Friend Thinks Her Son Should Be a Model

Updated on December 16, 2009
L.P. asks from Clearwater, FL
17 answers

My friend thinks her 20 month old son should be a model. I am happy that she is so in love with her child... or at least his looks, but it drives me nuts! I have a child of my own and I am expecting another. My son looked like the Gerber Baby (or at least that's what the nurses nicknamed him when he was born). He is now a toddler and no longer looks like that, but I still think he is cute. Although I think my son is cute, I don't think he should be a model, and I especially don't drive people crazy with it. I am constantly opening my e-mail and finding pictures of my friend's child. Also, I receive text messages of pictures and when you walk in to her home, you are overwhelemed with pictures. It is really disgusting and she has tried and tried to get him into modeling, but they tell her "he's not what we are looking for." She is convinced that it is because they want normal looking children to be models and he is far from normal looking, in her opinion GORGEOUS! I am not saying he is an ugly baby, but he's just not that fantastic looking (someone stopped her at the grocery store and said "I'm so glad you decided to keep him, downs children are lots of work, God Bless you.") I'm tried of the constant conversations and pictures about her child being a model. How do I nicely tell her to lay off for a while? I don't want to tell her I think her son is ugly, as that is not the case, but I can't take it anymore!

What can I do next?

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D.F.

answers from Tampa on

I am sure her baby is a cute kid but she is over doing it a bit. However just let her ramble on and don't comment and change the subject when you can. She will realize eventually the truth or maybe her baby will be a model one day. Truth be it is no concern of yours either way. LET OT GO!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.A.

answers from Tampa on

Yes, it can be annoying. Just indulge her and grit your teeth or don't hang out with her as much. I wouldn't say anything if I were you or she'll think you're jealous, which of course you're not.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.B.

answers from Boca Raton on

I am so glad you're not my friend...
I think that you referring to your friends child as "ugly" is rude! I can totally understand how you feel about your annoying friend talk only about her child and how gorgeous he is...we all have one friend like that. But if it bothers you that much then maybe you should distance yourself from her or maybe you aren't that great of friends as you think. Don't induldge her by asking about his modeling career and change the subject to something neutral other than your kids. If there was something you were excited about for you kids, i think you would want support from your friends and also not want your friends to talk behind your back about how they thought your kids were "ugly". If it contiues to bother you then maybe your friendship isn't worth keeping. Good Luck!

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

The other posters have nice ideas. You might also consider this alternative, not so nice, but probably effective idea: Unless she knows otherwise about you, make some comments of concern about how that sort of schedule affects small children. Let her know that you would NEVER consider that for your own kids as you think it is probably detrimental overall to the well-being of the child. Particularly considering the prevalence of molestors out there looking for children. (even if that isn't what you think). Surely, she will stop with the modeling nonsense (at least to YOU, which is what you are after, right?).
Just an idea...

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J.A.

answers from Jacksonville on

Be thankful for having a friend with whom your biggest problem is her focus on her "should be a model" child. None of us are perfect and hopefully if you go off on a tangent someday, she will be there for you too.

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N.K.

answers from Miami on

Just ignore her, let her think her son is gorgeous, after all, every mom feels this way about their own child. After several modeling agencies turn him down, she'll get the hint. My boss thought his 5-year-old daughter was super gorgeous and submitted her headshots to Barbizon, who turned them down because they said she looked like an average blonde girl, and now, they have decided to instead invest in acting classes for her. Many models turn out to be actresses or many who tried out to be models but were rejected, end up having a talent at acting. You can't help the fact his mother finds him so beautiful, just don't show that it bothers you or she may do it more just to spite you and because you're feeding her need for attention, whether it is positive or negative attention doesn't matter. When you pay no attention to her cause, she will find someone else she can boast to about her son. Delete the mass-spamming emails of pictures, or skim through them in case she quizzes you on them, or you can also simply say you don't have time to go through so many pictures and emails, and hopefully she will get the hint that you have no time for something as trivial as her obsession with her son. She'll find herself a new victim in no time, I am sure.

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D.B.

answers from Tampa on

I think it truly depends on how strong your friendship is. I have some friends that I've had for years that I could say "I love you and your son, but can you let up a little." I would limit my time with a more casual friend that might be offended by my saying something. If she's this overwhelming to you, she probably is to other people as well, and she just may not realize it. You have to decide what kind of friendship you want with her and make your decision based on that. FWIW, if she only talks about her kid and you have no other basis for a friendship with her, backing off may be better for you. I'm not trying to be mean, just practical. Friendships are like romances. Sometimes you try them out, and they don't work for you long term (and just so I'm clear, I am talking about romances before you're married).

