Getting My Toddler to Let Daddy Handle Bedtime

It may be easier for you to actually leave the house at bedtime and let Daddy handle it. If your son knows you are there he may not cooperate, but if you leave and maybe run to the store or something, he'll realize that you aren't home. I'm sure that after doing this a few time he will be more willing to accept Daddy doing bedtime.

I agree with Cindy!

My almost 4 year old son prefers that I put him to bed. He used to have a full-on melt-down (my husband and I switch off between putting the baby and the older child to bed) when it wasn't my turn to go to bed. When it was my night to put the baby to bed, I would literally finish up with the baby and then sneak out of the house (I would go work out). Out of sight, out of mind - no problem, no meltdown. Once he got more used to the idea and accepting of it, I started staying home. Yes, he still gets a little bent out of shape but at least he knows the world isn't going to fall apart because "mommy isn't doing it". It's kind of funny now because EVERY time I leave the house without him, he thinks I'm going to work out. I leave for work at 5:00 AM and if he happens to wake up, he'll ask me "Mommy - you going to work out?" and then head right back to bed.

Leave the house - go to Starbucks and get a (decaf :) ) coffee, your local bookstore and flip through a magazine, get a manicure, or go window shopping for a little bit.

Let daddy do it without stepping in. This is really difficult and we went through it when my son was younger, but I was taking a night course and daddy needed to do bed time two nights a week.

First suggestion, let daddy and toddler have their "own" routine that is special for them. I always read to my son for 10 minutes before he goes to sleep, but my husband cuddles and watches a few minutes of t.v. with him. It's "their thing" and my son has learned that if momm is out-of-town or working then he "gets" to watch Dora with daddy. Bonus.

Second, leave the house for an hour so that neither of them can come to you. Let your husband know that you completely trust his ability to do this, but you don't think you could stay out of it while they figure this out, so you are going to use that time to hit the grocery story or something else that makes you "unavailable".

Third, try to create more independence in your older child so that he can get himself to sleep if needed. Are there things he can help with? Can the "big boys" brush their teeth together?

Fourth (and final)... try not to respond to his every need so quickly! If you start requiring him to "wait" now he won't associate that word with the new baby.

Good luck!

Maybe you can try doing it together for awhile, while your son gets use to Daddy being there. I'm a SAHM too, and we did this with our daughter, and now, while she still prefers I put her to bed, she will let my husband put her to bed as well. I also have my husband take a more active role on the weekends and take responsibility for more when it comes to my daughter. This way, my daughter builds her trust for him and knows that she is in safe hands.

I suggest having him do some of the bedtime things that you normally do. For example in our house bedtime includes 1 half hour cartoon, two books, brushing teeth, plugging in the night light, tucking in and then we do prayers and I sing her three songs. Daddy often watches the cartoon with her, reads to her and then tucks her in and then I do the rest. When we ask her who she wants to put her to bed, she often says 'Daddy can tuck me in then you can do prayers and sing to me.'

She still (as does her brother) wants me in the middle of the night. This one I don't fight her or her brother on. It's faster if I get up and check on them (and often hear them first - mother's instinct? or maybe hubby would let them fuss longer?). So I would maybe give into this one.

I was alone with my 2 year old when my son was born five nights a week. It worked out really well to put my son in the swing or on the couch or floor (couch only when he wasn't rolling yet!) and then I'd put her to bed. There were other times when I would have to take him into the room and hold him while I put her to bed. I am not sure if you physically lay with him, but maybe you should start sitting by his bed incase you do need to hold the baby when it's his bedtime.

Here is what worked for us:

I would give my son a sales pitch that went something like this: Daddy sent me a text and said that he is so excited to see you and put you to sleep. He would respond that he wanted mommy to read but then I explained that we need to take turns because we both loved him so much he began to understand. I also bought books that my son LOVED, like Thomas, and said that only Daddy reads the Thomas books. So, when he would say that he wanted Mommy to read, I would respond that I could read but only Daddy reads Thomas. Well, he was no longer interested in me then. :-)

It took a week or two, but now he has no problems!

What do you mean for your toddler to "let" daddy handle things?
Kids don't get to decide who puts them to bed. Sorry to be blunt.
I had to go into the hospital for a week when my son was 15 months. He not only got cold-turkeyed from the breast, but only had daddy for everything. I was incapacitated. There was no choice. My son, and daddy, did quite well. I think it was easier because it wasn't humanly possible for me to be available and they worked it out and did just fine.
Daddy taking care of things isn't the end of the world. It really isn't.
Trust me.....when there is no alternative, they do just fine. It will be fine if you just let it work itself out and not worry about it.

Best wishes.