Friends Having a Joint Birthday Party

Hi L.,\
birthday parties can be lots of fun especially if you have a large group- but birthdays are individual and I think you should at least sing happy birthday to each one individually- the cake idea is good- but actually, at their ages they are not even going to remember this party- and I would have the gifts at home just to keep the confusion down.
Have fun
good luck and blessings

Great idea, a joint party!

I think it's awkward to sing to both girls. It's such a nice message that they're sharing their party and so the focus is on them both, together. Why not just go with it? And I would not do the gifts. That way, you avoid any awkwardness if one gets more, or something the other wanted, etc. Are you worried that people will think you're being rude because you didn't open gifts? It's so much nicer to have the party be about the kids all having fun in such a great setting than about grownups ooohing and aaahing over what they got, and you'll send thank you notes, so everyone will know that you loved the gifts.

Hope it's a big success!

I love the idea of each girl getting their own cupcake and getting sung to separately. Draw out of a hat before the friends show up on who goes first or let the 3 year old go first b/c she understands it more.

As for gifts I suggest taking them home to open so that you don't have to keep up with anything and also they don't beg you to open the gifts....they are at the age where new toy means open the box NOW.

At the large majority of parties that my children have attended gifts have NOT been opened at the party. On the rare occasions when they are opened, it's a fiasco. Definitely leave the gifts for home.

On the Happy Birthday, at 2 and 3 years old the girls are not going to know the difference if you just sing both girls' names in the song at once and had them blow out candles together. However, if you did decide to do it separately, the girl who is second will most definitely notice that she had to watch the other one blow out her candles and had to wait. Do it together to save yourself the drama!

Good luck,
K.

I like the idea of one large cake and two small cakes for each girl. I don't know about the singing. I understand your thought of the focus being on each girl, but I'm not sure either of them are really old enough for that to make a difference. I would personally recommend opening presents when you get home. I think little ones have a short enough attention span for the presents, and to have to sit through TWO sets of presents would be too much. Good luck!

I would sing for both the same time and let everyone say their names as they wish - in chaos. It will be cute, everyone will laugh. Relax - your kids won't care.

I think it's great that you are doing a joint party for your girls. Like you said, it will be cheaper for you and convenient for mutual friends. The museum sounds fun, too!

Your idea of doing a large joint cake with two special birthday girl cupcakes is a good one IMO. Another idea...I've seen very small personal cakes (maybe 3-4 inches in diameter) for the birthday child and cupcakes for the guests, which I think would work well in this case. (Sam's Club does a nice job with both tiny cakes and cupcakes: delicious, pretty, and inexpensive.) Personally, I would do the song once, using both girls names, "Happy birthday ??? and ???"

Most party rooms have time limits like yours, so a lot of the parties we've attended recently have skipped gift opening and concentrated on cake, ice cream, and fun. Gifts were opened later at home. I've seen parties where everyone brings a toy or book as a donation for a women's shelter, hospital, etc. I think that's kind of nice, although I haven't tried it with my kids yet.

I think that you should sing to them separately, in order of age/birthdate. It's still important that they feel the individuality of the celebration, have the individual focus from guests. It's more than okay for them to learn now how to share the spotlight and how to let someone else have the spotlight in their midst. They take turns.

The idea for the cupcakes is a good one.

The gifts should be opened at home.

I'm sure that you know this, but be reminded that you are not going to please everybody. There are gonna be disapprovers in everythng that you do. Don't let it bother you, and show them that they can do it their way when it's their turn. Don't let it stress you. If it makes sense to you and your friend (for your daughters), go for it.

we do this all the time as many of our children's friends have close birthdays. The cake with a cupcake each is good. We usually just do one cake with bothe names or for the 5-7 age range two small cakes if they can't agree on a theme. Make sure you put on the invitation that the party is for both and that one childs friends/family are not expected to bring gifts for the other child (if that is how you want it) We usually announce that because of time and space constraints we are going to be opening the gifts at home and we thank everyone and then make sure you send thank you notes. Good Luck!

i just went to a joint bday party..both girls names were on 1 cake and they sang the song once, including both names. gifts were not opened. i've been to MANY bday parties...and opening gifts has been a rarity. i think whatever u choose is fine....i don't think at 2 and 3 it will be that big of a deal....maybe more to the parents (meaning you and the other mom)

My daughter and her sister are a year apart. Her mother and I decided to have their party together and their father paid for the entire thing. My daughter was turning 4 and her daughter 3. This ended up being the BIGGEST mistake I ever made, and I will never do it again.

Since we knew that same ppl we explained on the invites to please provide one gift for each child, or no gifts at all. Everyone that I invited brought two gifts. Everyone that she invited brought gifts only for her daughter. We sang "Happy Birthday" to both at the same time, and we were rushed out since we had 45min to start and finish. The girls were so rushed, they didn't even enjoy themselves.

She and I both agreed that we would never do that to our kids again. Not to mention she was very upset that her friends didn't bother to bring gifts for my daughter. Everyone new it was a joint party, and that they are sisters.

Good Luck

Another idea for gifts, so people don't feel like they are required to bring one for each girl is to have a donate birthday. My youngest two are 12 months and 12 days apart so we do joint birthdays as well. This year we had everyone attending the party bring one or two of their favorite books and we donated them to the MD Anderson children's library. Family members gave gifts privately and between grandparents and cousins they received plenty. We invited about 10 kids to the joint party and they all loved picking out books to bring. When the kids get older having them come with you to give the items is great. Just an idea.

