We have a family friend that is like a part of our family (my mom even dislikes her as much as she'd dislike her own sister!). In any case, this friend has been around my whole life, and she joins us in celebrating everyone's bdays, holidays,etc.
Now that I am married with 2 kids, I am having a hard time figuring out how much money to spend on her. Her bday is at xmas time, and adults do not exchange gifts. However, she is always very generous with my kids (40-50bucks each), and she spends 40-50 on each of us for xmas. I usually only spend 30 dollars on other adult family members for their bdays from the kids, and roughly 75 for xmas. Since it is only her, and not a couple, I kind of feel like I need to do more for her.
I sent her a $75 table tree for xmas, and I have already gotten her a $40 GC for her bday. I am thinking I need to do something more for her xmas present since she is going to spend close to $200 on my family. The thing is, this woman wants for nothing. If she wants something, she buys it. Coming up with gifts is hard, and you can only buy so much yard art!
My question: how much would you spend on her? Do I just get her another GC --the other one is to a really nice restaurant in town; I could get her another restaurant GC since I know she loves to eat out.
I don't think the value of what you get her needs to = the value of what she gives you. Buy her what you think she would like/use/want/need!
There is no need to spend as much for someone as they spend on you. Gifts should be given from the heart. It's the meaning of the gift and not the cost. The way you wrote this sounds like giving her gifts is an obligation. I would focus more on the pleasure that you give her. I agree with Lisa's suggestion of taking her out to lunch etc and sharing time and fun with her.
The fact that your question is chock full of dollar signs doesn't sit right, probably because it's not the right way to be thinking in terms of gift-giving. Don't be consumed with matching dollar amounts. A framed picture of your family or taking her out to lunch would be meaningful, and not just "stuff". Everyone's budget is different--I'm sure this woman understands that.
I would treat her to dinner/lunch and some holiday shopping or a movie,etc. An experience is much more fun and memorable than just stuff. They say you forget what you got for a gift but remember doing things together. Merry Christmas=)
Its everyones choice on what they "can" and "want" to spend on a gift. Just because she is excessive with her gifts to you and your family, doesn't mean you have to do the same for her. I struggle with this myself. This year tho I don't care. I've told my mom, aunt and cousin that we are "cutting back" and only getting them gift cards and would like them to do the same for us. So I think you have done PLENTY already and wouldn't do anymore. Good luck.
how about a nice framed picture of your family, with or without her in it, or maybe one of those calendars that has pictures every month? or a donation to a charity on her behalf? some people really like that, especially if they have a family member they have lost to cancer, alzheimer's, etc...
The idea of Christmas and giving gifts is not to make sure you spend the same amount on they as they do on you. You are totalling this up like it's a contest and you have to have the same totals after opening presents. Think about what the true meaning of Christmas is and you'll have your answer.
Handmade ornaments/decorations from you and your children with you gift card tucked inside.
Here are a few ideas. Make a calendar for her of your kids pics, either a desk or wall calendar. Or you can even have your kids make her something. She would probably love a gift from the heart more. She most likely doesn't want you to spend money on her since you are married and have kids. She most likely would love you to save your money and spend it on your family. I have a friend who does the same thing for my kids. She like pics for her desk to show off.
Do not underestimate the value of spending the holidays with your family! To commemorate that, why not give her a framed picture of her with your family, and a handmade card (or piece of artwork) from your kids. Also, if she works, consider sending the handmade birthday card to her workplace. Alot of people really cherish the reminder that there are children in their lives who love them dearly. You seem to be a very generous person, so don't worry about money and simply enjoy having this special person in your life!
