Getting My Daughter to Want to Read

My younger son was a little like this last year. He is very smart, but he wants to do things his own way. Some kids do better learning to sight read (read the whole word) rather than keep breaking things down by letter sounds. There has been a long back-and-forth about this in the world of education, so it's not a "wrong" way, just different. It may help to try a book/cd combination, where she can hear what she's seeing, or reading along with her and letting her hear you say it (without making her break it down). We also put subtitles on tv and movies, so they are seeing what they hear. Let her choose books whenever possible, aside from "homework" or books just from the teacher. She probably has to do plenty of letter-by-letter reading at school, so try something different at home. My son, now in first grade, loves chapter books, but he wants to read by himself. I think whatever gets them reading is great! Good luck.

I use www.starfall.com for tutoring in reading. It's a very interactive site and fun for the students while helping them learn phonics and words. This might help with the motivation because she'll be learning while not even realizing it!

Just keep it light and fun at this age. Don't force her to sound out words. Try the dr Seuss cat in the hat books, they can almost memorize them and builds confidence. Also they love repetition. Limit tv and electronics, not as a punishment , don't even let her know you're doing it, but it does help with reading.

Hi L.,
I am a reading specialist and a parent of a first and 2nd grader. PLEASE do NOT have your daughter sound out words! It kills fluency and reading enjoyment. Reading should be fun, not work. I don't use decodable boooks with my students (or my own kids) There are leveled books online(AtoZreading.com for one) as well as at some educational stores. Kindergarteners should be using pictures, meaning and syntax (what would make sense?) as well as letter-sound clues to figure out words. Repetitive books are great (Brown Bear, Brown Bear) for early readers. Although memorizing books is part of the reading development process, if it bothers you, have her point to the words in the book as she reads. You can always go back and have her find a sight word on the page. (point to the word, "do", etc.)

I tell the parents of my students that if their child does not know a word, tell them and let them read on. Of course, if you are telling her most of the words, the book is too hard, and you need to just read it to her, and maybe have her just read all the "the"s(or another word) you come across together.

It sounds like your daughter is doing fine, and will continue to make progress as long as she doesn't start hating reading. Good luck!

M.

My 5 year old kindergartner was a bit like this also. Try the "Bob" series of books. They come in series of 10 books. Get the first series (available at any B&N, Borders, etc.) Your daughter probably can read the first book all the way through already so that will give her a "success." The next night you can see if she wants to read the second book in the series, or reread the first book. Some nights my son really wants to read a book to me and other nights he doesn't. I don't force him to read if he doesn't want to do it as the goal is to give him a life long love of reading. I still read several books to him each night before bed.

Go easy on her. Something is obviously going on and she seems anxious about it. Perhaps she is not having success at school or her peers are reading easily and she isn't and is very self conscious about it. The more you push and feel stressed, the mor eshe will push back. Reading is supposed to be sun. Acknowledge "that is a new word" or "this is a tricky one" and just read it and move on. She needs to build confidence an dis probably under a ton of pressure at school. Remember that Kindergarten is reading readiness and 1st grade is reading.

We pushed my daughter for years and it turns out she has convergence deficiency - were her brain doesn't make her eyes to converge to focus on close things. She can't see the words in entirety. Wish I could go back to Kindergarten and do it differently

Looks like you have received a lot of professional advice. So here's some common sense advice. Your daughter is old enough for you to talk to her about how most of the time we have to learn things step by step and can't give up if it doesn't come without some effort. Don't talk to her too long, spread this conversation over several days. Mention things you have had to practice to learn in your life, talk to her about how as an infant she had to sit up, roll over , crawl and cruise before she could walk. Yet here she is able to walk and run and jump. (By the way, how was she about learning things as an infant, toddler, did she throw fits or was she persistent? The answer to this informs you if this is her character or she is lazy or she has developmental issues) Before you begin to read, shortly review these conversations and say that you are hoping she will try before throwing a fit. If she does, then only work with her until she gets stressed and then stop. This is going to take several weeks, don't expect instant success yourself and the world will not end if you don't get through each lesson for awhile now. Let her see you reading a lot, that is probably the best motivator. If you don't like to read, just fake it. REad books to her. As the days go on, point out to her times when knowing how to read, i.e. to read signs while driving shopping etc is necessary. And point out to her when you are approaching a new task and will take awhile to be good at it. You want the joy of learning itself to be the reward for reading, so don't give her rewards. Do, however, open up her eyes to the wonders of the world and be alert to her moods and comment, compliment her when she shows curiosity, wonder, and joy. Good Luck.

