Frustrated...counting And Alphabet Learning

He is on track! All kids learn differently and at different rates, but according to norms that is the norm. Don't get frustrated with him now, set him up to like learning. Read to him. Get letter stories, numer stories, and any other types of stories. Reading to him is probably one of the best things you can do to help him learn!!! Also, just because he doesn't do things correctly for you doesn't mean he doesn't know it. My son is 5 1/2 and almost always says "I don't know" or " I can't" when we ask him to tell us or show us things. He just doesn't like to "perform" I guess. Back at my son's 5 year well visit with the pediatrician, she asked him to count for her to 10 and he didn't stop until he got to 322. Blew my mind. But, seriously. He isn't off target.

Stop "working" and start having fun.

Read to him, sing with him, play with him, swing him on the swings.

His teachers are right. He is on the bell curve somewhere, he needs to know that you are OK with his place on the curve. He is just in preschool, and it is not something to stess about.

M.

If it makes you feel any better (which it may not :) my son is 4 1/2, and he is exactly the same way. His vocabulary is awesome, his problem solving skills are terrific, but like your son, he doesn't always count to 10 in order, without skipping numbers, he sings his abc's, sort of, also sometimes skipping or mixing them up, and he is just starting to be able to write his name by copying it if I write it first, and even then, it's very rudimentary. He was never one to learn songs and sing them much, and he is a very typical little boy - very active, rarely sits still, and even when talking or doing something, is always moving. However, he loves to read (i.e. look at his books) and be read to. And his memory for events and things is fantastic. He will remember details of situations, things he saw, or said, or did, or things I said or did, with way more detail than I remember.

At times, I get a little concerned about his "academic" progress, but I quickly talk myself down. He is in his second year of preschool also (2 half days/wk last year, and 3 half days/wk this year.) He is absolutely fine. He will get things in his time. We are taking the NO PRESSURE route for now. He is 4, for Pete's sake. I don't want him turned off from formal learning before he's even in school! He has a ton of exposure to learning opportunities, both through books/computer, as well as experiential, and he gets a ton of individual attention. He'll get these things when he is mature enough. I refuse to stress about it or compare him to other kids who have been singing their abc's since they were one. Every kid has strengths and some kids get those things earlier. My son learned to walk at 8 months. He is extremely physically capable. He is strong and agile. And he is extremely sensitive, emotionally responsive, and loving. And that is fine with me. As long as he is on the curve, or if he's struggling, that I'm doing what I can to help him, then that's good enough for me.

I guess my point in saying all that is that you are not alone, and you son is probably a lot like many little boys his age. Don't stress too much about it yet. Let him grow up a little. If his teachers say he's ok, then for now, let that be enough. Keep your eyes and ears open, and if at some point, he is actually struggling, you'll know.

Blessings to you and your perfectly wonderful little boy.

Hmmmm....he's probably like my son--a real "boy scout" in school but a comedian for mom!
I agree with Martha, stop drilling and just let him be. Incorporate basic skills into your daily life--read street signs when you're in the car, look for the numbers 1-10 on a short trip, make up stories using words beginning with the letters of the alphabet in order, YOU sing the ABC song and make a mistake--I'll bet he points it out to you!

Some kids just take longer to "get" it, so, chill, relax, and know that yes he is on track. My daughter was almost six before it finally clicked what the difference between a number and a letter is, and, still could not count to 20.
Now, she is passing her spelling tests in first grade, at the age of still six. My oldest on the other hand was writing her name at 2 1/2. So, yes, I was very frustrated when my second daughter seemed to be "behind" and my frustration only made her more frustrated. So, once a teacher finally told me that she would get it, just relax and wait for that "light-bulb" moment, I did. We just practiced, cheerfully at home, and, she worked at school, and, just like the teacher said, the light-bulb came on. Don't push him, don't get aggravated or anything, just keep repeating yourself around him, watch the leapfrog movies, get the leapfrog games, and, rest assured that the light-bulb moment will happen when it is time for it to happen for him! :)

My kids love letters and numbers. They crave learning about them. They're ahead of the game, and today I'm making calls about the gifted resources available in my area.

BUT

My brother wasn't interested in that stuff before kindergarten. You couldn't make him count or say his ABC's. He just didn't care. He was busy chasing lizards and frogs. You might think he's a dunce for not knowing enough before kindergarten. But guess what he is now? A nation-wide renowned professor of molecular immunology. He's the most intelligent person I know.

So don't sweat it! Your son is just interested in other things. Especially, I bet, when he's not at school. He does that stuff in class, and has had enough, I bet, so he doesn't want to do it at home, too.

Letters and numbers aren't the only way to learn, anyway. Take him on walks and talk to him about the plants and animals you see. Find out what he's interested in and take him to the library to check out books about it. My kids loved doing "units" on the things they were interested in. It was mostly boy stuff like volcanoes and tornadoes, dinosaurs, penguins, bears, etc. If you make it a part of your daily life to learn things, he'll do great in school and other aspects of his life, too.

Agree with the other two ladies.

