Getting My 4 Year Old to Eat Different Foods ~

I am going through the same thing with my 5 year old daughter. It's been going on since she was 3 years old. Finally I see her trying to eat other foods other than Mac and cheese or french fries. Her teacher once told me she thinks its a control issue. I have observed her for sometime and, I think its all about control too. She likes to test me and with food shes a pro. I finally decided to ignor it and I didnt cater to her eating habits anymore. If she doesnt want what I have cooked then oh well, no snacks no nothing . eventually she gave in after she starved one night. But hey it worked.lol.. Now shes eating rice, Something I thought she will never eat. She will vomit by just the thought of it. Now she eats rice all the time. She still gives me a hard time from time to time. But shes giving in.. So maybe that will work for you too.

M.

Hi J.
I can definitely identify with you. My son is getting better but there is still some difficulty with him trying new foods. I was really upset for a long time until I read online about "FOOD JAGS". I would like to suggest that you do the same because it helped me a feel a lot better. I realized my child was not the only one with this problem and they gave helpful hints.

One thing you can do is make the pancakes a little healthier by making them with whole grain oats and apple sauce. At home try adding a new food and don't force the issue if he tries it great if not don't worry about it. Eventually he will expand his foods

It might seem harsh, but don't offer him any of the foods you don't want him to eat. The carbs he's consuming now are not doing him any favors, and now is the time to change his eating habits so he can live a healthy life. Just remember, if you don't offer it, he can't eat it. Offer only what you want him to have, and if he wont eat it, then he can't eat. He won't starve, when he's hungry, he will eat what you offer. One of my nephews is 9 and has NEVER had a single fruit or vegetable since he left jarred baby food, except for raisins. My sister-in-law was unwilling to fight his stubborn toddler food behaviors, and placated him by offering whatever he wanted. He suffers from all sorts of vitamin and mineral deficiencies and is constantly sick and on antibiotics. His digestive system is a mess, with constipation, gas, etc. This is the cycle you are allowing to begin for your son. Be strong now, while his eating habits are still under your control!

There's a great book out there on hiding important veggies in foods kids love through pureeing: "The Sneaky Chef". Like pureeing squash and adding it to Mac & Cheese. He'll never know the difference and he's getting good veggies in his tummy. You can cut and paste the link below into your browser to get the book at Amazon.com. Good luck!!!

http://www.amazon.com/Sneaky-Chef-Strategies-Healthy-Favo...

Dear J.,
I am a weight management consultant and your son's eating habits are terrible. I have encountered this before and you have a long, tough road ahead. His habits will only get worse unless you take action NOW. Children have no concept of nutrition and only know what they like. It's your job to teach this to your children and get them started on the right road. Give your son what you know he should eat with his pancake as a reward. If he refuses, simply remove the food without giving in to his desires. He will not starve, sooner or later he will give in and eat what he should. He is at the perfect age to begin explaining about protein, carbs, fruits and veges, and their importance in growth and development. I heard of one woman with small children who puts magnets on the fridge to represent the 4 food groups. Each time her children eat from a food group, they move the magnet to indicate such. What a great learning tool. Each of my 2 children decided one night (each a different night) simply to refuse to eat dinner. I made each of them sit there til 11:00 and 10:00 pm respectively, until they ate their meat and veges. Then straight to bed. It took one night, but never again did they refuse to eat a dinnertime. What's expedient at the moment can cause more problems later on.
May I also give you a word of advice for your 2 month old. When it comes time to introduce food, introduce him to all veges before fruits. Fruits are naturally sweet and babies will like them no matter when you introduce them. By introducing veges first, and as early as possible, they will develop a taste for them and you will have less problems later on.
Good luck with your 4 year old's eating habits and Don't Give In. W.

Hi J.. It can be frustrating when your child doesn't eat a large variety of foods. I would discuss his eating habits with the pediatrician and maybe nutritionist because if he eats basically no protein, no fruit, no veggies, he may be missing vital nutrients.

