Frustrating Momma Day... More of a Vent...

Full moon!!! But seriously, I totally get what you're saying! My daughter is the worst at this!! She'll come home from school in a bad mood and start yelling at me for no reason. I just tell her I'll talk to her when she cools off. I usually go in my room and play games on the computer! Then later I'll go talk to her; on one occasion, she told me a girl at school took her lunch and then lied about it. My son gets in a bad mood also, but he just clams up or gets a little moody with me but never yells at me.

I think it's because they know we'll keep loving them no matter what and they feel they can do/say anything to us. Taking a break from each other for a few minutes usually works for us. Then I also tell my kids I don't appreciate being yelled at; they apologize and we move on. It's all good!!

Hang in there!!

When your husband said that you should have stopped him then and there and pointed your finger right in his face and said "YOU DO NOT SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT. I INSIST THAT YOU APOLOGIZE." What he said was entirely unnacceptable even if he did apologize. That he could even think to say that tells me that you are not assertive enough. Don't take that from him. He can't treat you like that if you don't let him. I would also probably refuse to feed him that night. It would be a pizza night for sure.

I'm single, and your husband's outburst to you makes me glad to be single, too. On days where nothing satisfies the little one or her bad mood, I load her up for playcare and take myself to a nice relaxing dinner. In your case, when your husband told you it was your f-ing job to figure it out, you should've figured it out by picking up your purse and taken yourself out for a nice calm dinner and perhaps a mani/pedi and leaving them all at home to stew in their own bad moods.

Glad your man came out to apologize (that's a good thing).

Why are YOU the punching bag? Because you allow it. When those children started up with the screaming....TV off, get to their rooms and don't come out until you say so.

"What sounds good for dinner" or other weekly meals....I suggest you have a family sit down at the weekend and talk about the menu. Get them involved and ask for help preparing the meals. The four year old can help in small ways. Doesn't sound like there's a lot of communication going on in your home. Meal times are a good place to start. I wish you all the best.

I agree with Anita B., my husband has NEVER spoken to me like that even in the worst of moods and I don't speak to him like that (and believe me, I can be moody). I hope your kids don't treat you like that. If my kids even try to get smart or sassy with me, I will handle it immediately no matter where we are or what's going on. They know that and, therefore, it very rarely happens. Stuff like the couch example you gave, let them work it out. Don't waste emotinal energy on it. If they get out of hand with each other, they will have plenty of room on their own beds IN THEIR ROOMS without TV.

First of all, I'm sorry you had a bad day!

-I vent on there.
-I call my friends.
-I go for a walk afterward to let off steam and burn it!

Hang in there, mama!

.

Wow. I know we all have those days, where everyone is driving us nuts. I am one lucky mama to have a husband that recognizes this, and he will come in and 'take over' for me if he knows I have had a hard day.... Your note makes me even more grateful for him. If my husband, or anyone for that matter, used the F word at me -- esp in referring to something that I do FOR them... well, we would have some serious problems.
How do I handle these days, though? Well, I am very simple. I take the simple joy in doing the dishes by myself while my husband takes all the kids in the other room so that I can be alone, clean up the way I want to, and then I get the kids ready for bed ASAP. I really look forward to taking a hot shower after they are all in bed... that is my one treat every day. I know it isn't much, but now that I am in the throws of morning sickness, and have 3 kids under 5, I am taking my joys where I can. I really wish you well and hope you can get your husband to agree never to talk to you like that. (If not, then maybe serving chx nuggets, hot dogs, and pizza all the time will make him want to be more helpful :)

You know what helps... wine. And kick your hubby in the butt. Thank goodness he apologized or I would go on strike. "Really? Now you can figure out what's for dinner".