Here is what worked for us:
If my son really wanted his paci, he was allowed to climb into bed and lie quietly and suck on it. I think we began doing this around 23 months of age. The paci had to stay in bed, but if he felt he needed it, he could go and get it. But he had to put it down in order to get out of bed. For the first couple of days, he spent a lot of time in bed, but as life outside of bed became interesting, he asked for "quiet time" less and less often, and then he was asking for it every couple of days. I think he just needed to know he could have it - he didn't actually need to have it. After another month or two, we were able to remove the paci from the bed except at bedtime and naptime.
I am not saying this will work for you, since every child is different, but I will add that when I finally took the paci away from my son (about two months before he turned three), there was absolutely no fuss, no problems sleeping, nothing of the issues I had expected. It was a wonderfully easy transition. I'm hoping the same will apply to my daughter!