Getting Son to Sleep in Crib

I think the best book out there is the "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. I loved it and it worked. It is perfect for breastfeeding moms especially co-sleepers.

Good luck.
J.

i was in the exact same situation 3 years ago with my son.

we co-slept, and he wouldn't sleep in a crib at daycare. i decided it was a daycare problem & i wasn't going to let daycare dictate how i raised my child. that being said, i had serious differences with our daycare director (but not the actual caregivers!). she seemed to be the only person (including chase) that really had an issue with the sleeping. chase basically went through daycare not napping well for about a year. he was an incredible sleeper all other times though.

my advice is don't put your son in a crib because daycare wants it - get him into a crib if it's truly what you want. unfortunately, in terms of crib advice, we coslept until chase moved into a toddler bed; however, i'm sure you'll hear from lots of moms with crib advice! i do know that a consistent routine will be your best friend!

good luck, and take care of you!
J.
mom to chase (3)

Hi R.,

What we did with our son was start out with laying him in his crib for naps during the day. I would rock him to sleep and then lay him in the crib. He woke up the first couple times a little more upset than normal because he didn't know where he was. But after a couple days he adjusted and has been there ever since. I suggest start doing this on the weekend, or take a day or two off work just to get this done. If he whines or cries go get him, cuddle him back to sleep and then leave again.

I found the adjustment was much harder for me than him. I missed having him close, and was worried about him being okay. You don't have to let him cry it out, and the more you run in to pick him up, the safer he'll feel because he knows you'll come and get him.

Also don't be afraid to quietly sneak in and check on him whenever you want. It teaches you your little one's sleeping habits, and reassures you that he's not in any danger. :)

Good luck!

number one i have been a mother 4 times. absolutely never let your child sleep with you. my brother in law did this and now they have no privacy. put the child in a crib and turn on the tv so you dont have to listen to the crying. your child is becoming spoiled. you need your space. stop feeling sorry for him. he wont cry himself to death. it is harder on us then it is on them. he is not laying there thinking what a rotten mother you are. actually you are being a better mother making the seperation. sorry if i am seeming to be harsh. the crying might go on for a few days then they completely forget what has happened.

I agree with the others. I'm not a fan of the ferber method because it just didn't seem to work for us. The "No cry solution" is WONDERFULL and so is "The Baby Whisperer". I now can put our baby in her crib and she falls asleep on her own and believe it or not it frees up a great deal of time for you and baby is much happier! Good Luck I know it's hard to make the transition.

R.,
I kow your son is a bit on the young side for this but does your son have a transitional object at all? My daughter has slept with the same blanket every night since the night I delivered her. I know some parents don't like blankets or stuffed toys that their kids get too attached to, but my daughter has slept through the night every night since she was about your sons age(in a crib at two months) and now that she is in a toddler bed she even puts herself to bed as soon as she sees that blanket come out. Maybe find a blanket or soft toy and give it to him at nap time or when he is sleeping with you. As he gets used to sleeping with it, it may be easier for him to sleep either in his crib or at daycare without you. Once he is used to it, I recommend a gradual approach. It requires some crying put not alot, and you are there to sooth him, just don't pick him up if possible. Try to get him to fall asleep while you are next to the crib, then in the rocking chair, then by the door, etc. Gradually he will be able to put himself to sleep. God luck!
S.

Hi! I understand where you are coming from! My daighter did ok in the begining with sleep, but then she would wake up a lot at night and I would take her in bed with my husband and I (it was a lot easier). Then, it turned into that I had to sleep with her every night. I too did not want her to cry, she would cry so hard she would throw up! But I have another baby on the way and need to have her sleep in her crib. What I did to start transitioning was have her fall asleep with me on the couch and let her get into a deep sleep then I would transfer her to her crib. If she woke up I would do this until she stayed asleep. After a couple of weeks of this I finally started letting her fall asleep with me, then put her in her crib, but if she woke up, too bad. I knew she was tired and she eventually went to sleep. But these past few weeks or so I have started only putting her in her crib while she was still awake. At first is was sooooo hard. She would scream and throw up and I just wanted to go get her. But I knew I had to stand strong because it was for everyone's good. Now she just kinda whines for a minute or two (or sometiems a little longer) and falls asleep. Naps are still kinda hard. I used to just take a nap with her or rock her to sleep, but just the past few days I've been putting her only in her crib and eventually she falls asleep. It's hard, but it gets better!
So, I guess good luck!!!

