Friend Going to Boot Camp

Go buy some greeting cards and write in them as if it was present time so he has something to open each week. Make up a box with goodies and sweet things for him to open at the halfway point.

Hi J. ~

Write him, write him, write him!!!!! My son just finished and he said the main thing that got him through the day was letters from family and friends! But, only letters in plain envelopes and not too many photos (maybe just one of his daughter). My daughter was putting heart stickers all over the envelopes and sending lots of photos. He asked her not to because he was getting "scuffed up" about it. He got a severe injury to his finger and got very depressed. He said the letters "saved his life". Make sure you are there for his graduation, if at all possible. This is a VERY BIG DEAL! You cannot even imagine what these guys go through!! You can call 2 weeks before the graduation and reserve lodging in a base hotel (call early, as they fill up quickly). It's not very expensive and you'll be right there on base the day of graduation and he can come back to your room if you sign him out on a family pass. In your letters, tell him about day to day activities. Make sure you ENCOURAGE him - tell him you are PROUD of him, let him know that even though this is tough right now, it will be over soon and he'll be sronger for it. THANK HIM for serving his country! I wish you all the best!

~ K.

Hi J.,
I am a mama and a grandma. I have sent my brother off to boot camp and my son off to boot camp. And the main thing I can remember them really wanting is care packages from home. Home made cookies, anything made with love from you, his daughter,stuff like that helps them get through the long weeks. I know "snail mail" doesn't seem like fun but, its like a hug from home. So..I would suggest stamps and lots of them. He can take them with him. And of course a few pictures of your daughter. I don't know what your religious preferences are but, a small bible is a good thing too. Just some ideas. And..a nice long walk on the beach would be a blessing too..I would bet! Hope this helps!

I am a nvy wife, but Iused to be active duty. While in boot camp, the only contact we had with the outside world was the mail and a rare occasional 3 minute phone call. You didn't mention which service, but understand that you may not be able to see your husband until graduation day. Take daily pictures that you can make into postcards and send one every day. There is no limit to how much mail a recruit can receive, but I remember that the cookies my mom sent were confiscated. Be supportive and tap into your local support groups for military wives.

the instructors are hardest on the people who stand out so if i were him i wouldn't bring anything extra and if i were you i wouldn't send anything except letters. seems boring but standing out in basic is much worse than boring.

Hey J.,

It looks like the father of your daughter has already left.. but I just wanted to warn you NOT to send him baked goods or anything to eat in general while he's in bootcamp. Drill instructors like to do mean things like force the soldier to eat the entire package in one sitting and then make them go run until they puke. You can't really send much more than letters while they are in bootcamp because they can get in trouble for having mostly everything! I'd be surprised if he's allowed to wear the necklace you got him! ..I hope so! My heart goes out to you right now though. I too am raised a baby alone right now. My husband left for Iraq three weeks after our son was born and he will be back next August in 2009 when our son is a little over a year old! If you need some military S.O. support let me know!

JUst spend time together doing things that he likes to do. Show him how much you love him and appreciate him. Share your time with his friends and family (if he wants to). Take lots of pictures.

It looks like you've already received some great advice and planned lots of special stuff. I just wanted to add about sending treats - either send enough for everyone to have some or enough for just him. My husband said in his basic training that the TI's would make the people eat the entire shipment of goodies by themselves if there wasn't enough! That may not be a regular thing, but it's definitely something that non-military folks wouldn't think about! You may want to send a small goodie bag (maybe 6 or 8 homemade cookies) first and then ask him later if it would be appropriate to send a larger shipment for his entire group. I did that when my husband was deployed recently - his unit was very grateful! I also used my Food Saver appliance since my cookies were traveling 3500+ miles. My cookies always arrived in pristine condition while the others arrived as a tin of crumbs (but you know they ate them anyway!).

Otherwise, snail mail is like gold when you're away with the military. Send everyday snapshots, pictures your daughter has made (or her handprints if she's too little to color), and just daily chatter. The mundane things of every day life is often what they miss!