At 4 1/2, I think he's too old for people to be putting mashed food on his lip and I'd ask the teacher not to do that again. But his behavior of spitting and making retching noises would not be tolerated at my house. If it was my child, I would punish swiftly for this, making him leave the table and go to bed immediately. This is just not behavior that would be acceptable in my home. It is up to you whether he behaves this way or not, by whether you permit him to continue to do this.

Good luck

Hi J..
Sounds like a dilemma BUT cooler heads prevail.
First of all, your son IS getting good foods. He will switch out of this phase at some point.
I used to get my finnicky eater to help me cut up fruit like bananas, peaches(canned or fresh).... soft things and have her help me make up her meals. She loved to do this. She would follow me and snack on them and there was no discussion about eating these foods. She just ate at will.
Guving the child an active role in his care in this way helps and it helps squash the sibling rivalry that IS happening tho you may not feel it.
Bake with him. Have him make an apron (from a craft store) and decorate it with him allowing HIM to pick the colors.
All of these eteps may help and you can involve the wee one as well.
ALl the best!

Let him go shopping with you and help prepare the food, this makes them want to try it more.

Honestly, it sounds mean, but if want him to try something, leave it as the only option. Put something in front of him for lunch, if he wont touch it cover it and put it back into the refridgerator, let him go, but with NO SNACKS until dinner time, where you take it out and put it in front of hin again, if he wont eat it, dont give him anything else. Chances are he will break down and eventually try the food. You wont be starving him. He needs to learn to try new foods because the diet you say he is on now is not healthy and is also forming the habits he will have for life. I would drastically change the way you feed your sons, to get this one out of this habit, and to make sure you are not in this position two years from now with your two year old. I have done thsi with my daughter before, she knows she needs to at least try any food i put in front of her, and she does now, but it took training. If she really doesn't like something I obviously dont make her eat it, but most of the time she finds that she likes it.

Does your son like dips? My daughter loves meals which she can dip stuff, like taco dip is about the only dish she will eat that has ground beef in it(she does not care for meats). By the time I add teh beans and veggies to it, the meal is healthy an dfun for her because it comes with tortilla chips.

Also, fruits and veggies to dip are fun. Try apples and peanut butter, that's my daughter's favorite.

Does he eat mac n cheese, there are a million ways to add veggies to mac n cheese that kids will eat. I have a recipe that includes a salsa and a ton of corn that my daughter loves and provides much more for her than a simple box of Kraft.(and tastes so much better)

It's all in the recipes, and mashed pear, I may have been upset for someone to put that on my lip as well, he is not a baby, lol.

I have some very kid friendly recipes, (most are meatless as my daughter does not care much for meats besidies fish sticks or chicken tenders), but if you are interested in some please message me, and good luck getting your son to start eating better. Kids can be stubborn and it is hard to get them on teh type of diet you want.

Get the book DECEPTIVELY DELICIOUS by Jessica Seinfeld. It instructs you on making veggie purees and "sneaking" them into everyday foods. I have it and it's easy to do and my daughter doesn't suspect a thing! Of course you want them to make the right choices and not have to sneak things by them, but for now, do what you've got to do! Also make sure he's taking a multi-vitamin if you can. GOOD LUCK!

I have a similiar problem with my stepson. He does the same thing. We don't make different meal for him any more. He must eat what we eat or he'll be hungry. Sounds harsh but he is now starting to eat lots more. It was a struggle at first but now he loves different things. Children won't starve. When he gets hungry enough he'll give in and eat the different foods you give him. Good luck!!!

try making foods fun. My two grandchildren would not eat broccholi. We went to visit a friend, and her husband started talking to them about eatting trees. As he said teasing things like, "What? You don't like trees?, Oh I love trees, see?" and he would eat the broccholi. both of my grandchildren love broccholi today. as for sandwiches, i hate bread crust myself. Make a sandwich and then use a cookie cutter to make it a fun shape, which also gets rid of the crust. Those are a couple of ideas. Have fun. T.