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H.K.

answers from Jacksonville on

It bugs you so much because she is over-board with it, I'm taking. Is she a first time mother?? Does the baby have Downs?? or does he just look like he could?

I have the opposite. I have people telling me I need to get my kid into modeling....and yeah - I probably could but the costs and all that goes with it...I'd rather have my kid grow up normal being a boy and not swell his head so young.

Hmmm...you could joke with her and tell her she's a little obsessed with the subject? or in time...she'll get the hint that REALLY .....he ISN'T what they are looking for. No one wants to hurt her so that's a nice way to say it. Sorry that you are the one who is bombarded with it.

I wouldn't even know what to do except nod my head and try to escape when she starts on it. Try hanging out less....or overwhelm her with links to baby modeling.. (ha - just kidding). She'll be so busy trying to make each submission deadline -she'll be too busy to hang out!

She will figure it out for herself without anyone actually hurting her feelings.

Try changing the subject or making your visits with each other farther in between. Holidays are here - good time for a break!

Sorry I don't really have a great answer for you - hope someone else does.

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H.M.

answers from Tampa on

I have a feeling you are pretty young. Let you friend think she has created a model and send as many pictures as she wants. Who cares, really? Such a silly thing to be so up in arms about. Be happy all your children are healthy and focus on raising kind,well rounded adults. Not petty ones.

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M.S.

answers from Sarasota on

I think you should back of from the friendship if she is getting on your nerves that badly.

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C.S.

answers from Lakeland on

Hi L.. I find that parenting babies and small children really strains adult female relationships, especially when parenting styles clash. Whether it's about birth choices, breastfeeding, discipling, or bragging (which annoys me to no end as well!), it's just hard!

Cut your friend some slack. Smile and nod. When your kids are 7 years old, I think it will get easier and you'll both be commisserating about stuff like grades, homework, and sports. Hopefully, you'll be more on the same page about bigger-kid topics (if she's not still trying to get him in modeling).

Good luck!

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L.N.

answers from New York on

Lindsay, nothing wrong with you not commenting on anything she says about her son. Say nothing, no questions, no remarks nothing. eventually she'll realize that you're just not getting into it and she will let it go.
on the other hand, she needs a hobby other than printing pictures. :) Tell her she needs a hobby when she's not talking about her son. she'll look at you weird, you smile, look around and say: come on, you know you need a hobby.

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S.G.

answers from New York on

I'm less concerned about your friend than that horrid person who said "so glad you kept him" WHT!!! people are so rude! Sorry, to answer your question, I agree with the other poster it's best to ignore it, delete the emails without opening or tell her the emails with photos are crashing your PC and so you don't "miss an important email from her" can she not include you in the photo emails ;-), she will get the hint and it will die down a bit when she realizes that modeling agencies aren't banging down her door to sign her son. Good luck!

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J.M.

answers from Pensacola on

I feel your pain. My sister is the same way about her children. Every other call is about something SO cute that they did, tons of email with pic's etc. It's just annoying. Personally, I just deal with it. She gets irritated when I don't comment on emails she sends me with pics so now the only thing I reply with is 'cute'. And when she calls me up about something so cute one of her kids did I just comment 'yeah, i liked it when one of my kids did that too'. So I guess my advice to you is if she's a good friend you want to keep, just deal with it. If she's not someone you want to keep around, start letting the emails and phone calls pass.
Best of luck to you!
Jen M - mom of 3 boys ages 6, 3, & 2

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J.J.

answers from Tallahassee on

Hi L.,

Aside from your annoyance, what big crime has your friend committed? So she's in love with her child? You know, it is her child. And I have a feeling that if some bitter person (hint, hint) tried to tell us how to raise and feel about ours - we wouldn't react well. Obviously I don't know this other person, so she may be in the wrong in some way, but meanwhile, you don't sound very "friendly" at all. Maybe you two aren't suited to be friends and mothers at the same time. And... you do know it is't a competition, don't you? You had the Gerber baby after all... What's the difference?

Think about it.

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M.S.

answers from Miami on

I don't think you should say anything.... If you think it's annoying, just put a little distance between you and her. I once bursted my friend's bubble about a completely different situation and then felt really guilty about it.

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S.W.

answers from Miami on

Never pay a fee to an agent. I know it's a compliment; but your child is more precious than the wolves' appetites. That's the business. Please don't be scammed.

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