Check out www.starfall.com
Both of my daughters use it and love it.

Hi L.,

My advice would be that at this point in her life, the best thing you can do for her is to make reading an enjoyable experience. It sounds like she is on target as far as her skills, so if something if frustrating for her I would back off. You might want to try other activities where she is still learning, but are new and therefore novel for her...such as, let's find all of the words on the page that end in e. But at this age, you really want her to see reading as fun to prevent future lack of motivation. For what it's worth, I have a masters degree in reading, but I certainly don't claim to have all the answers. :) Hope this helps.

L.
In my experience it will change my eldest a very smart cookie did not like reading out loud because it was "hard" she really needed glasses and after those were on and she got to 3rd grade she really has enjoyed reading. She reads about ###-###-#### pages a week now as an 8th grader.

Read to her other books the more you read to her the more likely she will want to read. And read aloud some non picture books too.
J.

She will pick it up later. I wouldn't force her to read it but you can help sound it out for her. She seems to be really self conscious. The point is to get her to enjoy reading. Pick books that are more her level. Check the library for kindergarten and pre-k books. They also have storytime at the library. The more she hears other people read, the better she learns. There's always books on cd/tape. My son loves to listen and follow along. He's 8 and he's always loved that. Good luck.

its becoming a chore. instead of reading why dont you just have her read words for a week or two throughout the day instead of sitting for a reading session she dreads. label evrything. have her read the word and if she reads it she gets a sticker on a chart. after so many stickers she gets something...(like by the end of the week it adds up to a prize like going out for a special desert,baking cookies with mom, doing a fun craft that is really messy like clay , i dont know doesnt have to be pricey or a toy ) then hopefully you can move onto sentences somehow. At this point its a power struggle with her and that isnt good

I have four kids 14, 11, 3, and 1. The key is to find a book that they enjoy. Try reading one page and then have her read a page.Or a sentence. Have her start with a book that is easy for her to read and then work on Books that are a little bit harder. Then make sure that you are reading to her from more challenging books. It helps her to learn to enjoy them. I sell the best Educational Childrens books out there. They are Usborne Books. www.CrackOpenABook.com
I would love to help you find some books that she enjoys and give you more tips to help encourage her. You can also use books that have lots of pictures with just a few words to start with. Lots of colorful pages.

I don't know if your daughter is frequently frustrated when something doesn't come easy, but I have an idea to help early reading come easier. Make sure that she knows the sounds of the letters. Sounds simple, but it's possible that her classmates are ahead in this area and are able to read easier than she is.

Play games like "what letter makes the /a/ sound, in apple?" or "I spy something that begins with the /b/ sound." There are so many variations, you can start here and make up your own. The trick with doing this at home is using only the most common sound of letters. For example, you should use the sound /k/ for the letter c, as in the word can, instead of the letter c in cereal. You can use the words that she is getting stuck on in her readings, too, but many of those words may have letters without the most common sound. In these cases, give her the word. Depending on her frustration level, have her reread the sentence/paragraph up to that part and see if she can figure out the word by sounding out the letters that she knows (giving her the sounds for letters that she can't figure out easily).

Another suggestion is to allow her to check out a lot of books from the library. She can read into each one as far as she wants/can, and she can opt to switch to a new book for whatever her reason. This way reading continues to be on her terms at home.