My first reaction to your predicament (sp?) was that he's yanking your chain. He's being 'funny' because you're mom.

Teach him in a fun way like singing. Make up songs with alphabets and numbers. My 28 month old boy now knows his numbers from 1-10. I make up songs with numbers. I count with him. I count everything with him, his toys, etc.. I do that for Alphabets too. I sing Alphabet songs all the time. When I am pushing him on the swings, every time I am pushing him, I go A, 2nd push, B, C... etc. I do that using numbers too. He likes saying them with me when he is on the swings. He has not mastered the alphabets but he tries. But he counts 1 through 10. We do puzzles too. They help a lot. Don't worry, your son might know them but may be he is too nervous to say them or too shy to say them around you. Have fun with him and good luck.

I am kind of going through similar things with my son.. He'll be 4 in October and doesn't like learning.... My friend is a teacher/tutor/teaches parenting classes, etc.. I call her my kid whisperer.. This is how she told me to what to do/and what not to do:

I don't who suggested flashcards because that's a quick way to turn a 4-5 year old off to learning. Some kids might like it but others will not. The key is to make games out of it..make it fun. Here are some ideas you can try. You can do these things with numbers as well.
* write the letter with marker on a piece of cardstock paper. You and and your son can glue beans to the letter. After the beans dry he can trace the letter with his fingers and say it.
* practice writing letter with shaving cream in the tub or in a large plastic tray on the table or on the side walk.
* Paint letters outside with water or sidewalk paint or write with chalk.
* make a matching game with three letters at a time. use index cards to make it
* Get a set of magnetic letters for the fridge so he start seeing them there and hopefully play with them.
* See if you can find some foam letters for tub and start playing with them in there with him.
* See if you can find any cereal or pasta that are in the shape of letters. He can sort through and look for a letter that you are working on with him
* Hang an alphabet poster in his room and downstairs.
* Get him some alphabet books.

the idea is to expose it to him as much as you can. Make it part of his surroundings and you'll see how he'll start recognizing them. Don't make it something he has to do or he will fight you on it and you'll have the opposite results. Do NOT sit him down and tell him "ok ....... we have to practice your letters today" ugh he will power struggle with you like crazy. Just start with exposing him and playing games with the letters and numbers if he'll willing.

That is what my friend suggested to me~

KEEP LEARNING FUN!!!
My son is 3 and he doesn't like it when people quiz him on his letter, shapes, colors and numbers. He can count to 20 and knows all his letter just not in order yet. Our family is very proud of how smart he is but he gets very annoyed with them treating him like a trainned monkey asking him multipule times to count or just answer questions that he clearly knows but they ask for their own entertainment.

My son loves puzzles and he has one that is a long train of the alphabet. He loves to put it together with me and is starting to be able to put some together by himself. Its fun for him and he is learning his letters in order.

Check out Lakeshorelearning.com it a great website that you can download free activities for you and your son to do together.

Have fun learning together!

If you feel like you really must "quiz"him or help him learn... don't do drills. Do something fun that requires counting... like:
Exercise some together... do 5 jumping jacks.. then spin around. Do some jogging in place or whatever. Slowly increase your fitness and count higher...

Do you require him to eat a certain amount of his dinner? We taught our kids 1,2,3 (on up to 5 or 6) by counting out how many bites of something on their plate that they needed to eat. (Eat 5 peas. Eat 3 bites of __.) Don't make it about teaching... just incorporate it into the other activity... YOU do the counting and let him count along with you. Numbers and letters are very abstract... they need concrete ways to learn them.

We used the book "Teach Your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lessons" to teach our kids to read. Our daughter was 3 1/2, our son was almost 4, when we started. They didn't even need to KNOW the alphabet or the letter names. They are really irrelevant to reading... what they need to know is the SOUNDS that the letters MAKE and how to blend them when they appear in words. So rather than worry about your son knowing A,B,C,D et al, pick a letter a day and see if he can name/find 10 things today that begin with the "A" sound (or the R sound, or whatever letter you are on). That will also help him count! But it can be fun, not work or dreadful drills.

We also would play "I Spy" with our kids. The books are fantastic (there are school oriented ones that you search for the letters hidden amongst other items) but we would just make up our own on car trips or whatever... "I spy something green" (or, I spy something that begins with the letter S, S says sssssssssssssss...). and let the guessing begin...

Read Dr. Moore's book, "Better Late Than Early"

Kids in a pre-kindergarten level are supposed to be learning these things now, it's age appropriate for him to be where he is.

Check with parentcenter.com and put his age in the search engine, ask what questions you have and they have tons of articles on just about every topic.

http://www.parentcenter.com/preschooler.html

Have you tried the Leapfrog videos? We are not big TV people but I LOVE these videos. The Letter Factory teaches letters and their sounds and Math Adventure to the Moon teaches counting. They also have Let's Go To School which has letters and numbers. My kids both love these DVDs and they are fun and educational. We also read a ton and practice counting all kinds of things (how many bananas are there? Let's count them...)