Frustrated Mom

If she is that interested in what you are eating, stop giving her those bland meals, which are very high in sodium and feed her what you are eating! I bet she will eat then!

Hi S.,
First of all dont force her to eat. Thats not a good idea at all. Weather your mom knows best or not is not the point. She needs to resecpt your wishes and have your daughter eat the foods you want her to eat.
Could it be that table food is the best thing to feed your daughter. Forget the stage two foods and stick to just table foods. Maybe that would make things easier al the way around..

N.

Hi,

My daughter will be 2 this month and I have always thought that there was no way she was eating enough, but at every well baby check up she was always at an appropriate weight...somehow. I'd say don't stress as long as your pediatrician says your child is fine.
If you get stresses around mealtime, your child will pick up on it and that will likely just make things worse. It sounds to me like you are doing all the right things, getting your daughter to be independant and feed herself and communicate to you when she is hungery or full. She will always be more interested in your food, especially if she notices you are eating different things than her. Babies/children want to do the things their parents do, so if you eat a variety of healthful foods, eventually she will too.
I was never one to try to keep my baby on any kind of a schedule even though it seems to work for some people. I just tried to listen to my baby and let her tell me when she was ready for food, sleep etc.
Keep mealtime fun and don't stress about it.
Good luck.- B.

Never ever force your child to eat. She will eat when she's hungry. She needs to be eating only when she's hungry. 4 to 5 hr schedules are for infants and even then it should only be when hungry not because the clock dictates. (bad eating habits stem from eating when not hungry) If you don't want your mother feeding her certain things then bring specific food for each meal each day. I personally would do that. Stage 2 foods are for infants, not toddlers. Your 18 month old should be on toddler and table foods right now. Talk to your pediatrician. Bring your mother along for the appointment or have your ped talk to her. It's not about what your mother wants or thinks is best. YOU are the mom. GOOD LUCK. I know how hard it is.

Hi,
My daughter is now 1 and she has been off of the stage 2 baby food since she was 9 months old, she just refused to eat it. I buy the graduates and give her that or I just giver her what ever we have for dinner. For breakfast she usually eats eggs, waffles or cereal. For lunch she will either have a graduate, a half of a peanut butter and jelly sandwitch or just some cheese, ham and crackers. She loves to feed herself and won't even let me try. She already uses her own fork and spoon. Yes she makes a mess but she is eating and learning at the same time and that is importan. We always sit down to our meals together. I eat when she eats. Since my daughter is a schedule child we usually eat at the same time everyday. My first daughter was flexable so it really doesn't matter. We also usually have a snack in the afternoof after her nap. We try to keep it healthy to either crackers or some fruit. Your daughter is old enough that I don't see why she needs to be on the stage 2 foods. As long as you are eating healthy foods there is no reason why she can't have what you have. You also shouldn't force her it teaches bad habits for later that she will feel that she always has to finish what is on her plate even though she is not hungry and that leads to being overweight in the future. She will let you know if she is hugry later and just have a healthy snack ready.

Good luck,
Jenn

I think it's good to have a schedule but I don't really force my 21 month old son to eat. If I don't give him a lot of junk, he eats at least one really good meal a day (sometimes he's super picky at lunch but better for dinner or vice versa). He definitely prefers to do it himself - I don't really hand feed him much these days (sometimes I'll give him a few bites to try to get him started). I try to choose foods that he likes and are easy for him to feed himself. However, I do try to get him to at least taste new grown up foods that my husband and I eat (not always with success). His favorites (as with many children) are mac & cheese, pizza, grilled cheese, and chicken nuggets. I try to get at least one fruit or vegetable with his meals (strawberries, bananas, peas, etc).

A couple things that seem to help:
ketchup - he likes to use a fork and dip food in ketchup
giving him his own special plate
cutting food small enough so he can get it on his fork but still fit it in his mouth

Also, at dinner time, since it's right before his bath, I let him really just go for it with the messy foods (pudding, yogurt, etc).

Try letting her to keep feeding herself. If she already feeds herself a little bit, then you try to feed her more..it's like you're taking her power and independence away. I used to be a psychology major in school and in one of my classes we learned about a little girl who would sit for hours on end with her mom, refusing to eat. Through play therapy (watching the child play) the doctor and mother realized that the little girl probably just wanted to be the one to do the feeding (she kept feeding little babies and dolls while she was playing). You're not being a bad mother by trying to force her to eat, you just want whats best for her..food! But she doesn't understand that..all she understands is she wants what she wants and you're not letting her have it/do it. So I would say just try to let her keep feeding herself as long as she has already started a bit!

I wouldn't worry about what your mom gives her. I think I feared the same thing, that my son and daughter would gravitate to my mother-in-law for comfort and guidance instead of me. It won't happen. Who do your kids want when they are sick....you I'm sure. Enjoy the time your mother is around doing things for your kids. Someday when your kids are grown you will see that it really wasn't a big deal after all.

S.,

Eating is always a stress-particularly if you don't think they're getting enough. My dauhgter is two and a half and I still worry, but I do know deep down that she will eat when she's hungry and will let me know. I still offer her things until I'm confident that she's really not interested then I stop and let it go.

The key is: don't force it. If you want your little girl to develop a healthy attitude towards food, let her explore it (maybe she won't eat it, but on the other hand maybe she will and that's ok). If she says she's not hungry or is refusing, let it go. Offer her something else, a light snack or something, again, she'll eat when she's ready.

Often times, my daughter won't eat but when I do suddenly she wants what I have (and I mean that literally-she doesn't want her own of what we're eating, she wants mine). Sometimes, although very rarely, she wants me to feed her and I'm happy to oblige but for the most part she'll do it on her own.

