Gentle Night Weaning Advice for My 16 Month Old

Have you ever thought of pumping and start giving her a bottle? Or even replacing breast feeding at night with a bottle of 1/2 juice 1/2 water?

Good morning,

Here's my story...........

My daughter nursed until 16 months....she would wake in her crib around 5:00 am and I'd take her into my bed (she had co-slept with us until 12 months) and nurse her back to sleep and we'd both sleep til her 3 year old brother woke us up. But when she was 16 months, she had weaned herself from nursing during the day, and I thought that maybe it was just the closeness she was craving at night. So one early morning, when she woke, I took her into my bed, and she snuggled down to nurse, but I didn't move my shirt out of the way. She fussed a bit, and tried to nurse again, but I still wouldn't let her. So she wimpered a little, and I talked softly to her, telling her she didn't need that, and mama was right there, and just held her close to me, and she calmed down after about three minutes and went back to sleep. We went through it again the next morning, same thing. But the third morning, she just came into my bed, snuggled up and went right back to sleep. (and of course, then I cried, because I knew it was over, and she was my last.)

But that's how I handled it. Best of luck to you. It's never easy, is it?

Blessings, J.

I don't believe in letting a baby cry it out either. So I got the book: "Healthy sleep habits, healthy child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth and I really like it so far and would recommend it.
I think you'll have to figure out if she is hungry and wants to nurse or if it is for comfort. If she is hungry, try to give her a snack right before going to bed and see if that helps. If it's comfort nursing, see if you can find something that would help soothe her. (Trying to redirect works really well - of course it doesn't work when the baby is all worked up). My friend had a great idea in trying to help her son soothe himself to sleep. Every time he cried during the day, she would put this really soft blanket on her shoulders and then take him in her arms and comfort him. Soon he associated that blanket w/comfort and now he uses it to go back to sleep at night or when he is tired, he wants his blanket to go to sleep. I did a similar thing w/my son and a plush animal. Will your daughter take a bottle? I have read that you can start to dilute the milk w/water (if you give a bottle) and dilute it a little more every other day until it's just water and some kids won't be interested in it anymore during the night. Weaning is tough. My thoughts are with you.

First, I nursed all the way through pregnancy and am still tandem nursing, so if you have any questions, feel free to PM me for info.
Second, I don't let my children CIO either, so don't let people tell you it's "good for them" or the only way. Look in to the book "No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers" it's newer and more relevant than the original one for babies.
Third, I'd try having your husband go in for 10-15 minutes first to try and calm her. She's just getting mad because you are there and not nursing her. You said he's unsympathetic, so maybe he's telling you that it's your job to take care of it since he has to work in the morning. Remind him that you have to work longer days than he does and you are pregnant on top of it. Raising children is a cooperative endeavor, he needs to put in his time as well.
Good Luck!

pump your breasts put it in a bottle and store it in the fridge or freezer for her.give it to her.than give her an everyday cup to play with break her soon to a cup

I night-weaned my son at 14 months and I used the _No-Cry Sleep Solution_ by Elizabeth Pantley. Very gentle, at-your-own-pace approach. Unfortunately, there were still tears, but definitely not in a cry-it-out way - my son's just very stubborn! But I was always right there for him, which I felt good about, and after a couple of hard nights (after a couple of hard weeks of explaining and alternate soothing), he got the idea.

For yourself, to help with your energy, you might try having a protein shake right before bed (unless you have heartburn - then liquids right before bed will just hurry right back up your esophagus! LOL). If you do dairy, try milk, a little juice to sweeten it, protein powder, maybe some yogurt, and a handful of oatmeal. It'll give you a nighttime boost and the oatmeal will help it burn more slowly and last longer. Take care and good luck!

I would call and talk to a lactation consultant at the Elizabeth Blackwell Center in Columbus: ###-###-####. These ladies are so helpful! Also try to find a LLL meeting in your area to get ideas from other mothers who have gone through this. Having the support is really important. Good luck, and I hope you get some rest! You really need your husband's support and understanding, too, so make sure he takes over so you can get some naps. Communicate your needs very clearly. Just being pregnant is exhausting enough, and you are caring for a nursing toddler as well. Blessings, R.

I have gone thru this exactly. My oldest was 15 months old when I was pregnant and still nursing once at night. I don't believe in the barbaric practice of letting them cry either. What I did was bring in a sippy cup of milk for her and she resisted the first night and it was hard because she didn't know why I was rejecting her all of a sudden. She cried in my arms for a little while and I softly explained to her that she could have some milk from the cup. The second night she cried for 5 minutes then drank the milk and went to sleep. The third night she slept all the way through. It wasn't the most pleasant experience and if I had it to do over I would have continued to nurse her throughout the pregnancy and let her wean herself, which they will and you can nurse through a pregnancy provided you are low risk and eating very well. I hope this works for you. By the way, I was well into my second trimester when I did this so dont feel you have to get her weaned in three days. If it takes a little while that's ok too! Good luck!

I have not completely night weaned yet, but I did get some good tips from the No Cry Sleep Solution book. Basically, you let them nurse a bit, then slip your finger in and take them off. If they want back on, you let them nurse a bit, then do it again. There's no crying involved. I added my own touch, where I say "Time to go to sleep. 3, 2, 1." Before I take him off. I think giving him warning prepares him, and he often will take himself off and roll over and go to sleep on his own while I'm still counting down. I use the countdown with other stuff too, like turning off the faucet and leaving his toys, and he seems to be able to let go of things pretty well that way!

Hope that helps.

Have you tried giving her a bottle instead of giving her a breast? Just a thought. I would try it. Does she drink other types of liquid? If so then use them instead of breast milk.

I remember nursing while pregnant- it was exhausting! I feel for you. Is she nursing several times a night or just once? I think you are on the right track. i think you'll pretty much have to do what you would have to do during the day. Just drop the feeding and offer other kids of comfort. I remember walking, rcoking and singing myself silly, but I also remember thinking "That wasn't as bad as I thought." We were a little different, though, in that the night feeding was the last feeding left. We are going to have to come up with a plan to get my 8 month old to sleep all night, too. It is so difficult to know what to do. Your instincts will guide you, but she might not be happy. She won't feel abandonned because you will still be holding her and helping her adjust, but she might be ticked off because she wants things the way she wants them. Be strong and remember that a well-rested mommy is a happier mommy, and every baby deserves a happy mommy! Best of luck to you.

I would be cautious about offering a bottle instead of the breast. If she doesn't do bottles now, then it will just be another thing she will have to be weaned from! Plus it doesn't solve her waking issue - you'll have to prepare the bottle and be up instead of just dozing while she is at the breast. Anyway, the general rule for weaning at this point is "don't offer, don't refuse". If she isn't asking for the breast, don't nurse at regular feeds - let them pass and entertain her with new activities (books, playdoh, puzzles) to still ensure spending time with her, but just not at the breast. But if she does ask, allow her at the breast, but cut down the amount of time she stays there at the feed.

That said, nighttime is usually the hardest to cut out. It is not unusual for them to want to hang on to that one the longest. If you are able to drop the number of daytime feeds, and only have the nighttime one, that may help you feel less drained. Right now, if getting your sleep is the biggest goal, I would really focus on reducing the daytime feeds (if there are any) and let her have the night one - at least you can doze while you nurse, and if it calms her more quickly and she goes to sleep more quickly, you can return to sleep more quickly too. She will eventually drop that nursing, and you can work on it gradually. If she does wake, give her a chance to go back to sleep before offering the breast.

Hope that helps - I remember the same issues with my kiddos - it does get better, I promise! Hang in there!