Hi. I have a 4 yr.old boy that also won't eat alot. He to has certain foods he will eat and then if you offer him something that he does not want he will refuse it and walk away. He actually has a sensory disorder. If he doesn't like the way it looks,smells or feels then forget it. We have an OT that comes to the house once a week to work on that and other sensory issues(feel of other things also). You might want to talk to your childs dr.about it. But just know that there are alot of Dr. that don't know that much about sensory disorders. Mine didn't.I was lucky enough to have a sister that siad I should get him tested by an OT. So when he was 3 I called Early Intervention and had him tested, and he qualified for it. If I can be of any help please let me know. Your son might not have those issues, he may just be picky. Either way I know how frustrating it is!!!
G. :-)

Have you tried mixing his favorite foods with the new foods? Try rolling up the pancake with an egg, jam, diced fruit, or peanut butter in the middle. If he likes pizza, make your own and add additional topping under the cheese. There is always more than one way to outfox a fox.

Good luck.

as I am only pregnant and not yet experiencing that frustrating time of the kids not wanting to eat new things (though I have been babysitting a lot of them lately!) I can offer what I have heard other Moms try: mashing banana and finely ground walnuts into the pancake mix or use a bit of whole grain flour in the mix, one friend of mine put cut up chicken on pizza and her son started to enjoy chicken on its own. My 14 yr. old step daughter to this day can detect broccoli in anything and refuses to eat it!

Jeanette,
Most kids like hamburgers and meatballs. One trick I learned from being a nurse is to make either meatloaf, meatballs or hamburgers with veggies tucked inside them.
Another thing is to dice up things like cheese, turkey grapes and other things like cheerios etc. and leave them in visible play areas so while he is playing he may graze on these things. It sounds like the tantrums are an attention getter and if he is playing without anyone trying to feed him he may just dig in.
M.

It sounds like you're fighting a carb addiction with him, so he's not going to change his eating habits easily. You do have to remember that YOU are the parent, and YOU make the decision about what foods to present to your son. If pancakes aren't an option, he'll be more likely to try something else. Be prepared for a screaming fit, but stand your ground, gently and firmly.

How long has your son been eating only pancakes/breads/junk food? At some point, you fed him fruits & veggies (when he was being weaned), so he can obviously tolerate them...he didn't show any signs of food allergies, correct? If that's so, then your son just needs to get used to eating a variety of foods again.

Here's what I did with mine (albeit as toddlers, mind you; I'm sure it will work with a nearly 5 yo, but you won't be able to give an inch): When introducing them to a new food, I just put a bit of it on their plates. They didn't have to eat all of it, they didn't have to like it, but they did have to try one bite (no spitting it out! Have a beverage ready to wash it down in case he finds it repulsive). That's it; just try it. After a few days (with your son, it will probably be a week or two) of getting used to the look of the new food on their plate and having one taste of it every meal, my kids got used to the flavor and would actually begin eating all of that vegetable/fruit without being threatened, coerced, or even asked. Once you conquer one food, start introducing another in the same way. If I were you, I'd also limit your son to 1 pancake, 1 (small) slice pizza, 4 potato chips, 4 french fries...just limit the amount of his regular foods so that he'll be hungry and more likely to try something else.

Good luck.

Dear J.,

I am sorry to hear about your frustrations with your preschooler. We have a 2.5 year old and have gone through similar battles. I was embarrassed when we went to a friends house and her 3 year old, her 1.5 year old and the visiting guest's 4 year old were all eating pulled pork sandwiches and stewed carrots while my 2 year old snubbed it and ended up eating a PB&J sandwich. It was so embarrassing and I hated hearing all of the parents say how picky my son was and how their children will just eat whatever they put on the table etc. It made me feel like an incompetent parent. My husband and I have tried MANY different approaches with our son and have had a lot of negative reactions like you said with the gagging and vomiting and tantrums when we "FORCE" a food. We have also tried sneaking food in with his favorites only to ruin and waste a food because now it is tainted and he won't eat it.

Now, moving on from the sympathy to the adivce section of my reply. What has worked best for us is allowing our son to make the decision himself. Of course the foods you want them to try have to be made available. So what we do is we all eat as many meals together as possible. Since they are at that age of curiosity, he curiously gazes upon our plates and asks what we are eating. He wonders why he can't have what we have. So he begs to participate and asks to put a little of OUR food on his plate. Sometimes he tries it and sometimes he doesn't. But eventually after the food is no longer strange he will no longer feel intimidated and will try it. Let him look at it and familiarize himself with it. Defnitely don't force it. They will just cry, get upset, gag, vomit etc. It gives everyone a headache and makes for an upsetting meal. This will lead to a negative relationship with food in the long run and can lead to eating disorders in the future.

