i posted a question a few weeks agao about putting my almost 2 year old in a toddler bed. i know she is probably not ready but has to go into a bed for reasons at daycare and home. She has only slept in a pack and play and the mattress in it is not good anymore. Plus at daycare she will have to be in one due to a new baby starting in 2 months. I expected it to be hard (especially with her personality) but it also dont seem to be getting much easier. It has been like 3 weeks or so now and she is still constantly getting out of bed before falling asleep. Some nights are not so bad and its only like 5 to 10 times within a half hour but it is soooo frustrating! Last night she got out for an hour and a half before she fell asleep. It is just me putting her and my son to bed and i feel bad because with her doing this my 4 yo son does not get to have his normal routine. He is being so patient and doing well but i feel so bad. I am exhausted and frustrated!! Any advice on how long this transition should take before she gets it and just stays in bed? She is smart and i know she understand. She just done like to listen and pushes her limits in every way possible. I would definatly consider her a spirited child. I even moved her bedtime a half hour later so she would be more tired. I keep the same routine every night and just keep putting her back in bed. Why is she still getting out constantly? I am seriously ready to just put her back in a pack and play if this dont stop. How long do i give it? I know everyone says you cant go back once you start but i cant be spending this much time everynight putting her back in bed. Advice?
thanks!!
oh and i have been doing the super nanny technique. However after 3 weeks now i do scold her at times to stay in bad. It is hard not to when i dont get why she is still getting out constantly. she is a very high strung demanding little girl who can scream and throw a fit like the best of them LOL. she is great but very challanging.
Put a baby gate at the door. One that she can not climb on to get out. Let her sleep on the floor a few times. like camping.
Make sure you have a good and consistent nighttime bedtime routine.
Once it is time for dinner, no excitement.. Then a QUIET bath.. no horseplay, use low lights, softer voices. Take her to her room and put on her pajamas, read quietly to her , maybe rub her back, her arms, her feet.
Give her a kiss and remind her to stay in her bed and go to sleep.
Make sure it does not sound like a party is going on in the house. No loud talking, no loud TV, not a bunch of lights on..
Put up a gate or close her door. It does not matter if she sleeps in her bed or on blankets on the floor, just she stays in her room.
She may even look at books.
She will soon become tired of the excitement of being out of her bed and will realize she cannot get out of the room.
Also I agree that if she gets out of her room, do not look at her, do not respond, just walk her back every time.
Super Nanny stresses being consistent each and every time a child gets out of bed. She says to walk them calmly and matter-of-factly back to bed, don't turn on the lights, make no eye contact, do not speak or have any interaction whatsoever, turn and walk away. With my little guy it only took a few nights.
Your daughter is getting a rise out of you, she more than likely feels you're going to give in to her at some point, and if you put her back in the pack n play she won't have learned a thing other than Mommy doesn't mean what she says, to stay in the bed. And you will have wasted this time. Since your daughter has been doing this for 3 weeks, and you're tired of the whole thing put a gate in her doorway (they make high ones with vertical slats they can't climb,) put her to bed and don't worry IF she gets out of it. You could put her mattress on the floor to make it easier for her to crash there if you like. And hard as may be ignore the screaming and her throwing a fit, as long as she is in the room she will be safe. Eventually she will realize her bed is the comfiest place to sleep, meanwhile you aren't tearing your hair out with frustration, is just isn't worth it.
My son is doing the same thing. I tried supernanny and that made it worse. He thought that was a game and it made me sooooo frustrated.(Not saying its a bad technique, just did not work here) I 've had better luck (we are about 3 weeks into big-boy bed, he's 2 1/2) just ignoring him as much as possible.
We do our bedtime routine. All stories etc. have been moved into his bed. He has a white noise machine and the lights low for stories. Then I sometimes give him 1 book or something to look at in his bed. Then I leave, and he comes to the door instantaneously. I ignore him and usually he goes back into his bed and closes the door. If I jump up and tell him to get back in etc. he comes back for more and more and it becomes a game.
Last week we hadn't reached that level, so I emptied his room except for his furniture and bed. I took all the toys out. I also unscrewed the lightbulbs so he wouldn't constantly turn on the light and play. This week is better so the toys are in his room - but the lightbulbs are still out. And its more like what I described above. I've found that this has removed the crazy frantic game that was going on before when I was insisting he stay in bed. Obviously I want him to stay in bed. But aside from spanking him (which I don't want to do) i'm out of ways to try to get him to stay in bed totally. I'm okay with him playing quietly for 20 minutes before he falls asleep.
Good luck!
I think it's Super Nanny who says it shouldn't take long (couple days?) if you consistently return her to bed if she gets out. Don't talk to her, don't even really look at her. Just march her back to bed and walk out of her room. Over and over and over. It might takes hours the first night. And it's supposed to take less and less time until it's done. Even if it takes a week, I personally think it's worth it.
My daughter was 2 when we moved her to a big bed (with a bed rail - we skipped the toddler bed altogether) because little sister was coming soon. She didn't like the bed and preferred to sleep on a mat in the corner. Whatever worked. She could've slept UNDER the bed for all I cared, as long as she stayed in there. But of course, she didn't stay in there either. She also liked to come out of her room right after I put her down. What I did was put a night light in her room that was set to go off in the morning at 7am. I told her if the light was ON she had to stay in her room. When it went OFF she could come get me. It took a few nights of me returning her to bed and explaining about the night light, but she got it. Maybe try the night light trick? Good luck. I know how exhausted you must be!
If my son gets back out of bed 234 times I tell him I will put his crib back together if he can't stay in his big boy bed. Sometimes he tries to get out one more time so I go get the sides of the crib and bring them in his room. He usually stays put after that.
Or, I threaten to take the pacifier away. He LOVES his pacifier so he will stop right away.
Or, I tell him that mommy is now going to bed too. That seems to comfort him that he's not missing out on any more fun.
Sometimes none of these things work at all!
Threatening to take something away (and then following through with it) works well for us. What works well for you with regular discipline? Take the same principle and apply it here.
Put up a gate and make sure it's not too loud or lights on too much and she can do whatever she wants quietly and stay in here room. It seems bedtime is always such a hard time. They know you're tired, you are maybe rushing them to bed ( not you but in general I mean ) and they pick up on that. Do you read her a story at bedtime. Maybe go sit in the bedroom and read to her there and talk a minute with her about what you expect and tell her you're leaving then and will check on her in a bit but she is not to come out. Then do like suggested if she comes out by not talking but just marching her back to bed.
Use a gate on her door. I think that was an answer many people gave you before. Take "fun with mommy" out of the equation and it just may work. Kids will take any kind of attention sometimes... Even if it is negative attention(when they are driving us loco). Remove the attention and it's not so fun anymore.
There's a reason people say "crib til 3, unless they are climbing out.
WHY is it toddler bed or pack & play. TONS of people sell second hand cribs for $25 every day. I'd do myself a favor and get the child a proper crib. You can deal with the toddler bed nightmare later--after she's 3. And it will still be a nightmare!
Go in with her, sit beside the bed and put her to sleep. She will get the idea and eventually do it herself. In the meantime it will keep your home on schedule.
