General Birthday Party Questions

1. I started throwing a family party & then a friend party when my oldest started Kindergarten. I will ask him who he wants to invite and we make the invitations and he gives them to the kid. For the family one it's just close family that we see a lot.

2. I give my kids $15-20 to spend on a friend's birthday gift. No matter where the party is held at.

Our daughter's last birthday (she turned 3) cost us $800 to go to one of those jumpy house places, after the cost, food, and tip.

We never give gifts to our children on their birthdays...the party is their gift.

After last year, we decided that it was out of control, so we are no longer having parties. My husband and I are taking the birthday child out for the day to do what ever they want to do, within reason and leaving the other kids with my parents/friends. This year, our daughter wants to go to Disneyland - so it's 3 tickets, instead of 6 of us....and she get undivided attention, which she will remember those moments with us, instead of huge birthday party blurs.

We have never invited an entire class. We always have picked and chosen close friends and family. I don't do anything out of obligation.

But now, we have informed everyone that there are no more parties, so we can have a small dinner with family and have a cake....but no major party...and a wonderful day with each child without distractions.

When we GO to a birthday party, my max is $35....and the venue does not matter.

Both my kids have summer birthdays exactly one month apart (June 13th and July 13th). We do one party the weekend before the 4th of July and invite everyone and have a good old fashioned BBQ yard party with games, relays, water ballons etc. They are also only 2 yrs apart so most kids (cousins and friends) can participate in the fun at similar levels. We have family, thier friends, their friends parents, our friends, everyone - our close friends and family are invited to a camp out after party with a bon fire!! They bring their own tents and everything. There is some booze and unwinding in that part ;)

First off, I don't base the price of the gift on the venue. If the parents want to throw a party at an extravagant venue, that's their choice, but it doesn't obligate me to spend more on the gift. Also, backyard parties can be more fun than parties at venues and that mom had to do all the decorations, set-up, clean-up, etc. She has EARNED a more expensive gift, but the gift is for the child, not the parent so again where the party is is not a factor.

I don't believe that "family" has to come to each birthday party. In fact, once the kids are over 3, I feel like the parties are for the kids and only invite kid friends. We have well over 20 kids in our family; if we felt obligated to go to every kid's birthday party, we would be going to 2 or more per month. That's just too much. We are not invited to all of the birthday parties and we don't invite the entire family to our GD's birthday parties. No one gets their feelings hurt - we have enough parties to go to as it is!

I have been considering some of the same questions and here is where I landed:

- We started inviting friends from school when my son turned 4. It's okay not to invite the whole class. Others have said it would be a great icebreaker at the start of the school year - that's true. I was initially leaning towards a party with the whole class, but my son's class is pretty divided by gender; that is, the boys and girls really don't play together. We live in the city and don't have space in our home for a party, so we always have it at a play space. If I invite the whole class, then I can't invite other friends without paying a fortune for each extra child. Anyway, this year, we'll only be inviting the boys from his class. I spoke with the mom of one of his friends, and she said they would only be inviting the boys, too.

- I base the cost of the gift on whether or not the child is one of my son's friends. If my son is invited to a party b/c the whole class is invited and we're free, I'll take him to the party because I would want anyone I invited to attend my party. My kids always have a ball, but I have to say all the small talk or not having anyone to talk to can be pretty painful when you hardly know the birthday child's parents and other parents. For a child that's "just" a classmate, I'll spend ~$15 and will spend a little more for someone that's his friend.

If you still want to celebrate with family, you can do something more casual, like cake and pizza without turning it into a full party.

ok, my little guy is going to be 4 this year, and this is the first year we are doing family and friends separate. Only because the space is limited for the friends party (and I doubt grandma and grandpa want to go hang out at build a bear for a couple of hours). So we're doing a small friends party (about 10 - 15 people) on his birthday at build a bear (at the mall) with cupcakes in the food court, and a family get together (not so much a party) with cake and ice cream at home on Sunday either before or after his birthday.

for the second part of your question - I do not base the gift on where the party is. It is based on who the gift is for, and (sadly) whether or not the party is before pay day, or after. I would hope that people don't really base the cost of the gift on where the party is held.... in a few years, I see us having many birthday parties at home....

