Getting My 17.5 Year Old to Finish School

I have an 18 YO senior this year. He has never been into school that much...but somehow we I believe will make it though...so I get your frustration.
About the meds...I agree...especially with bipolar - not taking meds is a tragedy waiting to happen. I am NOT a believer in medication for the most part...but those that need it..NEED it. A freind of my YDD's committed suicide last year (was bipolar...didn't want to take meds...so he didn't and the world crashed around him)
As far as military...my DH and my DS are both in it (DS joined as a split enlistment) and I'm not sure they would take him with his diagnosis. It also takes lots of disipline, and if he gets depressed...well lets say many that DS went though bootcamp with did NOT graduate.
My DS joined PTNG....and is planning on college this fall...however his second part of training AIT is now moved to the point where he will not be able to start college this fall.
Barb

I have to agree that he's probably not old enough to decide about his meds. As a nurse, you are perfectly qualified to help him adjust them though - work with his Dr. or go see a different Dr. to get him into just the right dose. Now is when he needs to learn to do these things for himself if he's planning on being out on his own anytime in the near future!

And there's nothing wrong with taking your GED. I was actually homeschooled and went to college young. It was great for me. Maybe you work out a deal with him that he can take the GED but then he has to immediately enroll in college courses? Let him get a job, on campus or nearby, and keep close tabs on him. He wouldn't have to drive (I didn't) and you can still set rules about leaving campus with friends, etc. The environment of personal responsibility might suit him better. Though - they aren't going to hold his hand in college like they have in H.S.! You don't do the work, no one calls you, you just fail. It's a hard lesson, but a real life lesson.

I would encourage him to also be a part of something physical that involves discipline. Consider a martial art - it did WONDERS for my brother at 17. He's now a black belt and running the place! And all that training is only going to make him look better when he goes to persue the military/police career of his dreams!

There are lots of routes you can take with this - just keep thinking how you can love him into adulthood. Keep the end-game in mind: You want him to be a man, a husband, a father... How do you best prepare him for that...?

J.--it is very possible that your son is gifted but also has a learning disability; LD frequently occurs with a diagnosis of ADD/ADHD. My son, who is now 21, has ADD/ADHD as a portion of his diagnosis, was gifted in math and science, but really struggled in English and Social Studies. At age 13 he was tested and found to have an additional DX of dysgraphia. I would encourage you to talk to two organizations; The first would be Kansas Families Together, the educational advocacy organization that serves KS. You can find them on the web at www.familiestogetherinc.org. The other program I would suggest would be out of KU Med Center and it is called the Kansas Neurological Disabilities Support Project. It works with your son, your family, and the school to help the instructors with helping him learn according to his learning style. They can be found on the web at http://ksndsp.org Also, I work for the MO Developmental Disabilities Resource Center at UMKC--I would be happy to share info with you about various Learning disabilities, such as dyslexia, dysgraphia and dyscalculia--you can reach me at ###-###-#### or ____@____.com this helps--J. A. Hatfield-Reed, I&R Specialist, MODDRC, Institute for Human Development, UMKC

I have worked as a volunteer tutor for people studying for their GED for many years and it is not an easy road. Unless your son has the basic skills already and is a good test-taker, it may be easier to stay with the school programs. I have worked with one student before, so if he could get that, it may make the GED option easier. Otherwise you need to be disciplined to sit down and review the materials and take tests prior to being referred for the GED.

If he doesn't have an IEP, call a counselor and ask to set up a meeting with his teachers. Get some insight and ideas from them and see what you can do at home to help him, and what extra steps they are able to take to help him when needed. As a teacher myself, I imagine he has homework he is not bringing home they may be able to clue you in on.

I would not allow him to take his GED until you have exhausted all your resources. He is too close to finishing. Many kids are held back at some point, or start school at 6 and will be close to 19 as well.

Even though you're a nurse and want to respect his wishes, clearly not taking his medication is whats causing the problem. (Maybe not fully causing it, but definitely adding to it.) As his mother it's your duty to make the calls that he's too immature to make. He may be 17.5, but 17.5 is just a number, there is a lot that goes into making a person the maturity of a 17.5 year old. My sister is 17 and seems like she's going on 25. He's proven to you that he's not capable of making these life altering decisions, it's probably just too much for him to handle. You need to step up and be his Mom, make him take the medication and sit down with him each and every night until the work is done.

And the military isn't an easy out. Does he know that they test your intelligence, reading, math, etc. skills? And I'm also pretty sure they won't allow him to come in with diagnosed depression. Giving a gun to someone with that sounds like a disaster waiting to happen, don't you think? Call me crazy, but a week or two in boot camp and he'd be begging to go back to high school. (My husband was in the Marines.)

Sorry if I'm coming across as harsh. I'm not trying to be. I just have a firm belief of our job as mothers.