Getting over Daughter Living in Another State...

I guess I would fail at "Raising independent child 101" I would want to move closer to her or ask her and boyfriend if need be to move closer ( or work for an airline so I fly). I guess talking frequently would be good....

I know the feeling When my husband was offer a good job in Atlanta I have to sell our place and move from Puerto Rico which has been my home for 35 years Secondly we had to convince JA our son to finish his master degree in Miami (he would not come to Atlanta) When he did he decided to join the navy and to make a long story short he was medically honorably discharge knees probles. He came to Atlanta and after looling for a job decide to accpet one in Orlando because he could not find a decent job in Atlanta So I know how you feel and the only thing I can say you always going to miss them I do anyway

Wow. You broke my heart. I was the daughter that moved away too. Actually PA to GA. I know it was hard for my mom. Both my sister and I eventually moved away. First let me say that you have done a great job to raise such an independant daughter who is secure enough to move away from home and make a life for herself.

Stay involved. Phone calls, letters, care packages are still appreciated. I don't know when it gets easier. I know it was tough on my mom when I had my daughter. We find ways to keep connected though.

It hurt the most when my mom told me that she didn't want me to have children if she couldn't be near them. I know she didn't mean it (told me so later too), but it was really upsetting. Be careful. She is trying to make her own way and I am sure she misses you too and doesn't want to hurt you.

At least you can talk to her on the phone. My son is in China, I see him occasionaly on the computer, talk to him that way also, although he got married, had a child (now 4 years old). It's hard, but keep busy. VOLUNTEER to help someone less fortunate.

She will be fine, my son is there in PA. I went though the same thing, he's been there for 2 years I have a hard time not being able to talk to him all the time but he's fine and she will be also all we can do i pray for their safety and may GOD bless them in everything they do.

Use Skype to talk to her over the computer with video weekly. Plan some visits to her. It is time for her to be independent but loved and supported by you. As for you, your hands are already full with a new three year old! How wonderful to open your home and heart to a child who needs a loving home!

Hi D.,
I am originally from PA, I moved down here to Ga 4 years ago.
I see my mom about every 8 months. She comes down to florida to visit her in-laws for christmas. I go up for easter. I miss my family dearly. my sister, nephews and neices all live up there.
How I finally came to terms is that somebody said to me, when are you going to start living your life for yourself instead of for everyone else. I know its hard with being a mom.
It really never goes away.
The only thing that I can say for the advice thing is just cherish the time that you have to spend with her instead of dreading the time that you two will be apart.
I would feel proud, that you did a good job raising her. College-graduate, and has a good job. (especially with this economy). You did what you were supposed to do.
I hope that this helps.

I know what you mean. My daughter is married and she lives 4 hours away. The first 3 years we talked 3 times a week. The 4th year we talked twice a week. Now in the 5th year we talk once or twice a year. My husband and I go to see Catrina, my 4 year old granddaughter, and my son-in-law twice a year(Christmas and my granddaughter's birthday). I still miss my daughter, I think that I always will.
P. S

This is the time of her life to become independent. The more you try to hold on the more she will probably withdraw. Stay in touch. Notes, baked goods from home if possible and please consider her boyfriend when you send things. A nice gift certificate to a local restaurant where they are living. The more you let go and encourage her in her new life, most likely the closer you will become emotionally. I like to fly out to visit my daughter for 2 - 3 days maximum and do so with her schedule in mind. Get busy with things you love doing and when you send her an e-mail or note be upbeat about what's been going on for you. Even though she may not admit it now, the adoption of a 3 year old may make her feel you have replaced her. Don't share too much with her about this child as it will only make the sibling rivalry worse. My son had been away for 25 years and moved back. Both daughters who live close by have admitted to me that they felt jealous at first for the time I spent with him. We had only seen each other a very limited amount of time so we did have to get reacquainted. Just make her feel loved when you see or talk to her but don't allow yourself to be controlling. V.

D., I'm not sure I as a mother would ever want to feel your seperation. I know how I feel when my children go out of town for a week with their Grandparents. I think I have something that "WILL" ease this feeling you have for your daughter.My husband and I are reps for a company that sells video phones. This phone will allow you to see your daughter anytime you call her. For only $30 a month. You can call her as much as you like and see her every time you talk to her just as if you were standing in front of her. Go to our web site and click on products and check it out. You each can get your own plan or you can get a family plan. On our web site there is an email address where you can contact me if you have any questions. I'll tell you, since we got ours we can call my mom at any time the children love it & I wouldn't trade it for the world. try it... mikeandtina.acnrep.com
~T.