Hello
I hope someone has some ideas for me - every night is a problem. My 4 year old son will not go to sleep in his bed. We have tried reading him books in his bed and then sitting with him until he falls asleep and calling it quiet time. We have sat outside his room, I have sat outside on the couch and watched a movie and keep telling him I was there. He has a night light and we use monster spray at night to keep the monsters away - he just doesnt want to be alone. His 2 year old sister is no problem. If we leave him in his bed he screams and wakes up the whole house.
Every night it takes hours for him to go to bed - we have a strict routine. Its read me a book then read me another then dont leave.
I am a stay at home mom and I can not get 5 minutes alone - and now it stresses me out that I cant even have the night to be alone.
We tried to put a blow up mattress on our floor but he wants me to sleep in it with him. I cant even go to me room and watch tv as he wants to come with me.
The problem is now he fights us from 8 until like 10 pm when he finally gets so tired - I dont think this is healthy and I dont think he is getting enough sleep.
If anyone has any ideas please let me know...
I think one problem is our bedroom is upstairs and the childrens are downstairs...
Tell him he has to stay in bed or in his room. He can sing, talk but he cannot get out. Every time he gets the extra book/drink of water etc is a reinforcement that he can continue to delay sleep. For every "good" night, give him a sticker and after so many, he gets a prize
Consistency will pay off andf this too shall pass.
Good luck
C.,
I had been experiencing a similar thing with my 4 year old. He refused to sleep in his bed, and ultimately, we let him sleep with us, which had been going on for way too long.
I had read a book by Elizabeth Pantley, and in rereading a specific section, she mentioned something called the "Morning Fairy". You can revise it in whatever way to meet your needs. One night, he asked to go to sleep in our bed and I told him that I had spoken to someone named the Morning Fairy, indicating that she would leave a present (a small one, like a Match Box car) if he could sleep in his bed and stay there. Right away, he jumped out of our bed and went into his room and fell asleep in his bed and stayed there. Any night that he was a little scared to sleep in his room, we just gently reminded him about the MF, and that was all we needed to do.
After about a month, we gradually weaned him off of this, though as an incentive, the MF makes surprise visits now and then. I had resisted giving prizes for rewards, but the power of them was quite amazing.
Just an idea. I know it worked wonders with my son.
C.
C. -
Hi. We are having the same issues, except in our case it is our 3 1/2 year old daughter... We also have tried everything... even letting her cry... which was the worst. she cried for hours and never fell asleep. I will be fine ALL day long with them, but when it comes to bed time... i am physically and emotionally spent, and i lose my patience easily. I know it is my fault for always letting her in my bed, but i was working full time, and i needed my sleep, so we gave in. Now we have another 1 yr old lil girl, and although she will fall asleep on my bed, she will sleep basically the entire night in her crib once i put her in there... the other night, after an hour of trying to get both girls to sleep, i put them both in their room( they share a room ) and started cleaning their closet.... another hour passed and neither of them was asleep (and i was basically in the dark cleaning...making hardly any noise) i dont know what else to do... so if you end up getting any good advise, PLEASE share! But i just wnated you to know you arent alone.
#1 cut out naps if you think he can handle it- getting them tired through out the day helps
#2 Keep trying and don't give up- consistancy pays off!
#3 flash light or some other sorce of light that he can control- I found that the night light wasn't enough for my daughter. Fisher Price makes a flashlight that turns off when the button is not being held down and the batteries last forever
My daughter went through this phase for quite sometime. I found that consistency paid off. Even if it meant having her up until 10pm and constantly putting her back in her bed. However, once you start dont stop!!! Her dad allowed her to sleep in his bed and it started all over again. Hang in there!!!
Hi C..
I too feel your pain. I am a SAHM who works from home. I have a 3-1/2 year old son and 2 year old daughter. I too am not sleeping. Monster spray did not work for me. He sleeps with 2 night lights and a flash light, a blankie, and a stuffed animal. He even shares a room with his sister and is still scared. AGHHH!
However within the last few days I've had some luck with telling him that if he doesn't sleep in his Big Boy bed, Santa might get confused and think he's a baby, and bring him baby toys by mistake! This works for going to bed, however he still gets up at night and comes in because he's scared. All the Halloween decorations everywhere are making it worse. He has a doctor's appt. today and I am going to ask for other ideas. I'll get back to you.
Good luck,
A.
I can empathize, because I am a stay at home mom and I need that time at night when they go to bed. Has he ever gone to bed well, or is this a new problem? Sometimes kids that age have control issues, and the more you play into them the worse it is. I think you are going to have to spend a week trying to break him of this, and you're probably going to have to get pretty tough. You have to just read him his one story and then leave. He will probably scream for hours the first night, so you'll have to adjust with your two year old. Think about it though, even if it disrupts your house for a few nights, even a week, isn't it worth it in the long run for everyone? I bet after a few nights of sticking it out and not giving in, things will change. Once you start giving in to them, they know they have you. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I have been there, and all I can say is be tough. Good luck!
thats a hard one. what about a warm bath before bed? does he get overstimumlated at night at all? Sounds like he is having separation anxiety and some nighttime fears. but he finally goes at 10pm? How does he sleep the rest of the night? does he nap?
Hi C.!
I had the same problem with my four year old last year. I agree with the mom who said lay down with him then say you have to leave to go to the bathroom or you forgot to kiss daddy goodnight, etc...then leave, come back right away, then gradually increase the time it takes you to come back. I orginally read this advice in Dr. Karps book "The Happiest Todddler on the Block" and it does work. Hang in there...
You may have already tried this but it worked for me when my son was 4 and would only sleep if I had my arm wrapped around him :).
Now he is the best sleeper in the house! I would lay down with him until he was relaxed and then I would say oh I have to go to the bathroom ( or some other excuse) I will be back in a minute. The first couple nights go back right away and eventually take a little longer to go back. It did take a while but eventually my son fell asleep waiting for me and we did it without the stress and crying. good luck! I feel your pain :)
I had the same problem with my boyfriend's daughter. We have tried everything. Finally, we put Christmas lights in her room and that seemed to help her out. It gives her a more festive night light. Unfortunately she still fights it at times, all I can say is to hang in there and things will get easier.
Hi,
I have no ideas but I wanted to let you know that I am in the same boat as you. Really!!!
My son will be 4 the end of the month and it takes a long time for him to fall asleep. I did try something and it worked a couple of time is give him a small pocket radio and tell him that he can listen to it until he falls asleep. It only worked acouple of times for me.
Do you live in the Brighton area? If so, maybe we could have the kids meet...or maybe us....I am sleep deprived as well. I just had a baby 5 weeks ago so I really dont sleep.
Best of luck.
L.
