Getting Husband to Understand About 4 Year Old Getting Ear Tubes

Updated on March 18, 2008
A.C. asks from Silver Spring, MD
11 answers

My dd who is 4 has had several ear infections over 2 years and I've had 2 doctors say that she is a high candidate for ear tubes being put in. My husband is VERY against it since he does not feel that "cutting into someone" is the right thing to do. He also is very into naturalpathic methods to deal with illnesses. I've tried to get him to read about the surgery and he says he will. But hasn't yet(to his defense, it was yesterday). Is there another way for the ear fluid to drain out that others know about or another way to stop her from getting so many ear infections? Is there another option than putting the ear tubes in? I am really moving toward this option because she's had so many infections and I'm not a big fan of always dealing with antibiotics myself. Any help appreciated.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Alsion:

Good morning! If your daughter has been suffering Otitis Media (ear infections) this surgery is VERY simple - literally lasting 8 minutes. If this is not done there is a risk your child will suffer hearing loss and other problems (loss of balance, etc). The tubes will release the pressure that is built up from her ear which can get filled with air.

Your husband is worried about cutting - he should be worried about hearing loss - with both of you in music, he should understand the importance of hearing. Neither you or your husband will see any cuts on your daughter. This will all be done in the ear canal. The tubes will acutally fall out on their own. There are times they have to be removed, but it's not a common occurence.

These tubes will allow your daughters ear drum and canal to heal. My son had them put in at one year and he was a changed baby! He went from a boy who could NOT sleep lying down to a baby who FINALLY slept the night through. He went from a crank-monster (because his head and ears HURT!!) to a VERY happy baby. He hasn't had an ear infection since and he is now almost six years old.

I can't tell you how HAPPY I am that he got tubes in his ears. It made all the difference in the world!

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S.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi A.,

My oldest child also had recurrent ear infections and we took the tubes route because I was really concerned about the amount of antibiotics he was taking. It was a very quick procedure (he actually had it done again when he was 5 including having the adenoids removed). It was night and day. I think he got maybe three ear infections after the procedure total (usually in the summer after long periods of swimming) and those infections only required antibiotic ear drops. Another thing to consider is for our son the infections began to effect his hearing which I felt held him back a bit during his pre-k year in school when the introduction to reading began. Anyway, he is fine today. The scariest part is when they wake up and are frightened but an hour after the surgery it was as if it hadn't happened at all, minus being a little groggy.

Good luck!

S.

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J.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi A.,

I am a mother of 3 children, 19 yrs, 17yrs and 15yrs.
My 17yr old had ear problems. Antibiotics at age 6 weeks old ! Double ear infections at 2 yrs old. She was on antibiotics twice a month for a long time because she had so many infections.We were then sent to a consultant.

Our consultant in the UK didn't rush to operate because when you put ear tubes in at a young age they often have to be done again and he was worried about scarring. She did have a perforated ear drum and that has led to some scarring.

At 3 1/2 they decided to just drain her ears and not put tubes in to see if that would help. Plus her adenoids were taken out as they were not good and probably caused lots of problems.

When she came out of hospital she did have an ear infection, so more antibiotics. She was monitored by the consultant and didn't have to have ear tubes.

Would you consider just having the ears drained to see if that would help.

also a client of mine gave me a name of a doctor who is a traditional doctor plus a holistic doctor. His wife is a doctor and is just holistic - if you would like I can give you the number. They have an office in sterling.

Good luck.

J.

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S.L.

answers from Washington DC on

My son has ear tubes and got them at 15 months I think. The surgery only lasts about 15-20 minutes tops and he was a little cranky that day and slept a lot but other than that he was fine.

The alternative is multiple ear infections, it affects their hearing so they cannot hear as well, talk louder and can affect their speach, in some cases it can affect their hearing long term and numerous antibiotics which are just not good for you. Have him call the doctor and get all of his questions answered and have them explain why it is important.

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K.R.

answers from Washington DC on

My 2 1/2 year old son just got ear tubes about 3 weeks ago and it was such an easy surgery. He's been through surgeries before, though, so we weren't as nervous as we would have been had it been his first surgery. The tubes have done wonders for his hearing and speech and he now tells us the volume we had things on for him is too loud. He is singing songs now and repeating so much more. I never knew how much he was not hearing. Your daughters situation might be a little different, but if you've had two doctors tell you they think she needs ear tubes, I would do it. It's much more common than I thought and will make your daughter feel better. Maybe print out some information for your husband and give it to him at the dinner table.

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

A.

The responses you've received already have raised a lot of "pro's" for tubes (if sucessful, less antibiotics; prevent hearing and speech problem, etc.). If your child has severe problems, it's possible the ear drum will burst from infection anyhow (which is much worse than the small performation from tubes).

My daughter had chronic problems starting at age 18 months. The initial set of tubes, I admit, was only helpful while the tubes were in place. Once they fell out, the infections continued. The second set of tubes was accompanied by adenoid removal -- she did not have another ear infection until this year (age 7) and did not have one infection after the other like she used to -- one course of antibiotics knocked it out.

I had terrible infections throughout my childhood as well and know what the pain, disorientation and hearing loss can be like. The fact that my daughter had to be put to sleep made me more uncomfortable than the actual surgery. Based on my daughter's experience, I highly recommend tubes - even if you have to do it twice. That having been said, I have heard that in some countries it is the practice to see an acupunturist and/or a chiropractor. Maybe something to look into.

CW

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C.C.

answers from Washington DC on

There IS no other way for the fluid to drain out. In young children the eustachian (sp?) tubes don't slope down enough into the throat. The alternative is: allowing the eardrum to burst! It can happen!

Having fluid-filled ears can affect hearing, and repeated infections can cause permanent damage.

I had many problems with fluid buildup/infections as a young child, and feel fortunate that (knock on wood) my daughter has thus far avoided the same fate.

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S.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Our 2 year old had tubes put in on Jan. 2 of this year. We too were reticent to take this step-- anxiety about anesthetization was our main concern. That said, her quality of life was becoming marked by pain, lack of sleep, etc. We had to put our fears aside and focus on what was going to make her happier, i.e.: rest, pain-free existence. Another thing that tipped the scales in favor of the surgery was that our specialist pointed out the dangers of having fluid in the ears for extended periods of time: meningitis, hearing loss, balance issues.

Finally, the surgery began and ended in less than 15 minutes so that was truly the easy part!

Good luck with your decision making.

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R.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I have no experience, but today's Washington Post Health section has an article entitled "Getting Around to Ear Tubes" in case you haven't seen it yet.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Constant antibiotics isn't good for her, either.

I haven't had any direct experience with tubes, but a friend got tubes in her daughter's ears when the kid was 6 or so and the first thing the child said was "I can HEAR!" - meaning she could hear all the little things (whispers, birds, soft music) she'd missed before. Maybe he needs to talk to other parents who have had it done and realize that it's not that your doctor is looking to slice and dice your child, but that this could really be a quality of life change for her.

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