Sometimes even when it is not meal time I will parade with a plate of fresh cut fruit or a healthy snack in front of him and I just sit there eating it in front of him. He will wander over to me and ask 100x's what I am eating. Sometimes he will ask for a bite.

This is a SLOW process but will add a new food to their plate once a month or so.

One other approach that worked for us is offering his share of the food to a sibling or saying you will eat it. They are so possesive they will refuse to give their portion away. So if I put a food on my son's plate and he is not eating it I ask him "can I have your corn?" or "Can I give your corn to your sister?" He gets very upset and strongly objects. So I respond "Well, if you want to keep that food you need to take a bite of it or I will eat it."

Also, your son is old enough to understand logic. Make deals with him. If you have one bite and just try it then you can watch the movie you want. The trick is to convince them to try it on their own to have them feel like it is their decision.

GOOD LUCK!

R. Niles

My daughter, 3 1/2, does the same gagging thing when she trys something new for the first time. Her diet also consists of mac n cheese, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, fries, and PB&J. She is a good milk drinker but vegetables and fresh fruits are not her favorite. She has asparagus (of all things) as her favorite vegetable and refuses to eat even corn. She likes bananas but no other fruit at all not even canned peaches!

You can't force him to eat but I agree with the other Moms that you should make him a plate of a variety of foods for every meal. The more exposure that he gets(even if he doesn't eat it) the better. My daughter hated pancakes and cereal before and would only eat eggs, now after months of trying she is eating all three. At dinner, I have stopped thinking about what to make for dinner around her palate too and started making more of a variety of veggies and side dishes and experimenting with different meats.

We have had a couple of nights of going to bed hungry and a few dinner time time-outs but it will be all worth the hassle in the end when she starts eating the variety of foods that she should. I also realize that she is asserting her independence and like with the trouble we had with the potty(still at it but not quite there); this is just another way she can say I have control.

Hang in there and know that many Moms and Dads are in your same predicament. I feel it's bound to only get better!

I hope I helped, have a wonderful day!

when my daughter was 4 she went thru the same thing only eating certain foods and refusing to try anything else while she was not in school i served something different for supper of course she refused to eat it i only put water for drink i let her drink as much water as she wanted needless to say she didnt eat dinner for breakfast she got supper and for lunch as well by supper time she ate the new thing from there on out she would at least try a bite of something new she also did the ill vomit trick too i ignored it thru out the day she would say shes hungry and i would give her the same thing water only keeps a tummy full for so long thus it was water only

My son is now 7 and is the pickiest eater. As a toddler he would everything, but now he refuses to even try anything. His staples are peanut butter, bacon, hotdgos,and bread of any variation -- pancakes, waffles, bagels,ect. Luckily he does like Polly-o String cheese and Gogurt. I've stopped fighting with him and let him eat what he eats. He's growing normally so the MD said he must be getting what he needs. He drinks only strawberry milk, lemonade, or warm water. Mostly its PB sandwiches. As long as there is nutritional value in what he eats, I leave it alone. I offer new foods when we eat, but he never tries them. I've given up driving myself crazy over it. Its not a battle worth fighting. I will however read your other responses to get some new ideas!

I have a picky 3 yr old so I know what you are going thru. The way I have gotten her to eat new foods is I've put her in a high chair and have explained to her that the only way she is going to eat what she wants, she has to try a little of what I give her first. She is extremely stubborn and she has done everything that your child has done. But persistence is the key. The screaming is nerve wrecking and can last for over an hour...but as Dr. Phil says, children will eat what you put in front of them if they are hungry enough...

Just went through this with my 5.5 year old. We started a sticker calendar and when he ate dinner that I prepared and gave him - not his choice, he got a sticker. After three nights he got a prize. The of course we continued and the next time he had to eat for 5 days then a week, then two weeks. We now just eat dinner. I found he doesn't like veggies except peas and carrots - that is fine with me! He eats three or four fruits regularly and always eats his meat and drinks his milk. You will be surprised how quickly a little bribery can work!