You might want to dream up some games to play. WWW.starfall.com is a great computer site with games and things to click on that help with reading. Also, I play a bunch of games with my 2 and 3/4 yr old sounding out words. We play a game at dinner - guess all the words you can think of that begin with B or whatever other letter. We look for words as we drive, we read the books in funny voices and then we act out the stories. She can actually read a tiny amount already and is excellent at sounding out words and then telling me what the letters in the word are for simple words. We also love the Dr. Seuss ones that have silly rhyming words like the Wocket in the Pocket. We also do art with words and we stick up pieces of paper all over the place with words and we look through magazines and other things. I try to keep it all very good fun and as a game. Maybe your daughter will like some of the leappad etc where they can read along with the tag pencil or a phonic bus etc. good luck

My daughter just turned 6 and is in kindergarten. She has a fit if I ask her to try and read while I'm reading to her. I let it go because I know she's picking up some skills at schools - every once in a while she will say a word she sees on a billboard or cereal box, and she tries to write, so I'm not worried that she will have a literacy problem. Plus, I want to keep reading fun. I know if I push it, she'll avoid books altogether (it's happened in the past!). Some educational theorists think reading should come later anyway - at a Waldorf school I dont' think they even teach the kids to read until later. I remind myself that whenever I feel frustrated!

I have worked at an independant children's bookstore for over a decade and have worked with hundreds of reluctant readers, from elementary school through high school as well as leading seminars for teachers.

It is early days yet. DO NOT PUSH IT! Right now you don't need your daughter to be a fluent reader- you need her to WANT to read and to learn that reading is FUN so she can learn to LOVE it. In all of my experience that one thing is the key to getting any kid to read well and read on their own.

I have worked with troubled kids, kids with learning disabilities and some kids who were good students, but just didn't enjoy reading and the one common factor is always finding what they are really interested in and what they like.

I am going to tell you the best thing you can do to get your child to like reading, and it isn't making her read books she doesn't want to read or trying to make her sound out words she doesn't want to sound out. It is SO SIMPLE some parents refuse to believe it, but it is true:

Read out loud with your child. Every day, at least half an hour a day. That is the number one, most important thing I know to get your daughter to become a life-long reader.

I recommend the Rosemary Wells book 'Read To Your Bunny' . It is a short, simple little book with charming pictures and it was one of the first books my son could read out loud on his own after having it read to him over and over.

Also, take her to the library and let HER pick out the books. If you are reading something together that she has chosen, she is much more likely to be interested in it.

Just set aside reading time with mommy or daddy every night or afternoon and go from there. My son is in the 4th grade now and reading at a high school level and is in gifted classes. However, when he began to read, he was not really an early reader- he was right along with all the other kindergarteners and first graders and we just kept reading out loud to him all the time.

In 2nd grade it just 'clicked' for him and he started to devour books and read on his own all the time. Now I know he will be a highly proficient reader who loves to read his entire life.

Don't waste you money on fancy gimmicks or systems and above all DON'T WORRY AND DON'T PUSH IT! I have seen so many kids get turned off of reading by parents who mean well, but push too hard for fluency and comprehension too early. It will come, but only if they learn to love to read and want to pick up the books on their own.

Good luck and just remember: Read out loud!

My daughter was that way as well when she first started learning how to read. Her kindergarten teacher told us to just tell her the word when she gets stumped to avoid the frustration. You want her to read the book for enjoyment. You can then keep track of the words she needed help with and work on those later with flash cards. Maybe put a sticker on the card if she figured it out on her own and get a reward for a certain number of stickers. Blending the letter sounds together to make words is hard work and takes a lot of practice. Maybe if you seperate the two activities she will again enjoy reading the book to you. My daughter is now in first grade and at a third grade reading level. She loves books and that ultimately was our goal.

