Hi Bobbie,
I don't think there's a mom out there who doesn't feel some of this! (Don't kick yourself, it's normal!!)
If you're an analytical person, I definitely recommend a book called "The Sidetracked Home Executive"... I'm not sure of the author, but it has a system that has worked for us. You use a box and 3 1/2 inch index cards to file all of your chores (Each chore gets a card) by day/week/month. This was especially helpful getting my husband to help out... I didn't need to nag or whine, just ask if he'd completed his items in the chore box. Good luck!
-H.