My daughter had a hard time learning to sleep in her pack in play. We discovered that the surface is too hard for her. We put a plush blanket down and put a sheet over it to hold it down in the corners. It worked like magic. As far as the crib goes, you don't want him sleeping with you when he is 5, 10, or 15. I know it's hard to let your little one cry, but you've got to do it if you want to brake the cycle.

Unfortunately you aren't going to do this without crying. But it is the best thing for your child, he can't sleep in your bed for much longer. The best thing that worked for me was to get one of those music boxes that lights up and plays music and then the music gets slower and the lights get lower. It lulls them to sleep and helps them learn to fall asleep by themselves! This is so important or you are going to have a two year old who won't go to sleep untill they crash out somewhere! I know it is hard to hear him cry but you have to do it!! Hang in there and in 1 week you will have baby that can fall asleep by himself, you will get better sleep and so will he, it is a good thing! Good luck!
T.

I couldn't agree more with the previous post. You should not change your child-rearing decisions because someone who you hire and pay to watch your child is inconvenienced by them. Besides, there is no guarantee that your child would sleep better for your babysitter in a pack n play even if he sleeps in a crib at home. I'm sure the environment at her home is completely different than the environment at your home. He may be unable to sleep at the babysitter because its cold, its hot, its too quiet, its loud... any number of things.

We did a family bed for both of our children and despite a number of "warnings" from people who thought that was awful, I have never regretted it. My 4 year old son sleeps with no problem and my 22 month old was doing great until the 2 year molars started coming in. But I'm sure once the teeth come in, he'll be a good sleeper again.

If you aren't ready to let your child sleep in a crib, than don't let anyone pressure you to do otherwise. I am amazed that there is so much pressure on getting your baby to sleep through the night in a crib and people seem to base "good" parenting on your ability to do that. Don't listen to them. Do what you feel is best.

With my oldest daughter I would only bring her in our bed during the night until she settled and once she was out I would return her to her bed and she would take all of her naps in there too. With my second I made the mistake of never using the crib and she falls asleep on me. She wakes up instantly when I put her in her crib and refuses to sleep in there. She sleeps in our bed. Now I have to wait until she is a bit older in order to transition her to a toddler bed. Shes 17 mos now.
My suggestion is to do it sooner than later. It is ok for her to cry. Most likely the crying will stress you out more than it is the baby. Use your pack and play to get her used to the idea of laying down for her naps. She has to learn how to calm herself first.

I think it is rediculas that this woman wants you to change your routien just so he can sleep better in daycare. There is nothing wrong with co-sleeping. Why make your nights miserable to make the daycare workers time easier? I used to work at a very good daycare center, and we would rock,walk,read and sing every baby to sleep if we had to. We wold NEVER dream of asking a parent to change how they have thier child sleep.

You should only have your son trying to sleep in a crib if that is what you really want him to do and if you are ready for that transition. How does he take naps for you when you are home? I doubt that you lie down with him on your bed for the entire time. My daughter (now almost 5) has never slept in a crib. She slept with my husband and I until she was 2 and then transitioned into a bed. During naps, she slept on our bed alone when she was bigger (on the couch or floor with blankets when smaller) and at daycare she would either sleep in her swing or on the couch or floor with blankets. I have always despised cribs because they look like little cages to me. But your feelings as a mother come first and what you feel is right for your child when you are ready. I would never suggest allowing your child to cry if it does not work for you.

Hi R.,

I certainly agree with pp that this is your decision, not the daycare provider's. Keep in mind that it's not an all or nothing thing. With both my babies, I did partial cosleeping, meaning they went to sleep in their own beds in the evening and then join me for cosleeping in the night.

We found it worked best to come up with a bedtime routine and have my husband rock or pace them to sleep and then lay them down in the crib. They don't always stay down the first time and it takes a little experimentation to figure out how it will work for your baby. If your baby's never slept in a crib before, you also might try just letting him play in there a few times before you expect him to sleep.

I would never let my baby "cry it out" as I believe it is unnatural and harms the mother-infant bond. There is a good book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution." by Elizabeth Pantley that has lots and lots of ideas and tips that don't involve letting the baby cry.

I also just want to comment that I never felt that cosleeping interfered with the baby's ability to sleep for a babysitter. Is this a new situation for your little guy? It may just take some time for him to adjust. If that's not the case, I would just be sure the babysitter is making a real attempt to tune into his needs.

Good Luck,

L.