Take a deep breath- it's really okay! She's only 5, and she although she's intelligent, she may not have the neurological development needed to focus her concentration for that long or that hard. For example, if a child is repeatedly yawning while concentrating on a task, and you're pretty sure they're not actually tired, it's a sign of neural overload. Time to switch gears, and do something esle. Besides, learning to read earlier is NOT the same as learning to read better! The studies I've read show that whether a child learns to read before the age of 5. or after the age of 8, by the time they are all 10 or 11, they are all at pretty much the same level(unless dyslexia or other learning disabilities are present.) At this stage in her little life, her main job is to play, and play hard! If reading is not fun for her, let it go for now. If you really think there is some rebellion or laziness involved, then it should manifest in some other areas, such as not picking up toys, or not obeying quickly and cheerfully, and it would be better to address these character issues in relation to these tasks rather than to connect them to reading time. Keep it light and fun for now, and when she gets bored, move to something else. (PS- and don't forget to have her vision checked, if you think that may be an issue!) Blessings- N.

You have gotten some great advice. One thing I would add though is she may be discouraged by not knowing the word right away and then she gets frustrated. It is easier to give up than push on. One of my girls was like this. If she did not know a word, forget it. No more. Don't force the issue and maybe let her pick out a book herself every now and then. My daughter at almost 11 yrs now has no problems with reading. It used to be a nightmare trying to get her to sit down and read a book. It did take a while and I did worry that she would fall behind the others but she is doing great and is a very bright and creative student.

I've read to my son since he was 2 or 3 yrs old. We started with picture books and would look at the pictures together and talk about them. Then we started the basic Dr Seuss books. Hop on Pop, Red Fish Blue Fish, etc. We'd have lot's of fun just getting silly with the stories. Of course, as he got older, he'd have favorite books that he would have me read to him again and again, and he'd start memorizing how I read them to him right down to my voice inflections. If I made a mistake or changed how I read the story he would tell me that's not the way it goes. As he got to 4 and 5, I'd start reading the stories to him while pointing out the words and having him help me sound them out. We loved the How do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight series! He got to be really good at sounding out the long dinosaur names. With one of his memorized stories, he'd know what the next word should be, and he could start pointing to which word that was on a page. He made a break through in 1st grade and by the end of the year, he could read books to me, or we would take turns reading - he'd read the odd pages and I'd read the even pages. And we had GREAT fun with Fox in Socks and all the tongue twisters (still one of my favorites). If you want your child to love reading, you have to show it's something that you enjoy. Have fun with it. Read lots of different subjects and find things that interest your child. When you have a story that interesting, your child will not mind pushing themselves over a few stumbling blocks because they are too wrapped up in enjoying the story to notice that they are working to over come them. Now at 11, he reads all the time and it's all I can do to keep him supplied with books. His vocabulary is impressive. He's reading beyond the level of most books in his school library.

I'm having the same issue with my kindergartner. I don't know if it's the right approach, but when he's resistant I just read to him instead. (from real books, not those awful phonics books - she is right, they are boring! :-) I ask him to sound out a word for me every so often just for fun. But I want reading at home to be fun, not work, at this age. I have a 4th grader and I know that we're going to be having a lot of miserable nights of homework ahead of us. I don't see any reason to begin the pain early.

I think the move to a more academic, full-day kindergarten is pushing kids faster than some of them are ready to go in some areas. I think early childhood education is wonderful, but there's more to getting ready for school life than just reading and math. I remember that I was the ONLY kid in my first grade class who knew how to read. Things have changed a lot - but kids are the same.

Also, don't assume what's happening now predicts the future. My older son was slow to get started, but by 2nd grade he was being put into the gifted reading group.

But I worry about it too - it's normal to want your child to enjoy reading and it stresses me out, too, when they don't. So I understand. One thing I'm trying is doing other things with words. We do verbal games (rhyming and other stuff.) We play games that have letters and numbers. And he really likes to make his own words, so we play with magnetic letter tiles or he asks me how to spell out words. Maybe your daughter would like to make her own stories? You could help her with the bigger words.

Don't worry about having her sound out words she doesn't know. Sounding out words is a good skill to have, and necessary. But now is not the time for her to be practicing that skill.

I would take a look in the book before she reads it and make a list of all the big words you don't think she knows. Then sit with her and read the big word TO her (don't make her sound them out but make sure she sees the word and hears you read it). You could also sound it out for her, pointing to the letters as you sound it out. Then also define it. Give her lots of examples of use of the word until she fully understands what it means. She will brighten up so you will know when she understands it.

