I'm 31 and pregnant with my 3rd child. Since the beginning of this pregnancy (which was planned) my husband has been saying he wants to get a vasectomy, which is fine with me because I'm pretty sure I don't want more children. Well, a month or so ago my MIL mentioned that I can get my tubes tied right after giving birth while I'm still in the hospital. I've had two normal vaginal births and hopefully will have a 3rd vaginal birth. I really don't want my tubes tied. I'm just remembering how tired and stressed I was after giving birth and don't want to deal with having surgery on top of it. I don't plan on having an epidural, but having tubal ligation would require anesthesia and pain meds afterwards, my feeling is why would I want that while caring for and breastfeeding a newborn if I don't have to? I could understand if I was having a C-section and then would be having surgery and pain meds after anyway.
To be fair I started considering it and researching it more on the internet but I'm curious what other peoples experiences have been with tubal ligation right after childbirth. It just seems that a vasectomy would be easier. I'm not pushing him to get it done and would be ok with something less permanent for another 5 years or so, but he's been very adamant that we have to do something permanent. I had an IUD before with no issues, and after being with him for 12 years we've never had an unplanned pregnancy, so I'm not sure why he's sorta freaking out (I guess the thought of 4 kids puts him over the edge lol).
Thanks everyone for the support, its nice to know I'm not alone in my feelings. I have to go with my gut and put this decision off for a later date. I guess I was looking for more ammunition in my argument against getting my tubes tied, but I think my reasons are enough, primarily I just don't want it done right now and I'm not ready. My husband will have to accept that. If he insists on a vasectomy then we will discuss it more. Somehow I think he won't do it right away either. We are both in our early 30's and you just never know.
The least men can do is get clipped. We carry their children for 9 months, and then we nurse them, and wake, night after night, to nurse some more. The least men can do is get clipped. Seriously. I'd hit my hubby on the head if he said it would be easier for me to have a tubal ligation!
I had this same discussion with my ob during my 4th and last pregnancy. He told me "Sure I can do it, but in all honesty it's faster to have my husband get a vasectomy. Plus the $$ price is less, healing is less complicated. Sometimes women can have future complications from a tubal. He said sure I can do it I make $$ money from it. But if it were me and my wife. I would do it before putting her through it."
I went home and told my DH this, and that was the last of that conversation. While still pregnant he went in had it done, and went fishing two days later. He will even say it was no biggie
"My husband has brought it up a few times now saying it would be easier than him getting a vasectomy."
I don't know what he's smoking or drinking, but he's nuts (no pun intended) if he thinks that it'd be easier. Easier for HIM, maybe! A tubal ligation is FAR more invasive with a much higher rate of complecations than a vasectomy.
Encourage him to get that vasectomy done now so by the time baby's born, you've recuperated, and you're ready for nookie, he's only shooting blanks.
My first thought was MIL needs to mind her own business. What you and your hubby think or decide about your reproductive organs is your business not hers even though he is her son.
With that said, it would certainly be much easier and cost effective for your husband to get a vasectomy instead of you getting your tubes tied.
I hope this helps.
Your husband said it would be easier than him getting a vasectomy? HA!
You've done your part -- you've carried and birthed his children -- now it's his turn. Don't let your MIL (or your husband) bully you into this. The vasectomy is the much simpler surgery. If he's "adamant" about it, tell him to have at it. The nerve.
Your MIL needs to mind her own business.
A tubal ligation is only easier immediately after childbirth if you have a c-section. Otherwise, wait until you have completely recovered from labor, sleep deprivation, breastfeeding struggles, etc. I vote for your husband having a vasectomy instead.
Not sure I would do it right after the birth. Much easier for for hubby to have vasectomy. You do not sound like you want to do it, so don't.
You carry and birth and breast feed three kids, and the hubster doesn't want to get a vasectomy? It's so much less invasive that I think it's pretty selfish of your husband not to consider that. I would go with a vasectomy or an IUD.
I'm going to skip all the what's easier on whom blah blah blah.
However, I had my tubes tied right after my 3rd vaginal birth ... I was 31 also. But I knew 100% for sure that *I* NEVER EVER EVER wanted to be pregnant EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER again. Hubby didn't care one way or the other. And I'd have had it done even if he objected LOL I was DONE with pregnancy.
As for how things went ... I had my youngest on a friday at 5pm, on Saturday at 9am I was down in the OR getting prepped. They did a spinal on me (and gave me groovy drugs so I was uber relaxed and chill listening to music while they did it), tied me up and poof that was it. I only needed one dose of percocet later that day. After that I was ok with just some tylenol for tenderness. Monday at around noon I went home.
For me it didn't interfere with caring for my older two (ages 5 and 3 at the time) or the new baby. I wasn't any more worn out than any mom with 3 young kids. I wasn't in a lot of pain. In fact I want to say I was pretty much pain free in less than a week (might have been slightly longer tho ... it's been 15 1/2 years so my memory might be a little foggy LOL).
Honestly though ... you and hubby need to sit down together and have a complete and full discussion of this. Discuss fully all the issues surrounding each procedure. Also if one of you is more opposed to the procedure than the other. Leave out the whole MIL stuff. And realize men are naturally and instinctively VERY VERY VERY protective of their junk LOL
Hope all goes well. If you have any questions feel free to message me.
Uh, no, it will most certainly NOT be easier for you to get your tubes tied. Sorry, he can take one for the team and have the vasectomy as planned. You'll have plenty to do caring for a newborn and recovering from delivery without throwing surgery into the mix. Your MIL is uninformed as to the risks and complications, it's as simple as that.
Not only is the process of getting tubes tied much more complicated and risky than a simple vasectomy, there are other health issues that can arise years after from it.
This would be a no brainer for me. Tell your husband that you researched it and that he should schedule the snip as planned.
Dear Moonfrog,
I will quote my OB/GYN on this. "Having a vasectomy done is a lot less invasive and expensive than you having your tubes tied." Both my babies were vaginal births. I had my tubes tied afterward. The plan was to have it done right after the birth of my son and use the epidural I had in place. That didn't work out because my doc was called into an emergency birth situation. My epidural became ineffective and the result was surgery with anesthesia. I did fine and it was tender while I cared for my son who was an 8lb baby. It's not horrible, just uncomfortable and lasted about a week.
All I knew is I wanted something permanent done. I was 40 when I had my son and I have very complicated pregnancies due to a blood clotting issue. My husband wasn't on board with having a vasectomy so I had my tubes tied. I have never regretted having it done.
Blessings to you as you decide your path.
L.
Only wish I could have a fourth now that my youngest is twelve and oldest off to college next year... Three was enough for my husband, too, when the kids were little, but life changes. Now we only wish we could have another of our own. Let your husband do something less permanent, but don't sell yourself short! Blessings, S. F.
Trust your intuition and don't do anything that doesn't feel right. You don't have to have a rational reason for feeling the way you do--even though you do, in fact have a lot of rational arguments for not getting your tubes tied.
My SIL got hers tied after her second, totally convinced that she was DONE. The day after she knew she made a mistake. She is still convinced of her misstep and is thinking about saving up to do a challenging reversal surgery.
You don't know what life will bring and you are still quite young. Your priorities of caring for a newborn and minimizing your own stress are sound and wise.
God bless.
We had it planned that if I had to have a c-section with our son,I would get my tubes tied. If not,the hubby would get his tied. Hubby got his tubes tied about a year after our son was born.
