Getting Toddler to Fall Asleep Without Me in Bed

My daughter is almost five and I still lay with her to fall asleep. (Although luckily for me she falls asleep almost instantly)

I think no matter how you end up doing it, he is going to have a hard time adjusting to it...but if you start something, be strong, know it doesn't happen overnight and stick with it.

(Easier said than done. I'm just hoping that my daughter will grow out of it at some point. Her sister is 2 years younger and doesn't have this problem)

Is there a particular reason you don't want to do this anymore beside that you think its "bad"? I would make sure he really is tired and stay with him. I don't think its a bad thing that you do this at all. I mean, he isn't even 2 right? There are lots of methods to break this habit but they involve lots of crying and honestly, at this age, they SHOULD want you to stay with them. I think its natural for him to want you to stay with him. I hear you that it takes a long time, maybe move his nap ealier or move to just one nap...or a short one?

Do what works best for you and helps you keep your sanity. Our 4 year-old has developed this insane fear of the dark. We have to lay with him almost every night. Our daughter is much better (she's 2).

So, I'm writing my message just to let you know you're not alone. There are MANY of us out here with the same problem. Some people are much more black and white with issues of sleep. I tend to be that way with other things (like manners).

We're both working parents, and this is the easiest way for us to maintain our sanity currently.....if it's even possible.

Good luck.

Oh, man! I've been dealing with this too, except mine is almost 3!! I don't have to lay down with her, but I have to sit in her room. The supernanny thing didn't work for us. So, no answer here, just know that you aren't alone! I just sat in her room for an hour and she's still awake. I gave up.

My son and I went out an purchased a small fish tank together and a few fish ( big goldfish) that he picked out and named. At bedtime we left the light on the fish tank until he fell asleep. The sound of the tank or the feeling that he was not alone or the fact that watching the fish made him sleeply - whatever.. it worked. He went to bed w/o me. Then I felt sad that I was replaced.

Its really important to address your fears. Why are you afraid to leave him alone if he's upset? Is he safe? Have his needs been met?

So many of us cannot listen to a crying child. My husband immediately retreats to the basement or puts the crying baby in a room and closes the door. However, sometimes kids cry, but they do stop eventually. Parents who give in because a child is crying have BIG TROUBLE on their hands as the kid gets older. They know exactly what to do to get their way.

Obviously the idea is not to just let him scream until he stops hours later of exhaustion, but to teach them to soothe themselves. Is the crib safe? No climbing out. What about the room, is it nice and DARK? Lights can be distracting to light sleepers. What about white noise? My family has used fans to drown out the neighborhood noises at bedtime. It also helps if we need to get up early or in the middle of the night, or with staggered bedtimes for the girls who share a room.

I would suggest letting him learn to cry it out. He's not an infant that can't communicate any other way. DON'T lay down with him. This is a bad habit and teaches him to NEED you to fall asleep. Have some cuddle time after the basic bedtime routine you do, maybe rocking in the rocking chair singing some quiet lullabies and then lay him in bed and let him know its time to sleep. He will immediately sit up and start to cry, lay him back down and say that its time to sleep, and then walk out of the room. Stay close to the door, or watch your monitor. Give him 5-10 minuets to settle himself. Then go in and give him a hug, tell him you love him, that its time to sleep, and lay him down again and go out. Next time you go in, don't talk to him, just lay him down and go out. Keep doing this and give it a little bit more time between going into the room. He's going to learn that he can't get out of his crib and you aren't going to give in.

Don't let his crying bother you, he knows it worked before, you have to teach him it won't work now. Prepare for this taking several hours, and it might be a week before he's learned it, but above all else DO NOT give in. If you do its all over! They have to learn by consistency, if you give in once, they'll always wonder if you'll do it again, and chances are you will. That is very confusing to a kid. Also it sounds like he's been sleeping with you before, so remember this is all new to him, so he's loosing some of the security he had before, that's why he's waking up every time he moves - you're not there to bump into. However, he'll get it, it will just take time.

Good luck, I know this is tough, but you BOTH need it! Mom and Dad need sleep and privacy!!! ;)

Just do the Supernanny thing--keep taking him back to his bed, tell him "time for bed" the first time, then no talking after that time.
It might be hard for a 19 mo to do this. Good luck!

when i met my husband he slept with his son every night. i told him it wasn't a good habit to get into and he did break it. If you have decided that it's time, then you need to stick with it. What we did, was he would go and lay there for 5 minutes, and did that for a week, and then went to just a minute for another week, and then the following week, we said good night and left the room. it allowed him to get used to sleeping on his own and it worked great for us.

If you read you could set up a chair so your toddler can see you, but you aren't distracting to him. When we transfered my 2 1/2 year old from our room to her own room (well actually the room she now shares with her 1 year old brother) she was so used to me being there when she fell asleep that it would take an hour or so for her to fall asleep in her own bed, with me sitting beside her. I finally figured out the book idea and got a lot of reading done! Its harder to do at night, but I just kept the hall light on and read by the door. That was you are still in the room, then they get more used to not having another warm body in their bed. I didn't mind falling asleep with my DD, I still love it when she takes naps with me, I just needed the evening time to get housework done.