Getting over the Hump

I just took a class on how to get your autistic child to follow your directions better. You have to wait until you have time (and the patience) to follow through.
You have to be very clear and simple.
Say: Put your socks on. And if she does make a great big deal praising her. Tell her: Great putting your socks on. Or whatever.
If she doesn't say: Nice try. Put your socks on. Like this. And then put one sock on for her. You can do it hand over hand so she is at least participating in it and try to get her to do the other sock.
Bait her with a cookie or something. If she does it, give her the cookie right away. If not say: Sorry, no cookie. And since she knows how to do it anyway, that'll be good incentive for her to put her socks on herself. I made a monster with the just-let-me-do-it approach. My kids can tell when I'm frustrated and use it to their advantage. Hope that helps.

Hi E.

My 5 yr old son also has autism and we have similar issues , I've noticed that he is much worse if I just try to do something without any warning , so now I give him 5 minutes notice of something that we have to do , when were getting ready for school in the morning(which is a very rushed time)I will say 'I'm going to get dressed and brush my teeth and then I will dress you and brush your teeth'.He is ok with this as he has time to process the information. I know that visual timetables also work well , you could draw pictures of the routine you want to follow so she can look at it and see what is coming next , you could even draw the picture of hersrlf putting on her own socks. These kids have an amazing memory so she would only need to look at it once and will know what's next...it would mean that you would have to stick to it religously though otherwise you will have another meltdown to deal with!

Hope this helps

K. H

I've worked with kids with autism, and my suggestion to you is to make a behavior chart for putting on socks and shoes--maybe she can pick some stickers she likes, and she earns one each time she puts on her socks and shoes independently--don't know if you've already tried this, but using a chart can be a consistent and concrete way for kids (w/autism or not) to be rewarded for doing things by themselves.
Hope this is helpful to you; best of luck!

I have read excerpts from a new parenting book due out soon that says children behave this way because they are realizing that as they get older you do less for them and this scares them...they want to make sure they can still depend on you to do things for them, so they stop doing things they know they CAN do....it makes sense and I have seen it across the board with my 4yo and his friends. I try to allow extra time so I can sit with him and reassure him that I am here for him if and when he needs me, but that he does not need me to put on his socks (I am dreading the end of summer and end of crocks and the actual need for socks).

Don't forget that often times Autistic children's motor skills should not be compared to typical, even if it's a 2 year old typical child. If it's difficult for her, it might be that she isn't in a place at that time to tackle something that frustrates her so much.
We battle the same thing, about shoes and socks, but mine is only just learning the motor skills it takes to put them on, and he's five.

Good luck!

My daughter is developmentaly delayed and loves to play it to her advantage when my patience is wearing thin. I totally understand what you are going through! To get her to put them on I ask her to help me. I basically play dumb and make it as if she's showing me how to put them on. Stand your ground! If you know it's going to be a battle that day, give yourself extra time to get her to put them on. Good luck!!!

hi E.. i am not a mom but a teacher who has worked with some autistic students. repetition. we used to take our shoes and socks off everyday at the same time. that was to teach them how to do that task. they usually like repetition so be careful. the other request have you tried a (i dont know the real term but a sucking toy) that sounds gross but it is made espeically for kids who need this and it either hangs around their neck or can be clipped on. a girl at school had an elephant. at first it was in her mouth all the time. then as time went on it wasnt in as much. email me if you like.