Get the Baby Out of My Bed

I can't help you there....we did this with my daughter, and she is still sleeping with us at 19 months!! She is exactly the same way, won't even nap if I am not holding her. Actually she is getting better about napping on her own, but refuses to sleep in her crib. Good luck, let me know if you find something that works.

I have a four year old little boy. When he was a baby I would nurse him in bed as well. I didn't have (luckily) any problems though with him transitioning to his own bed. What I would do with him when he started sleeping in his own room (can't even remember already EXACTLY when that was) was to get a black out curtain and close it up all the way as well as the door to his room. He always slept really good as long as the room was real dark. He's gotten to where he sleeps good even with some light now but it still stays relativly dark. Some kids are more sensative to light, or DARK. Another thing though when he was REAL little, about 6 months> was for a few months or so he would need the vaccum on durring the day when it was time to take his nap. One of those strange but true things. I still think that was kind of weird. Whatever YOU think YOU would WANT to do and be ABLE to do EVERY day is what I think you should do. I think right now (both as a mom and as somebody who has worked in child care for over 10 years) what you need to have for her is a good schedule. It will be hard at first but no matter what try to stick to it. She will get used to the routine and it will get easier. Down the road you'll be able to try changing things a little at a time to see what works for her (and you). The biggest thing is for you to be consistant. Even though she is so small they pick up on things as babies. How do you think we know when they are wet or poopy (besides the finger check, lol)? They figure out that they feel yucky, they cry, they don't feel yucky anymore. Same with feeding, same with sleeping and getting mommy's attention. She learns that if she's not comfortable or she just wants you, she cry's you come. Try letting her cyr it out. It'll be hard, she'll go on for what will seem like forever but she will learn to self console in time. My little boy did try that for a short time but it didnt take long for him to figure out I wasn't going to, or be able to, run at every whimper or outburst. Whether it is going to bed, or getting his way about something else. Again, I think you need to do what's best for you and your family. Choose something, stick to it and make sure it's consistant. With you as well as anybody taking care of her to make it at least a little easier. Consistancy is key! Hope I could be of some help. :)

I was lucky and didn't really have this problem but the reason I didn't was because I went back to work when my daughter was 2 mths old. But what we did do to keep her out of the bed was have a bassinet that was low enough to get her out of quickly to bf at night and she slept right next to the bed in it.(Granted after bf I usually ended up asleep and keeping her in the bed)And after I went back to work my husband would just put her down in her crib for naps and sleep time (I work at night so she's not in daycare)I'd bf when I got home and she'd be fine the rest of the night. Your daughter shouldn't be too big for a bassinet yet so you may want to try that for a little bit so you're still nearby but not in the same bed and see how that works and move on from there. Hope this helps.
Also, in your about me you ask if she's a little young for a play date, I don't think so, that's about the time I started mine in play group at Gymboree.
Btw she did eat when I wasn't home, I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea about that.

i have one book for you. THE NO CRY SLEEP SOLUTION. it is wonderful. my son coslept with me as well up until he was 10-11 months old when he went to his own bed on his own terms. where he sleeps every night all night. he was takign naps in his crib from 3 months. now i wasn't able to bf, due to lack of supply, but still i feel your pain. the book gives you tips on how to get them to sleep longer.
Are you opposed to a paci? if not, give her a paci after you remove the boob. Also, if she doesn't have one yet, get her a lovelie. something she can snuggle up with that smells like you and her. use this when ever you put her down at naps or at night. never allow her to play with it during the day time though, at least until she gets use to sleeping with it. You will basically be giving her a new sleep associoation then you and your boob.

I tried the CIO thing, not once but twice and met with failure each time. i'm sorry, no offense to mother's who do use CIO. But to me, IMO that is the hardest way to teach a young baby to sleep on their own. what is the child learning really , except that when they are in teh crib htey have to scream to comfort themselves. I hope i havent' offended anyone, ibut i personally don't believe in CIO. specially if a baby doesn't respond well to it, by going to sleep after a few minutes of whining.
Now i did practice the whine it out. if he was just whining, i left him in his crib. the moment he started crying though i went and got him and comfort him.

it can be done, and it can be done without tears. your baby's or your's . get the book. it's by Elizabeth Pantely. it is a true miracle.
hth
B.