He cant eat pancakes morning , noon and night unless you make him pancakes morning, noon and night. It is your responsibility to feed him a healthy diet. I am a huge proponant of "eat what I cooked or be hungry". Your child will not let himself starve. Stop giving him pancakes and he will eventually eat other things

If he loves pancakes let him eat them... Mix Carrots and sweetpotatoes and a little water Together. Puree them and mix into the pancake batter. trust me. He won't even taste the veggies. Just a little bit sweeter

I have a three year old, a two year old, and a five month old. My three year old would not try anything new either, but I found that if they are really, really hungry, they will try something new, especially with my two year old. He's sometimes more likely try something new if he's hungry and I have shown that I am enjoying it and we have strict rules that they can't get down until they have taken one bite to try it. We are very strict, have I mentioned, all three of them are boys with different personalities...it depends on their personalities and so forth, but you are the parent and need to make it clear that he is not going to have potato chips and don't buy it for him and cut down whatever that is not healthy and they will eventually get what is healthy. But, I also know that it's a reward if you reward the good behavior. If he did something and ate some thing and tried it and still didn't like it for whatever the reason, then reward him later with a dessert that is his favorite. Bribe him. This is what you can say to him, if it's not in the house then you can't get it. NO, you're not being a bad mother, you are showing that your are in charge and that it's not in the house so he can't have it if it's not there. Do it now while he's young and while the two month old is growing up. And it's not easy either :)......

At this time do not force the issue. This is a problem many moms are faced with and the more you push the more he will resist. I know it is very frustrating when a child has very little variety in his/her diet.

When my nephew was two years old he ate nothing but a skinned frankfurter everyday for lunch and spaghetti with ketchup for dinner. He was so skinny, my sister was happy he ate the few things that he did. He is now 40 years old, a handsome, strapping 6 footer and eats practically everything. He probably started eating a variety of foods at around the age of 8 or 9.

What you might try every once-in-a-while when you serve him his pancakes, add one piece of a different food to the plate. If he puts up a fuss just tell him, "you don't have to eat it, just leave it on the plate." Do this for several days with that one different food; it could be a strawberry, a piece of banana, or even a piece of bacon, or even a piece of cheese. Sometimes it takes as many as 10 tries before the child will decide to try it. Of course, if everytime you try this he goes balistic, just remove it from the plate without saying anything and let him eat his pancakes. Don't promise him a reward for eating something new, don't keep talking to him about it, and just act as if pancakes everyday is fine.

How about making a face on his pancakes with different edible items. You can use raisens, chocolate chips, cranberries, or fruitloops for eyes, nose, mouth, coolwhip or whipped cream for hair, cucumber slices for ears, etc.

Also, you can try making sandwiches with different fillings, melted cheese, peanut butter and jelly, etc. and use cookie cutters in different shapes and designs that you can buy in the supermarket or Target, etc. Pretend you are making the sandwiches for yourself or invite a playmate over and let both kids help you make the sandwiches and cut them out, but do not suggest that your son eat one. Just thank him for helping and sit next to him as he eats his limited menu and you and the playmate eat the cut out sandwiches. Of course, pick a playmate for this particular project who is not a finicky eater.

Good luck, Grandma from Westchester

I also have a 4 year old and I found that having her help cook the food makes her want to try it more. She's actually taking a cooking class at her daycare and has tried everything they made. It's helped a lot and gives us a chance to spend more time together. Good Luck!!

I feel as though you just described my own child to me! We used to follow him around with food trying to get him to eat anything that we would allow us to put into his mouth...and his diet was about as limited as what you describe as above. I used to hide a lot of foods in with what he would eat - as long as it didn't LOOK any different he wouldn't turn off to it right away. sometimes he would find that he would actually like the foods better. For example, I added mashed bananas to pancakes - makes them very sweet and you can't see that they are there. (Unlike blueberries or strawberries - to him the visible fruit was an instant turn off) I gave him a lot of pizza and loaded up with cheese or whatever he would eat. Fortunately he would eat pepperoni, so I added a double dose of pepperoni just to get protein into him.
I learned also, that you can't force the child to eat and I stopped making 4 meals hoping that he would eat one. And if he didn't want to eat the one meal that I made - well, that was it for the night! eventually he got hungry enough to eat. the kids learned that mealtime is mealtime, so you better eat now because the kitchen will be closed later! I also went a little lighter at snack time so that he might actually be hungry enough at mealtime to eat. i still haven't completely figured all this out - 12 years later -
my children are still notoriously terrible eaters. they have learned healthier eating habits and have slowly opened their minds to trying new things. change comes slowly. be patient, be persistent and keep trying! let me know if you discover the magic pill!