Then have her read the book. You will be amazed at how excited she will be to read a book of words she now knows! After you've read the word and defined it for her before reading, it's OK to have her sound out the word a little bit or give her lots of help. Sometimes I cover up parts of the word so the child can see the part they do know. They will be excited to read part of the word, and you can help fill in the rest.

By tackling the big words ahead of time and reading them to her she will feel more confident. You would not enjoy doing something that made you stop and start over and over. Coming across a word she doesn't know is like that, no wonder she hates it!

Later on she can get the skill of sounding out words and getting definitions.

Good luck!

Hello L., well I can suggest one wonderful and fun way to get your 5 year old to read and found that it works with my 6 year old son, what I do is when I cook or bake I have my son read me the ingredients, for example the other day we baked cupcakes from scratch and while he was reading the ingredients to me i prepared eveything for him and had him mix everything together, he had a blast doing it! And sometimes I'll make a frozen pizza in the oven and he'll read the directions for me. Or you can also buy comic books for her, you dont want to puch it on her because then that'll just make her dislike reading, I also have a friend and her son is throwing a fit every night about reading...Or even board games or picturnary, theres alot of reading in things like that too...The possibilities are endless and it just has to be fun for the children but im sure she will eventually love it! Good Luck!

Reading is the key to a student getting good grades. in kindergarten she should be reading books that only have a few words on each page. Most schools do not really stress reading a lot til first grade. But I know we have to push are children from day one to stay with the program. I think sometimes we all need to step back and say they are only 5 years old. They are still so young. Anyway I have a couple suggestions. I have taught Reading Comprehension.

First - I think you need to talk to her teacher. Ask the teacher what happens at reading circle time in class. Ask what techiques she recommends for a struggling reader? Also ask her if her class has different reading level groups. There are always a few students that struggle at the beginning when learning how to read. The class should have different level reading groups.

Second - Schedule your reading times and stick to the schedule.

Third - Make sure that there is no distractions when you schedule this reading time together. Also make sure the area you choose to do your reading in is very comfortable for both of you. Maybe on the couch or in a big chair. Comfort is a big part of enjoying reading.

Forth - Make reading fun for her by not making her just read the books that the teacher send home. Take her to the library and let her choose a few books that interest her. May I suggestion the Step into Reading Books. Most libraries have some of these books even the really small libraries.

Fifth - Make up a reading chart. On the chart mark the days you will be reading. Everyday she completes her reading without complaining she can put a star on the chart. Everything she get a set number of stickers on the chart she get a little something special. You can give something as simple as she gets to choose dessert for supper.

Sixth - When she struggles with a word write the word down on an index card so you can later review the word with her.You can even make a game out of this. Once you have collected maybe 18 of these card you can play a match game. Make up doubles cards for each word. Mix the words up and lay them out in rows on the table. Let her turn of one of the cards (she needs to say the word on the card) and then she turns over another (again she says the word) if they match she get to take the two cards and she goes again. If she does not have a match she turns the two cards back over and it is your turn. To make it a little easier make up a few cards with words that she already know.
With this game you are doing three things. 1st - working to improve memory skills, 2nd - helping her with her reading skills and 3rd - making reading fun by playing a game with mom.

Seventh - Do not force her to much because she may just climb in her shell and rebel against all reading.

I wish you the best of luck and remember each student learns at their own level she is only 5 and depending on when her birthday is she maybe the youngest girl in her class. Maybe she is just not ready for this big step yet. She may end up having to repeat Kindergarten. It is better if she needs to repeat Kindergarten than possible struggling in school in years to come.

God bless,
S.

At this stage, if we came across a word my son didn't know I would sound out it out and let him guess the word.

Talk with your daughter's teacher about strategies they use in the classroom. I doubt her teacher lets her throw fits at school so there must be a way she works thru it! If you repeat the same phrase or use the same sounding out technique as the teacher does, you'll be reinforcing what your daughter learns at school.