Frustrated with Husband

either of you could do what i do.. alot of men are doing it also.... if you want i can mail you more information... www.lisauselton.myarbonne.com good luck and hang in there

My husband is so wonderful. He wants nothing more than to be a stay at home dad, but he had the higher paying job, so he had to sacrifice and keep working instead of me. He realizes that this is a better choice for our family. Maybe for now the better choice for your family is for you to stay working. I know that is not what you want to hear, but I am playing devil's advocate, so you can see both sides. I do agree with the last response, though!!!
Good Luck!

Oh we of experience feel we can step back and see our mistakes, but it's hard to do while you're inside the situation. I'm speaking as a divorced mother of two. I had a husband (of 16 years) with money and the more he made the more he was away and the more I did on my own. Be thankful that you have a loving husband who helps you and spends time with you as a family. Money isn't everything, please be careful what you wish for. Also, communicate your concerns but be mindful not to tell him the issues that he is well aware of. I learned this during Christian Counseling at my church and I found I was just beating him up over things that he already knew were wrong and he had been beating himself up enough with the guilt he felt. No need to rub it in, I guess is what I'm saying. We don't know what tomorrow holds nor do we have any control over the big picture. Try not to worry, things will work out as they are supposed to. However, that may not be how we think they should. Focus your time spent on worrying about this back on your family - it will pay you back two fold. I wish you the best!

Well, I am still a new wife, so I don't know it all for sure but with my husband direct is best. I think that if what you want is to have another baby just talk to him openly about it, when he is in a good place of course! I have also found that giving my husband strategic plans that I have come up with is not helpful. Better to just put my cards on the table and wait. Let him come up with some plausible solutions and be the hero. He sounds like an awesome husband and dad so he probably has a strong desire to make you happy and see that your needs are met. I think that men like to know what you want and then like to be given some time to sort through how to give it to you. Anyway, I hope that helps!! When we made the choice for me to stay home there were several "discussions" that seemed to get us nowhere. Finally I told my husband that I wanted to stay home but that I trusted him to make the right decision for our family because I believed that my best interests were at his heart. He needed to know that he would be my hero in any scenario. Once we were on the same team we came up with a solution that worked out great and I am now at home with my little boy and able to help my hubby out with his work a lot. I know you guys will get through this time!! Good luck to you :)

Hi DeDe
First and foremost, does he want to have another child? Having a child is alot of work don't get me wrong, but 2 is twice as much. I have 2 boys and my husband also helps me alot. But if your husband is not interested in another child that could be the reason for his lack of interest for a higher paying job. If he does want another child you would have to take time off to have the child, then once the child is born your first will probably not be in school yet, which would help alittle. I truely understand about the insurance, my husband has a good insurance but he pays over $400.00 a month that is taken out of his check. All I can tell you is that 1st you both would have to be in agreement on having a 2nd child, then dicuss options a:If he does want another child he will have to do his part and get a higher paying job or maybe it would be best to wait until he gets his degree and then talk again, or wait until 1st child is in school. I don't know if this is going to help you but I hope it does. Keep in mind not all children are excited about going to school. My first child was ready at 3yrs old. My second did'nt want to go and had alittle trouble the first week crying alitttle. But because I was able to not work I was able to be here for Matthew(2nd child) full time. When he was on his second year I went back to work. All children are different and need to have at least one parent to be able to be on call (so to speak) for the children.Wish you and your family the best.

My opinion is is start cutting back now on your expenses, clip coupons for groceries, don't rent at blockbuster (Mc Donald's restaurant has a vending machine for DVD rentals called RedBox, it is only $1 per night) Eat out less and try make sure you run all errands at one time instead multiple, you will save gas and time. Train yourself now to leave on a smaller budget. Talk to your bosses, ask them how they feel about stay at home employees, some of them find benefits in for them as well. In my opinion it is not fair of you to expect your husband to go to school & work more so you can work less, make it work so that you are both happy. No reason why you both can't be stay at home working parents, right?

Hi,
I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm fortunate enough to be able to stay home with my daughter because my husband has a wonderful, well paying job, with benefits. However, about 9 months ago he was EXTREMELY unhappy at work. He had a boss that he really did not enjoy working for, he was working longer hours than we both wanted, and he was very stressed, almost to the point of depression. I got to the point where I was willing to move to a smaller house, down size our car, and possibly even go back to work so he would be happier. He never brought things home, but I could always tell how unhappy he was. The point of my story is, money is not always the most important thing. If he enjoys what he does now and is able to be the kind of husband and father you both want him to be, it may not be worth it. I hope I'm not offending you, it took me a while to understand all of this. We are in the process of building our dream home and it had come to the point where neither one of us wanted that if he had to keep that job. Fortunately, it all worked out. He was able to move departments and work and he is much happier!!! Trust me, it will all work out. I don't know if you are religious, but lots of prayer worked for us. Good Luck!
T.

I know kind of how you feel. My husband found a job last year that offered double his pay, his boss bought his lunch every day and he got a huge Christmas bonus and had only been at the company a few months. We thought this was going to be great for our family until he started noticing irregularities in their accounting and told me he wanted to quit because he did not want to be around shady business dealings. I really wanted him to stay just a little longer so we could get out of debt. He was coming home grouchy and calling in sick. He put his resume out again and gound another job for about what he was making before. Luckily I had paid off his student loan and other debt while the good income lasted. Find ways to cut down on debt or spending i.e. payoff a car or something and then have a baby.

While I think education is very important (I was always a model student), now that I have a child, I have no interest in any more education. I'm not really that interested in anything that is going to cause me to have a lot less time with my family. Every now and then is fine. It sounds like your husband is the same way. I applaud him. I see too many husbands finding any excuse to spend LESS time with their family and it sounds like your husband has the right idea.

My husband used to travel A LOT when he was previously married. When they had a baby, he gave his ex-wife the choice 1) He works and travels internationally to make enough money for her to stay home 2) he works domestically, no travel for less money, but he's home more and she works too. She chose #1. Of course, now they are divorced and he's not bonded with his first child.

I told him that when we got married, I would rather him take a lower paying, less stressful, no travel job ANY DAY of the week if that meant he was home every night and an involved dad. We both work in industries where we could make a lot more money, but family time is more important and we like that we BOTH get to be home and we BOTH get to be an involved parent.

Sorry, I gotta side with your husband on this one...