Hi J.;

The best advice I can give is invite your child's friends over around a meal time and let him see the other kids eating different foods. When kids all eat the same they are encouraged by each other. Also, if your child is liking bread products, pancakes and breads..try healthier versions and add something to them. Never give up! Always offer healthy choices...eventually he has to eat them.

Speaking as a former VERY fussy eater-I ate nothing but hot dogs and french fries, or at school, peanut butter sandwiches and chips, for lunch and dinner for years-DO NOT pressure your child to eat something he doesn't want to eat. My parents tried that repeatedly, including threats of daily trips to the doctor for vitamin shots, but it never worked. Even if I did try something willingly, it literally came right back up. I would literally not eat unless it was something I liked.

I had to really *want* to try something, and it was my grandmother who recognized that and got me started-she'd take me out to dinner (which was a big treat for me), and offer me bites from her plate if I looked interested, saying that she understood if I didn't like it. Now I eat almost everything (I still don't like some cooked veggies)...and I blame it for my weight gain over the years. ;o) Your son *will* be interested in other foods-he just has to be really interested to try something.

There is a cook book out by "Seinfelds" wife. (don't rememeber her name) that gives recipes on how to "hide" veggies in food. You can puree veggies and add them to your pancakes.

Hi, I have two boys, 4 and 7 and they both eat terrible! I also cannot get them to try new foods, so don't feel bad, I think kids have to want to try them when they are ready. My 7 year old lives on carbs and my 4 year old lives on Pedisure, mac and cheese and chicken nuggets from McDonalds. Of course they love their junk food too, but I feel good about the pedisure, because he is getting all his vitamins and protein that is needed, so maybe try that with him? He is at 90 percentile of his weight, so the Dr. says he is good. When they are ready, hopefully their eating habits will change, but I hear alot of moms are in the same boat.

Hello,
Wow I can't believe it. I too have a four year old and his eating habits are awful. He has his favorite foods like you mentioned pizza, french fries, and potatoe chips. HE ha never has any type of fruit or vegetable. He would not dare even put them in his mouth so I feel your pain, I know exactly what you are going through. Good luck.

Take care
Nora

I have a three year old and all she used to eat were chicken nuggets. Even ofr breakfast. She outgrew it a little. She will eat rice, potatoes, pizza, pancakes,yogurt and finally this month real chicken. The more you fight them the more they dig their heels in. I used to try dozens of foods and Savannah would cover her mouth too. My pediatrician said they outgrow and just to give her a good multivitamin and get creative. They get plenty of protein from milk,beans and if you can get him to eat yogurt or ice cream. Slip mashed banana or applesauce in his pancakes. Will he eat banana bread? You can substitute oil in recipes with the same amount of applesauce. Will he eat any toppings on his pizza? If he drinks fruit juice and milk(even flavored milk) it all adds to healthier diets than we realize. If he drinks juice try the V8 splash that they sneak carrots and stuff in. Savannah never knew the difference. Maybe he will drink yogurt smoothies and you could sneak fruit in there. I found in our case that the less attention we gave her diet the better she got. I would say do you want to try this and she would generally say no. and that was it. As they get older they want to be like their friends and they are more likely to eat what their peer group likes. At our house the biggest meltdowns came from trying to make her taste something. She is finally at the stage where we can tell her if she tries a bite she can have snack later and she usually tries it and says yuck. She did discover she loves alfredo noodles this way. Just know that you are not alone and no parent has perfect kids. They all have issues whether with food, bedtime, potty training, etc. Good Luck. M.