There are two sides to consider. The ultimate question is whose parenting values matter most here?
It could be argued that she works for you, and you are the parent and it is her job to work around the needs of the parents who pay her and the children she cares for; not for the parents to change their lives to accommodate her. If you work full time, you may only get to see your baby 1/4 of the waking time she does, so some of that night time comfort is bonding for you and your baby. Do you want to give up that nursing cuddle time that is so important to both you and your baby to make her life easier? Especially since there is no proof that your co-sleeping is the reason he doesn't nap well there? Maybe it's noisy there. Maybe she puts the babies down for naps when they aren't tired. Would you appreciate someone isolating you when you wanted to interact? Maybe he doesn't like the space or the surface she puts him on. Maybe it's colder there than at your house and he's uncomfortable. There could be any number of reasons he doesn't want to nap there that have nothing to do with his time with you. That's an assumption on her part. I nursed and snuggled my baby to sleep, and co-slept, until she became Little Miss Independent at around 3 years old. She napped at the sitter's and slept overnight at the grandparent's without us being asked to change our parenting style.
On the other hand, the day care provider spends all day with your baby, and others, and bonding is not a priority; maintaining order is. For it to work well for her, she may have a right to say 'my house, my rules'. Her job is to act as a substitute mother in the absence of the actual mothers, not to warehouse children with the intent of just keeping them alive, warm and fed until the parents pick them up. It would be nice if she wanted to love and bond with each child in the same way a mother would, comforting a baby who wants to be held instead of being alone in a crib, but it's probably not practical.
So, it comes down to, who loves this child most and knows what's in his best interest? A mother's heart breaks when her child cries for a reason. Only you can know what's right for you and your baby.
K.

Hi R., if a crib is something you do decide to pursue....I do have a couple of ideas. My son hated his crib after sleeping in a bedside sleeper for 6 months, so we kinda make his crib a little more desirable so that he would be ok sleeping in it. I am not a fan of letting a baby "cry it out". anyways, we got this really neat crib toy, its a fisher-price rainforest music thing, and it has lights and music and little animals that move around in it, and the music is awsome, he loves it! I also pulled the crib so that its about 6 inches from my bed and i make sure to sleep the same direction as him so that he can see me whenever he wants to. If he has a hard time sleeping, i lay in my bed and he lays in his crib and I hold his hand and sing to him. I hope these ideas help and just do what is best for you and your family, not anyone else! good luck!

We've lots of sleeping trouble with my 9 month old as well. We didn't like letting him cry, but certainly gave it a whirl. Guess what? It didn't work! I think he'd cry for hours if we let him! A friend of mine suggested the book, "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems By Teaching You to Ask the Right Questions". I'm breastfeeding as well, and I didn't agree with the author's views on scheduling for babies, but her techniques for sleep have really helped my little guy! The author believes in really teaching your baby to go to sleep in their own bed. When we put our little guy to bed, our goal is always to have him calm and going to sleep in the bed, by himself. We rock him until he's sleepy, put him in his crib, and then see what he needs. Sometimes he just goes to sleep (yay! He's learning!). Other nights, he just wants to know that I'm there until he drifts off, so I put my hand on his back and wait a few minutes. Other nights he cries, and we have to pick him up and put him back down a few times or even rock him to sleep. Afterall, there are some nights when we as adults have a harder time falling asleep than others. Babies just need to know that that's ok and we still love them and will help them. For my son, it works really well, but every baby is different. It's enabled us to remain sensitive to his needs while teaching him that it's time to go to bed. I also feel like it's a friendlier way to teach them than just leaving them to scream their heads off and "figure it out".
Best of luck finding a method that works for both you and your little one.
:) M.

I switched my son to his crib at 5 months. We co-slept with him swaddled before or he would nap in his sling or swing. I started the switch when he was going to sleep reliably at night and only waking up once in the early morning to nurse. I created a bedtime routine: diaper change, pajamas, book, get swaddled, nurse, bed. Then I let him cry for five minutes then I would get him out and put him to bed the old way in our bed. After 4 nights, he fell asleep in the crib before the 5 minutes were up. But then he didn't the next night. Since I had decided that having slept in his crib one night he needed to continue, I started letting him cry for up to 15 minutes. If he was still crying, then I would go in, nurse him some more and then try again. He always fell asleep nursing either the first or second time so we didn't have a problem until I began losing my milk supply. I cut out the nursing and instead gave him a bottle before the bedtime routine. After a week or so, he reliably fell asleep within the 15 minute time and now at 9 months he almost never cries at bedtime. We also don't swaddle him anymore since he was 6 months and started getting out of it in his sleep. I didn't try to get him to nap in the crib until after we dealt with bedtime because he was a really bad napper. Now he naps in his crib, but if he doesn't fall asleep after fifteen minutes we take him out and try again later.

Sorry so long. Hope it helps.