Pictures are a BIGGIE! My daughter just came home last year and she still says the pics I sent her were the best. I also used these real small envelopes and would put things in them like, comics, leaves from our yard, coins I bought from the Christian store, pogs or anything small with a happy memory from home. I wrote on the outside of the envelope "Happy Thoughts" and stuck it in the letter envelope. All of her buddies would crowd around to see what her "happy thought" of the day was! She really loved those.
These are things to do after he leaves. I did send her with a cross and a party. I took lots of pics of her with her friends. She really treasured those. Best of luck.

hello

boot camp can be tough, i do agree with what some of these people say, dont make your "friend"stand out. the TI will pick on him and make his life harder than it needs to be.

write to him but, from what you have made it sound like he is only a friend and not your partner/hubby or what ever so here is where you need to tread a fine line. because going to boot camp is where you get beaten down and built back up. this place is where they make or break you.

what i am trying to say is be clear about how you feel about this man and dont string him a long. because this is one time that men become volunrable.

just send him letters with pictures of your child only. this way you can limit how much he will be circled out

believe me i know.

give him a chance to take his daughter out and let them have a good time.

I went through basic (leaving my 11 month old behind with my husband). Be SURE to write to him...even the most ordinary letter is wonderful. I lived for info about the daily happenings in my daughter's (and husband's) life...from what she ate that day to her crawling in the grass.
I'd avoid sending anything that isn't needed. So, send socks and stuff but nothing to eat. The rules differ by platoon/drill sergent. Ours would just box it up and lock it away until graduation. Others would dump it on the ground for everyone to jump in and grab whatever they could. So, you never know. He'll be able to tell you if they get to eat theirs or not.

Self-addressed, stamped envelopes would be nice! They do have places to buy more stamps/envelopes. But, since you're usually writing letters by flashlight under the blanket, it would save a step. Also, it prevents others from stealing your stamps! :)

Ours limited the number of pictures we could have (5 at a time). So, I'd have to mail old ones back home when I received new ones.

Good luck to him!

You didn't mention which service he is going into, but when I was in basic training for the Air Force they made he remove my cross. Make sure you send lots up nice upbeat letters once he is gone to keep his spirits up while he is away. I found it to be much more of a challenge mentally then physically and I wasn't the type that stayed close to home before I enlisted. I think doing some nice low key things would be really great so he can spend some quality time with the people he loves. Maybe you guys can do something with your daughter like take her to the zoo. It will give him a great memory to hold onto while he is away from her. He is going to be going like the energizer bunny while in bootcamp so I wouldn't really plan a whole week of things for him to do, but that is just my opinion. Best of luck to you all.

Getting him to spend as much time with his daughter as possible. Also its not what you can do for him before he goes its what you can do for him while he is there. Make sure you get him to write you a letter or have his recruiters information that way you can get his address to WRITE him, and have his child write him. Believe me this will be amazingly helpful to him, alot of the fathers in my bootcamp division made it through with the support of their families back home.... make sure he knows he's loved. That will be helpful when he is gone. Good luck! to you and him.

Hi, J.! It's so hard when the guys are in the military. My DH has been in since I met him, and it has it's blessings and hardships. I let my husband decide how he wants to spend his time before he leaves for deployments. I make all of his favorite meals during his last couple of weeks, because I know he'll spend the next few months living off of MREs (meals ready-to-eat). My DH does not like spending time with friends or at get togethers before he leaves for a period of time. So, we just spend quality time together at home cuddling on the couch while we watch football or movies. However, you are not married to him, so you may not exactly want to do the cuddling thing...lol. Since every man handles time away differently, I would just ask how he would like to spend the time he has.

This time that my DH is leaving (which is VERY soon) is different than the rest. Now, we have a son who is only 6 months old. The last time he was away, I was still pregnant. So, this is his first deployment of being without his son for so long. I don't know the age of your daughter, but for my son's age, I have my DH feed him, change his diaper, hold him when he's upset. These are usually mundain activities with a baby, but that's how babies become so close to their parents and build a bond and trust. My worry is that my son will not remember my DH when he returns, even though he's not away for too long. You may want to encourage more caregiving activities between your daughter and her father. Allow them that bonding time that is so precious before he leaves.

Anyway, I'm rambling at this point. If you need any support with him going away, let me know. It's stressful at times, but it's much easier to get through when you are able to talk to other military wives, girlfriends, etc.

You may want to check the military.com discussion forums. There are many different discussion topics that are discussed by wives, active duty servicemen/women, family members, friends, etc. It's a wonderful way to get advice and feel like there are others out there who know what you're going through. You can find or ask suggestions on how to handle the topic of daddy being away with your daughter.

Best wishes to him, you and, especially, your daughter!
K.:)