My kids get a dinner of their choosing on their actual birthday. Sometimes it is out, sometimes it's in. Their pick.

Normally my boys do a joint party, they are early March and mid-April, but they have a lot of the same friends They will be 5 and 7 this year.

My daughter gets her own, she will turn 9 in June and is no longer sharing many friends with her almost 7 year old brother.

We invite whatever family wants to join us for dinner on their birthday and they are of course invited to the party.

This year I think we are going to do a big pool party, but I'm already having trouble finding a weekend we can do it...between all of our personal travel and dance competitions.

We do not give them gifts at their party, but on their birthday. Other kids get a $20 limit for gifts. With the card and wrapping items, it ends up being $30. So that's it. No more. And if I can get away with less that's even better!

I have raised 4 who are now adults and 3 to go. We do parties based on the temperment of the kid. My oldest neice always wanted anyone and everyone to celebrate her birthday with her. Her birthday is today and she is still pretty much the same way. She will tell strangers on the street it is her birthday and invite them to join in the celebrating. She's my die hard extrovert. On the other hand my son could care less about a party but is perfectly happy with cake and a small gift if any gift at all.

When the kids were little we would invite their friends. None of our parties broke the bank because raising six kids in one house keeps you humble and in tune with the finances.

To me a birthday party is all about the birthday boy or girl, some cake, and ice cream, a few simple games, opening the gifts and everybody out my house. Short simple and fun for all. We still keep up the birthday traditions of celebrating but we tend to keep things simple.

The last few birthday's were celebrated with just a cupcake for the birthday person but my youngest is 15. So it really works out well.

As for giving the gift, we don't go by the price but try to give something the recipient can enjoy. My budget for little kids gifts is usually about $20.00 or less depending on the gift. I hope that helps.

What my neice does and I wish I had thought of earlier in my kids lives is she has a party that starts at like 2 for the family and then school friends come at say 4 (the time frame floats lol two is an example) the point being it is 2 hours of just family then friends come and play games etc. that way its all on one day but family can leave as they are ready (read as friends get there lol)

I give the same gift regardless of where the party is. our budget was always $10 for birthday parties. I sometimes found things in the clearance rack that made it look like more but ten was usually our budget. for best friends maybe a little more but not much

We do a combined family and friends party for our kids. They have four sets of grandparents, many aunts and uncles and cousins, and they all like to be involved. We could add many more, just family, but we have to draw the line somewhere! My daughter will be three and my son one this fall and we will combine their parties into one with family and friends. When they get a bit older I am sure they will enjoy separate parties.

When you get into the elementary school years you may find the school policy is invite all students-- IF you send invitations home through the school- or you have to get them delivered on your own. It is not kind to the kids who do not get invited to see some kids with an invitation. That was the policy in every school when I was teaching.

Have fun!

So far I've only thrown my girls a family party with a couple very close friends from school to the party. My daughter also has a large family who celebrate with lots of cousins. But the friends I invited became family friends.

I'm not sure I'll ever do a friend party...maybe when she gets older. But my daughter's birthdays are in September too....so I also find it hard to throw a friend birthday. Although, a girl with a birthday only 3 days after may daughter did have one, she just ended up having her party later in September. So I could see doing something like that.

I do not base my present on the type of party I base it on how well I know the child. I am more apt to spend more on my daughters friend whose family I have become friends with then another student that she just knows from school.

We started having class parties around age 4, although we still invite close family and friends to the class parties. I didn't read through all the responses, but I think you should invite everyone in the class. At a young age you want to make sure everyone feels included and that your child knows it is important to include everyone. I have noticed that some people do all boys or all girls from the class, but my son seems to have good friends in his class that are both boys and girls, so including everyone made sense for us.