I had a lot of trouble with Lily from when I brought her home up until she was about 6 weeks old. I never let her sleep in my bed, but the first few weeks I slept on the floor in her room or I sat in my rocking chair while she laid in the crib. As long as she knew I was there, she would be okay and fall asleep. Then I would creep ever so quietly out of her room. She also was a pacifier baby. If she ever woke up, it was usually b/c her pacifier fell out of her mouth. I would go back in her room saying nothing and pop the thing back into her mouth. She would settle right back to sleep. She was probably about four months old before I could just put her down and leave the room. She doesn't use a nightlight. I play music, too. Oh, and when I would sit in her room, I would sit in a way so she couldn't see me. Hope that helps. It may take a while, but it is so worth it. Lily has slept 12 hours every night ever since she was four months old.

I had my baby sleep in his crib next to my bed for the first year of his life. After that we tried putting him in his own room but he had gotten used to waking up and seeing us near him. Well after 2 month of having to get out bed and got to his room to calm him down in the middle of the nite, we actually put him back in our room. I figure we didn't have it so bad cause we still had the bed to ourselves. I guess we'll try again when he turns 3yrs old and understands more. My advice is to Keep trying having her sleep by herself, preferably in her own room. The sooner you try this, the more efficient it will be. I have friends whose baby slept in there own room after only 4 weeks and even though it took alot of getting up in the middle of the nite, it was worth it cause they're son got used to sleeping by himself and they never had a problem after he got older. the sooner you get them into a routine that you like, the sooner they'll get used to it. If nothing works do what i did, and put the crib right next to your bed and see if it helps. hope this helps.

I have a 3 yrold son and and 1 yrold and they're BOTH in bed with me. I didn't intend for this ever to happen - they have a very nice crib. It started with my son, I was getting run down and sick from lack of sleep so I started nursing him in bed with me and it was SOOOOO much easier. We both got sleep. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I did buy him a toddler mattress, we made him his own bed next to ours, and the first day he was really really excited to sleep in it, but he wanted me to sleep with him too on it. Oh Boy.. So we would let him fall asleep with us in our bed, then move him to his bed. He would eventually wake up and climb into our bed, I'm sure after some time, he'd eventually stay in his bed. However - one night I told my husband to move him and he said noooo he's too little I want him to stay. I said okay but your asking for it. I can't get him to transition if we're not BOTH consistant, so I didn't argue... and now we have 2 in the bed and he sleeps in the other room! I'm planning on buying my son his own captain's bed soon and moving him into his own room. If you find something that works - PLEASE let me know - I'm going to check out that book recommeded... and if you ever what to get out of the house - give me a shout! Even if you think she's too young - not for walking the mall or just sitting in the park!! A.

I had my daughter in our bed until she was 6 mths old. Everyone told me the horror stories about how hard it would be transition her etc but I ignored them for the same reason you do..it is much easier to nurse while you are laying down so you can get more sleep. The day my daughter turned 6 mths old I gave her solid foods for the first time, kept our night time routine the same (nursed before bed etc) and put her in her playpen at the end of our bed. She slept for the first through the whole night without any problems. She of course was still in our room but out of our bed. When she turned 10 mths we moved the playpen to her room without any problems then finally at 15 mths we moved her into her crib. The transition for us was so long because I just didn't see the need in changing things when she was sleeping so good in her playpen. We had no problems with the transition and everyone was totally wrong she didn't throw any fits or anything. Of course until she was a 1 year old she would still fall asleep nursing and then we finally got her to fall asleep on her own. We do have bad nights and good nights. Sometimes she will cry until you walk out of the room other days it takes us longer to get her sleep and some days she will play and fall asleep on her own. Right now we are dealing with separation anxiety. As for your situation, try moving her into a playpen at the end of your bed and see if that works. You might want to wait until she is 6 mths old and eating solids so you don't have to worry about nursing at night. As for play dates she is too young to play with other kids but children like to see other kids, so she might enjoy watching other children and she might learn how to walk or crawl sooner if the other kids are at that stage. I would just make sure the group consists of children close to your daughters age.

I ahd this problem with my first child. I learned reallll quick with the second. I'd really try just letting her scream it out, as horrible as it is....it's WORSE when you can't have your own bed to yourself.

I work, so I have found it easier to breastfeed at night with the baby in my bed. With my first 2, I moved each of them out of my bed around 14-15 months. I did it gradually, with never more than a few seconds of crying. For couple nights, I would lay down with them, nurse to sleep. Then for a couple night, I would nurse then sit up while they were awake, then leave after they were asleep. I got to where I could nurse, then have them lay down and I'd leave and come back in a few minutes then leave again.

I found this article helpful http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp , but like i said, I never let mine cry more than a few seconds, and I waited until after a year. By then, they did not need to nurse at night and we had built a relationship with trust and security, so it was not scary for them to be alone at night.