Sharing a party can be SO much fun...easier on the mommies, too :)

We have done it this way..a very small cake to blow out individually and cupcakes (or petite fours) for the guests. Does not matter who goes first..or blow them out by birth order..LOL.
On invitations, I have seen "only one gift, please" and then after the party, the gifts are divided equally. Personally, I feel better not even mentioning gifts on the invitation at all. If a gift has a tag on it, distribute it accordingly and if not, divide them out equally. Open the gifts at HOME. Have fun :)

My friend and I did the same thing for our sons first birthday.(they are 8 days apart) I made 2 small round cakes that were just for them and we had cupcakes for the kids and adults. We did the birthday song together with both of their names and opened the gifts when we got back home. Everything turned out great. There were more adults than kids. No one said anything to us about the party because all the people there were mutual friends. Hope everything turns out great!

T.

Small special cakes for each girl and a large cake to share.

Sing once, let the girls be close to each other, with their own candles and cake and let everyone sing at once using both names.

Do presents there, half the fun for the kids is presents. Let them sit and the friends will just have to watch one or try to watch both. You could alternate but I'm not sure how well that would work given ages but maybe it's worth a shot. If, however, you chose to skip gifts, Thank You notes are a MUST.

Let them have their own song, it won't take that much longer and makes each girl feel even more special. 1 large cake with cupcakes for the girls sounds great. I would wait to open presents later. With only 45 minutes of "party" time, you don't have a lot of time. Besides, what if one girl gets more presents than the other, or "better" presents. You don't want them to be upset with the other.

My only fear in doing a joint party for 2 separate families, is if someone brings only 1 gift for both girls. That could be a bit awkward.

Birthday parties are expensive, we have to save money where we can.

A 45 minute party, will not allow for gift opening, I would open the gifts at home later ( Tory Spelling did it this way on national Tv!) So i would say it is acceptable, and I feel you only have the need to sing once, and say both girls names. I would say maybe the oldest girl first, just because she was born first, but i do think that for ages 2 and 3 you are putting way too much thought into this. Children at this age wouldn't care whose name is first, as long as there is cake and presents!I think the 2 cupcakes idea is a great idea, as that way they are treated special, and the guests don't have to choose whose birthday cake they will have. However, if the birthday girls should decide to have some of the big cake and save their personal cupcake for later, I think that would be something that is allowed, and not discouraged. Hope it all turns out wonderful, Blessings, S.

My granddaughter attended a dress-up tea party (a very cute idea) for sisters (turning 5
& 3).
Each girl had a small cake iced with her favorite color (there were cups cakes for all in attendence).
There were 2 tables for presents. I brought 2 because I knew both, others just brought
a gift for the sister of their child's age.
Each sister was sung to, and all had a great time.

You have lots of advice but I'll chime in my .02!
One medium/large cake to be cut up for the moms there. One cupcake for each girl (two is too much for such tiny bodies if they're sickeningly sweet) and they have to be almost identical so there won't be a competition.
Open presents later but tell the moms it's because of a museum time restriction. Send out cutecute thank you notes. Ask a friend or family member to be your picture-taker during the cake time because you'll be stressed and busy, and then you'll get in some pictures.

As long as the kids are also being sung to at home with their families (getting to be the center of attention during their birthday time), then I think I'd just sing once at the party.

As for gifts, some kids lose interest, but some kids just can't wait to see the gifts they've picked out be opened. If you can manage it, you might consider doing gifts at the end and making it optional--tell kids if they want to watch, come into the party room, otherwise they can keep on playing, provided they have someone to supervise them in the museum (are parents coming?). We had friends do this at their backyard party for their 2 children, and I thought it was perfect--the kids doing the opening weren't in the middle of an intimidating crowd, because only a handful watched the gift opening (including my daughter, who is very disappointed if she doesn't get to see it), and the rough-and-tumble kids who'd rather play just played. You wouldn't even have to open all the gifts at that time--only those from the kids who really want to watch. If it's at the end, any parents who don't want their kids around for it at all can sneak them away at that time. Everyone could be pleased.

When I was 7, I had a joint party with my across-the-street neighbor. Although we lost touch because I moved away a few months later, I will always remember it, and I loved that we had it together.

Save the gift opening for when you are home and make a big, but separate deal out of both girls and have them help give out favors bags to child guests as they leave and say thank you for coming. Concentrate on fun for all - games, entertainment, and not just the birthday kid opening up gifts - boring for others

L., the girls are so young I think you could sing once but put both names in the song & Let them open gifts at same time. I think your idea on the cakes are great! Most people like to see the look on the child's face when they open "their gift" from them, so if you could squeeze the gift opening in right after you sing, then serve the cake, I think that would be nice.
I haven't read your other responses from moms yet, so they might give you even better ideas ;)
Have Fun!

Hi L.,
I am a mother of three. Based on my experience, I suggest singing Happy Birthday once and opening the presents at home. The kids will enjoy spending more fun time at The Children's Museum. The attention span of some children this age are very very short. I have to agree with Sharron M. Don't set your expectations too high, especially with kids ages 2 and 3. Have fun.

My niece and I just combined our little ones partys for the same reasons. Having a cake to share and then each child a single cake/cupcake is a great idea. We sang once, being that the party was mostly family and friends.

And secondly, last year I had my daughters party at the museum. They must have changed how they do things because we had our party room for 1 1/2 hrs. They did a volcano, we had pizza, cake, did gifts and then the kids were free to explore the museum. The kids may not be able to open all their gifts, but maybe a couple each.

I think you have a great idea! I too have a 2 year old daughter. My best friend's daughter turns 4 the day after my daughter turns 2. What we thought of is having one chocolate cake and one vanilla with both girls names on them and to let the younger one go first opening presents so she will be occupied while the older opens hers. that way they still get the attention and are not distracted toward what the other received. I think you have an excellent idea with the museum. You might want to let them open presents and eat before seeing the exhibits so that someone can be a runner and take everything back to the cars while the children have their attention elsewhere.
Good luck!!

H. G.

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