically has a cost too. He may end up socially challenged by not having the same experiences other kids his age have. Can you talk to a educational consultant? They are in the phone book and can give you better advice for your area.

Smart or not, kids need the step by step (even if those steps are accelerated for the learner) because they are stepping stones to the rest. I don't think you need to have him in first grade if he has already surpassed that unless they will put him in first and still teach to his level. See what the principal has to say first.

Maturity happens not just with being gifted.Skipping a grade level in elementary school it was a big switch from Kindergarten to second grade.The teacher has explained herself well she shouldn't have to teach your son step by step directions & having the rest of the class wait the step by step directions happens in first grade.You may feel that he is being let down at school what are you doing at home to help keep up his skills teaching just dosen't happen at school it is the parents first & foremost responsibility to teach their children at home & keep up the skills so for falling back doesn't happen.He should be practicing writing at home all the time so for you can see how he is doing.My son is in 1st grade they have fast testing,what they are learning in 1st grade is impressive what he was taught in Kindergarten was remarkable it wasn't just arts & crafts reading & singing like it was when I went to school.Keep him in his class then repeat the second grade next year.This is something that you'll have to also ask your son he may not like to repeat the second grade in fear of being teased that he is the smart kid but had to repeat the same class over or pull him out do homeschool prepare for next year with a repeat of second grade or advance him onto third grade.

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wow. I would request a new 2nd grade teacher. I'm sure he'd do fine with a better teacher. Does your school not offer gifted classes? My daughter scored 98% on GATES test and has been in a gifted class since kindergarten. She still does regular 2nd grade now, but has one day a week where she goes to a gifted teacher/class. Good Luck. I would search around for a better school that offers gifted classes.

hello i myself is a 14 year old teen and i just want to say with all honesty if i were given the ability and opportunity to skip i would'nt maturity would be my main reason how many of you would like to be put in a class with people you dont know and would probsly look at you like a piece of meat

Teacher want all kids to be average. It makes teaching easier. The ones that struggle get pulled out of the classroom for help, ones above in their opinion need none. They get it at home. My dd has been slightly above average and the teacher have all tried to make her average until this year. She finally got that great teacher who saw something in her. She is in 3rd grade. Once your son reaches 3 grade things will be different. They start to study things like the Titanic, electricity, the teacher asks the smartest 3 kids in the class to go home and do research on the subjects. Math varies from addition, fractions, multiplication, division. While some kids stay on addition other kids can go and go the other types of math. If I was you I would stick out 2nd grade so he will reach 3rd and get him closer these subjects. Heaven for bid he get this teacher next year too. You didn't mention when your son's birthday falls in the year. 3 and 4 grade it is harder to tell which ones are the fall and summer birthdays. So the age gab won't be so big for him next year. Good Luck and keep teaching him at home. p.s. sorry if my writing didn't come out right all the time, I had a stroke and what I mean sometimes doesn't come out, hopefully you can read between it.

I hope you've asked your kid how he feels about it.

IMO, I think he needs to be in a different 2nd grade class. I don't think sending him to first grade is a good idea, that's what my parents did to me, and I grew incredibly lazy. Then in third grade I was punished for being bored and reading books in class, in high school my self esteem crushed and fast forward to 7 years later and I feel like such an underachiever now. I'm responsible for my underachieving as an adult, but as a kid - I just wish my parents had consulted ME before making decisions that affected my life so much.

But that's my two cents, but your kid's opinion is more important. At least hear him out first.

Is your son behind academically or is he just having difficulty adjusting to this teacher's style of instruction and personality? Is he able to keep up socially? Does he have friends in the 2nd grade class?

My daughter is very similar. She was very academically advanced going into Kinder. I did not have her tested but she is very bright. However, socially, she was very definitely a Kinder kiddo. Her school was very flexible with us and allowed her to go to a 1st grade class for reading and math but remain in Kinder for centers, social studies, science and special areas. She made great friends in her kinder class and all but ignored her 1st grade peers (they just weren't into the same things). During 1st grade, she stayed in 1st grade all day long. She had a great teacher who challenged her on her level plus there were a few other smarty pants in her class. We also do a lot of enrichment activities as a family (museums, science projects at home, planetarium, camping, day trips, travel). So her brain is plenty stimulated.

Now we are in 2nd grade and while the work is still easily mastered, she has a teacher who seems to "have it out for" the over achievers and she is not crazy about her. But she has wonderful friends in class and can understands that not all teachers are as terrific as her 1st grade teacher (so she is able to just suck that up).

If your son is having issues keeping all of that together now, let me just tell you, it gets worse as they get older. In 3rd grade the social gaps will get wider and the teachers are usually even less touchy-feely.

So I guess I would have his social intelligence more in mind when making a decision. I imagine your son is going to do very well with his education no matter what class he is in and you can always fill in curiosity and stimulation gaps yourself. If you think socially he would be a better fit in 1st grade, go ahead and move him down. You don't want to spend another 5 months being unhappy with the way things are going. Remember, a social education can be just as important as the academics.

As an elementary teacher and school counselor by trade (SAHM for now), skipping a grade is generally not a good idea--no matter how smart a child is. I have seen where a child misses the kindergarten cut-off date by 2 days or so and the school will give the child a waiver to start early, but that is totally different. Boys, generally, are less mature and that will be more evident if he is younger than the other kids in the class. My son has a July birthday, so he will graduate from high school at 17. Depending on when your son's birthday is, he could be 16 graduating from high school. Then what? Would you send him away to college at 16 or a young 17. Think long term. Can you afford a private school, IF the private school near you offers a better educational opportunity?

While I'm not where you are yet, I'm already having these concerns with my son. (Just an example of some of what he's doing: He's 19-months-old and knows all the letters of the alphabet - capital and lowercase- and the sounds they make. We're starting on reading now.)

We had already planned on homeschooling but since he is showing signs of being gifted, there is no way I would put him in public school. IF I was unable to homeschool him for some reason, I'd definitely look into a Montessori-type school because from what I've read they teach to ability not to age.

Anyway, to answer your question: I would say see if you can switch teachers but try to stick out this year and see how his 3rd grade teacher is. Putting him back in 1st grade isn't going to guarantee you a great teacher like the one he had in 1st grade in the other district. Definitely see if there is a gifted program available and what the principal suggests you do.

I honestly don't understand all of these people who say that kids must be around other kids their same age. Socialization occurs on many different levels and I'd much rather my kids be comfortable with older kids and/or adults than feel the need to fall into cliques with kids their own age group. It's just silly, if you ask me. Everyone develops differently on every level. Sure he may be emotionally the same age as his peers and if that's the case, make sure he has plenty of playtime out of school with kids. But if he's ahead academically, why should you hold him back just because other kids aren't as smart? That's only going to make him feel different and unsure about himself, in addition to being bored out of his mind.

It's a balancing act... hope you can find yours! Good luck and let us know what happens!