Let her feed herself altogether. It sounds like she may want a little independance with food. Also, try eating with her she may enjoy the time you have together over your meals.

As far as your mom is concerned, I don't know what to say to that because I haven't experienced that.

Remember, your girl will eat when she's hungry (and I'm not saying don't offer her anything) but she'll know when she's hungry. Have healthy snacks on hand just in case she feels like nibbling. Healthy attitudes toward food are important and if you let her go at her own pace, explore the food and let her try things without forcing you, and she, will be very happy.

Good luck,
K.

PS: I agree with Nancy. Get out of the baby foods altogether and give her what you and your husband eat. She's old enough now that she can eat regular food.

hi. just let me start with, everyone is right, you're not alone, all toddlers can be fickle with eating (although some never have that problem). my daughter started this stage around 14 months, and i've been told it will last at least another 6-9 months. i've learned that the more i try to force her to eat, the less she will eat. and the more that i give her that she can feed herself, she will eat more! i give her as much as i can that's able to be eaten w/ the fingers...scrambled eggs, cheese slices, small (thin) pizza sqares, grilled cheese (or toasted w/ no butter which my daughter prefers) cut into 4's, pretzels, those fruit and veggie puffs, the dried fruit, peeled grapes (sometimes cut in 1/2), cut up strawberries, chunks of bananas, chicken nuggets/strips, french fries, even cut up deli meat (turkey is usually the one they choose 1st). i try to feed her while she's watching her cartoons, so that she's distracted (especially when it's something that I have to feed her and she can't do herself, like a bowl of cereal w/ milk, soup, oatmeal, and even the gerber graduates meals you mentioned). the easiest way for me to get her to allow me to feed her is not just with the tv, it's also while she has something on her plate that she can feed herself. when i give her the gratuates meals, i'll spoon the veggies that are on the side onto her plate and let her pick them up and feed herself while i try to sneak a spoonful of the meal in here and there inbetween her feeding herself. as long as it's something that she can chew, and you approve of, you can give her anything really. if you want her to have chicken, you can just cut up what's on your plate into smaller pieces so that she can pick them up and easily chew. not only does this make it easier because she's having what she wants of yours, it also makes it cheaper because you were making it anyway for yourself and if she doesn't eat it, you didn't waste any time or money on something that's ending up in the garbage. i try to eat a little earlier so she can eat on her schedule, if not, i'll just make dinner earlier, and then heat mine up when i'm ready to eat. just remember forcing will only make things worse, they won't starve themselves, it's better to let them eat what they want (within reason, even if it isn't the healthiest) then to have them not eat at all, AND if it will get them to actually eat, try to make it something that they can feed themselves! good luck, and i hope it passes soon (i'm still working on it, with patience and alot of stress also). and yes, for some reason, my daughter will eat better for my mother then she will for me sometimes making it look like i'm crazy and that she really eats fine. but the fussy behavior comes and goes with the moods.

Hi S..

18 month olds are very fickle. I understand how frustrating meal time can be. I my own experience, all 3 of my kids would proclaim that they were done eating by throwing their food on the floor and there was no way I could get them to eat anymore...UNTIL I took them out of their booster chair and then they would act as if they were STARVING! They would either eat the food they just threw onto the floor or scream at me until I let them eat from my plate.

I have attributed these behaivors to be typical of babies at this age. They are not trying to defy you, or for that matter, learning bad habits. They are however learning to be in control of themselves and their feeding, understanding the magical world of cause and effect, blossoming their independence, and discovering the new tastes and textures that come from mommy's plate.

My 17 month old son is currently doing the same thing your daughter is doing. God forbid I give him oatmeal for breakfast, he would cringe and scream until I gave him something else. Yet when I sit down to eat my oatmeal, he begs for it and will devour my breakfast. When babies are hungry they want familiar flavors to satisfy them. When they are no longer hungry they are more willing to try something new.

Also, babies/toddlers never need to be forced to eat. They eat when they are hungry, and they stop when they have had enough. So you are not a bad mom for not forcing her. You are being a good mom because forcing kids to eat will lead to an unhealthy attitude about food which can lead to eating disorders.

Good luck. Hope this helped.

Hi S.,

I definitely would tell your mom to end the Stage 2 foods. At 18 months old, your daughter is able and wants to eat table foods and feed herself. I was always told that a child will always eat when they are hungry and will not starve themselves. So relax and don't force her to eat but I would establish regular meal times and sit down as a family to eat if possible (do you have be out and about during dinnertime?). That way she is eating when and what you are eating.(I am a big believer in schedules with some flexibility although I realize others do not and what is good for my family isn't always good for others.)

Also, I have read that those graduate foods are loaded with sodium and fillers. Feeding her fresh fruits and veggies that are cooked and cut up into small pieces, well cooked pasta and soft meats, eggs, beans and tofu is best. Provided that you eat well-balanced, healthy meals, you can just give her what you eat at mealtime and sit back and enjoy your food while she enjoys hers!

I would also recommend the book "Super Baby Food" by Ruth Yaron. It is for babies as well as toddlers (up to 3 years). It has great healthy recipes for the beginner eater, good advice and even tells you ways to make food look more appealing and fun to eat!

Hope this is helpful. Good luck.
C.

Table food is FINE for an 18 month old. One of my boys went right from the bottle to the table. Make sure that the food is small enough and healthy. Keep away from high sugar foods, the natural sugars are the best (fruits etc). Forcing a child to eat will only cause you stress, I have learned that the hard way. Save it, if they are hungry in an hour, feed them the same plate, this way you dont waste it and they are eating. When you are out bring healthy snacks in little containers that are already chopped small for her. It is so hard to be a mom and a daughter at the same tiem, however the agree and ignore approach works for me! Good luck with integrating #2!!