Frustrated!!! - Chicago,IL

I am interested to read the answers you have here. My kids get overly excited when Daddy comes home, mostly because he lets bad behavior slide, where I do not. (Then he complains that the kids don't listen to him! HA!)

My guess is that they get excited when Dad gets home and he has a different nurturning and dicipline style from yours. When they get all crazy they are HIS kids, when they are good they are YOURS :)

Yeah.. my husband used to come in on Thursday nights just about the time we finished saying prayers and I was turning out the lights. He would immediately go into their rooms and give them a tickle torture to tell the good-night. AUGH!! I just spend half an hour calming them down, reading stories, etc getting them all dozy feeling to go to sleep and then THAT. UGH.
Men just don't get it sometimes.
Now our kids are a little older, and they aren't in bed yet when he comes in on Thursday nights at 8:00pm.. in fact, sometimes dad beats US home, lol. But they are better able to adjust now that they are a little older.

Maybe you could just talk to your husband (not right now while you are upset though) in a calm moment, and suggest that when he comes home, if he is going to play with the kids in a way that gets them all riled up, that he needs to calm them down (return them to their normal rational state) before he walks away from the situation.
Men DO interact differently with the kiddos. That is part of why kiddos need a mommy AND a daddy. But Daddy needs to recognize that you have spent the better part of the day trying to keep things orderly, and while it is fine to play and get crazy with the kids, that THAT is playtime, Playtime doesn't last all day, and there needs to be a return to 'normalcy' when it is done. And he needs to get them there.... not leave it for you.

Speak to them about behaving and how to behave when Daddy comes home.
Have your hubby acknowledge good behaviour.
If he comes home after dinner, then every one gets dessert while Daddy sits at the table.
Have Daddy tell them to behave, even if he's tired.

Mine have done this too. My hubby would stay with them when I worked evenings and Weekends at the mall. So when I got home they were nuts, the dog too.
Now my hubby comes home late many nights. The kids get his dinner. They all sit and eat a dessert while he eats dinner.
It's routine now so we don't have many crazy nights, plus mine are teens and preteens.

I agree with most of the response here. Daddy has to be the same page with Mommy. My husband is the dsiciplinarian in my household, so I try to apply the same rules when the children are with me.

My kids get crazy when daddy gets home because they never see him. He works long hours so they really want his attention. I think if he was home at a normal time, the kids wouldnt be so crazy when he is home. Not sure if this is yur situation, but thats why my kids are nuts around daddy.

This happens in our house, the only difference is daddy is the one home with the kids, and I'm the one upsetting the balance when I get home from work! Even if the kids were really good that day, as soon as I walk in the door they are so excited they're practically climbing the walls. Could you take them outside to play right when coming-home time approaches? Something about the distraction of the fresh air and the running around seems to dispell the craziness a little bit. And don't worry, just blink...soon daddy will come home and they won't even notice:(

Oh, it is as if you have been spying on OUR family!
We go through this every Thursday or Friday when my husband returns from his work trips. He is away Sunday or Monday until the end of the week. We have had this heated discussion in our family too - I only wish sometimes he would come home once the kids are already in bed and asleep, because he usually arrives just as it is lights out, and my 30 minute routine of reading and winding them down, goes out the window and it is a free for all! Yes, it is frustrating for me, BUT I see how eager he is to be home and how joyous my children are to see him, that underneath my annoyance I love to see the interaction between them all. I try to see it from his side and the kids side too. I think as long as it is pointed out to him, that the family has to run on some kind of routine when he is away otherwise it is utter chaos, is important for him to understand. The routine can be as strict or flexible as your family needs. He does throw a spanner in the works sometimes but in the long run - does an extra 30-45mins up really negatively impact the kids much? For our family - I think not. I think he realizes that if our roles were reversed he would feel frustrated too. Try to see it from the other side, and hopefully you'll be able to forgive the intrusion a little. I think this issue is normal in a family where one parent is often out of the daily schedule but returns sometime during the week. Chin up.

Daddy will have to help you out with this one. Kids respond better when they know both parents are on the same page. I would just tell your husband that when he comes and gets the kids worked up it is time for you to go shopping or get your nails done etc.....

I'm not sure if you're married or divorced, but either way, you and daddy are going to have to get on the same page so they don't act this way. Realize that when daddy gets home from work they are going to be excited. If it's at a regular time every night, then maybe a different kind of bedtime routine needs to be in place to make it work more smoothly. If daddy's presence is disruptive cause he's not on the same page discipline-wise, then you're going to have to team up and work on that. If the kids are getting mixed messages, they're going to act differently. Good luck!