Also, we got invited to a few parties right away when school started and it was great because the kids got to know each other and play outside of school and we also got to know some of the parents right away, which was nice. Someone has to start the year with the first party...might as well be you!

And I agree - no need to differentiate between what type of party it is when buying a present. We usually spend between $10-15.

My boys are turning 7 and 10. Last year and the year before we had a combined birthday party for both of them at the Y. They both invited about 10 kids. It was a blast. Before that my older had a laser tag party 2X with some of his friends. The year before he had a playdate party at our house with 5 friends from Kindergarten. My younger didn't want any parties when he was in preschool.

We also have a family party, just the four of us. I bake a cake for that, they get their favorite food and we do something the kids want to do. For the past few years they wanted to go to Chuck E. Cheese. We don't have any relatives here, but if we did, I would probably invite them too (at least grandparents and maybe aunts and uncles)

This year my older wants a sleepover party with 3 of his friends and my younger won a Community Center roller skate party. Fortunately, not a lot of expenses for us this year.

If their birthdays were in September I would do an outdoors party, either in the backyard or at the park. We only did they Y in the past because our house is too small to have a lot of kids over, but in summer, when they can go outside it's perfect to have a party at the house.

I don't give a more expensive gift because the party is at an expensive place. I personally think the party places are way overpriced and we only did the party place because we were able to combine both of their parties and we were in the middle of moving and it was winter. I also feel bad when our kids get so many gifts. It's crazy and so unnecessary! But I didn't want to tell the invitees not to bring any gifts either, because I think the boys would have been very disappointed if they didn't get any gifts from their friends, since they brought gifts to their parties.

I'm glad we are getting to the age where they prefer small parties with their close friends.

Unless I missed it, you didn't say how old your kids were. I had just a family party for my kids til they were in school and then it was a kids party and a family "dinner".

Also, my sister and I shared a birthday party til we were maybe 16 or so and then we had a seperate one. We both were allowed to invite 3 people each.

2). I don't think you should EVER weigh what kind of party a child is having on the amount you spend on a gift. That's kinda assinine and couple of people have asked that and i'm wondering what kind of income level would you have to be to think that is proper. Buy what you feel is right and within your budget regardless of the party expense. PERIOD.

Invitations: Give them out at the first of the year. What an awesome icebreaker for her. I'd be ok with giving them out just to say, "I'd like to get to know you...".

I don't have a huge family, admitedly, but if I did there'd be a seperate party for them and for the family.

Sending good thoughts your way.

Good Morning,

My thoughts on your questions:

1. We do one party for family and friends. They wind up huge (our daughters last one was over 40 ppl (adults and kids), our sons 4th birthday party is looking like in the 60's). It is just easier for us to do one big one rather than 2 medium sized ones. We started inviting friends to parties at 2 years old, with just friends they have playdates with. My son is now in Pre-K and has 16 students in his class. We invited all 16 to his party on March 4, and are expecting about 1/2 to come. We weren't planning to invite everyone at first, but then decided to as the other kids in his class have all invited everyone. We didn't want him to be the one kid who didn't have a party with his school friends there.

2. As far as gifts, I don't base the cost of the gift on where the party is, rather it is on how well we know the kids.

I'm curious to see your other responses. :) Have a great day!

B

We have a birthday dinner on our children's actual birthday. It's a special meal of their choosing. Close family gets invited over. Friends and extended family are invited to the actual birthday party. We do not invite the whole class. First, IF everyone showed up, it would be really expensive. Secondly, my son gets along with everyone in his class, but there are students he would rather not see outside of class. So we invite a few kids he is closer to, but I do it outside of school (I email the parents and get a mailing address and then mail the invites).I spend the same, no matter where the party is held. I have an absolute max of $20, but I usually spend less than that. I also have "go to" gifts. At two all our friends got "shake and go" cars. Three it was board games. Last year at five, it was lite brites. This year it's voice changers. I usually find something on sale and stock up to have it on hand. (If we know a friend has no interest in our "go to" gift we do go pick out something more appropriate).