Friends - Brant Rock,MA

I am one of those mom's who lets her kids watch "inappropriate" movies....although, IMO they have never seen anything inappropriate, my kids haven't ever seen anything I haven't seen....everyone's standards are different and I do believe that I have the right to make my own choice about what I feel is appropriate and what isn't....thus so do you!

I would never have a problem if a parent talked to me about what they wanted/didn't want a child to watch/see while in my care.

Do not feel bad about feeling this way and just bring it up...they will probably understand...I mean really, there are a million and one things the kids can do together besides watching TV.

When my kids were 10, I let them watch Jaws! Duna-Duna-Duna-Duna

Don't let him go! It's as simple as that.

Let him invite them to YOUR house so they can have supervision and follow the guidlines you expect your children to follow. I would NOT let my child go to another house where they were allowed to watch inappropriate things!

I have stopped letting my 10 year old go to one of her friend's houses for just the same thing (but this was when they were 8). Rated R movies are the standard over there and the little girl even brought R movies to a sleepover she came to here (confiscated from her when she got here). But it's not just the movies - it's the lack of parental supervision, the language, the inappropriate comments, the older brother who is worse, etc, etc that have caused me to say "no more!" This same little girl writes curse words on the bathroom wall at school, uses foul language on the bus, has told everyone there is no Santa or Tooth Fairy (again when they were younger) and can be very mean to girls she doesn't like. So, the person who says, "who cares, it's just a movie," I would respond, if movies are the kids primary source of education then there are definitely problems. In your case, if the parents are approachable (this little girls parents are NOT) then talk to them. But my feeling is if they are letting their kids and their kids friends watch these movies without worrying then they will not be very open to your opinion. It is disrespectful to assume that it would be ok with the other parents.

Is it possible for you to discuss this issue with parents of those kids? that way even they are aware of what their kids are upto... you could also invite those kids to your house instead and have an eye on them... they are still kids they do need supervision,

If you don't think your child is doing appropriate things at another child's house, don't let your child go there. You really can't dictate what's done at someone else's house. I've been in this situation (my son being exposed to age-inappropriate things at a friend's house) and I've stopped letting him go. Instead we invite his friend over ours where we supervise this type of thing.

Can you talk to the parents? Are the kids being supervised? Explain to the parents that you don't want your child to watch that type of TV and could they please direct the kids in another direction. Have an age appropriate movie to watch or give suggestions on different programs you let your child watch. Of course the other parents need to be sensitive to this and not point out that the change in what can be watched is because of your request making your child feel bad. But if they can understand your position it can work. They might have an argument from their child but I've found that it is generally short lived when you have a plan in place, ie. a movie suggestion or another program that is popular with the kids.

Good luck,
L. M

I make it clear to the parents what my son is and isn't allowed to do. If they can't handle it..they boys come here. OR he doesn't go.
I always let my daughter (4 now) play with the nieghbors daughter who is 4 years older but no that she's getting older herself she still plays great but she says things I don't want my 4yo saying. At 8 and not my child...she can say certain things-not really bad just not things I want my 4yo saying. So they no longer play together. Not to be mean just to keep the innocence I guess.
You have to do whatever it is you need to do for your own children. If other parents let thier kids watch or do things you don't want yours doing, that's up to you and up to you to be sure it's followed through.

I imagine the other parents might be a little ticked off if you bring this up - there are very few ways to tell people "You let your kid do inappropriate things" or "You are not supervising and have no idea what the kids are doing." Either they have bad judgment, or they are clueless - it's going to be hard for them to hear what you are saying. I think the best you can say is, "I feel strongly that my child is not ready for R-rated movies" or "My child is upset by blood-and-guts violence" (or whatever the issue is with the shows they watched. Then ask, "Is there a way we can work together to choose something in advance?"

Otherwise, the kids have to come to your house where you can supervise. We were quite specific with our son - we were less concerned with him hearing bad language than with seeing sex & gore, but everyone has their own feelings about this.

Good luck - this is not an easy road to follow but stick to your standards!

We had the same issue with my son's friend. I set it up so that the other boy came over to our house. It worked out really well, since there wasn't any parental supervision at the other boy's house, and this kid liked that we (the adults) paid attention to him.
At first I'd have to check for inappropriate games, cds, movies. But he learned our rules and stopped bringing that stuff with him.

explain this calmly to the kids' mom
if that doesn't work, don't send ur kid over there
simple

IM BACKKKK!!!!!
~~~M.~~~

I would speak to the parents about my concerns. If my son continued watching movies that I felt were inappropriate while he was over there, I would stop allowing him to go over there. The friend could come to our house instead.

Talk to the moms prior to the visit and tell them your concerns making sure they realize that your son is NOT to watch that type of movie or tv show at their house. If it happens again, don't allow him to go there .

I'd try to communicate to their friends parents that you'ld appreciate them not watching those things. I'm pretty strict about certain TV shows also and I have a no tv policy when friends are over. They watch enough that when friends are there it's time to play. Also, if your kids know it's not allowed at your house, they should be able to say no to watching certain things at others houses.