Friend Advice - Los Angeles,CA

Well, she's pregnant - she's probably doing lots of doctor's appointments right now and getting the house ready..

So I would take the present to work with me and make an effort to catch up with her and give it to her...

If you have her home address and can't catch up with her at work - then mail it to her...don't over think it...and don't stress over it...she's busy..

I am confused... do you work together? Can't you just give it to her at work? If not, then mail it to her.

Personally, I think you messed up by texted her that you were bailing out, instead of calling her. Whenever people text me at the last minute to flake on something, it makes me think they are lying and/or found something better to do, but didn't have the guts to call & tell me directly.

Remember, that she is pregnant, and hormonal, and stressed, and busy, and she may have taken your not attending the baby shower personally. Either way, get the gift for her, tell her you're sorry for missing the shower, and move on.

I would just mail her the gift and be done with it. If she contacts you, great. If not, you've done all you can do.

Yes, you should mail the gift. If she chooses not to acknowledge it, then it is on her...

Try to take the giftt o her in person so that if she has any issues you can see them in her face and address them.

I think that you should deliver the gift in person - either at work or to her home.
She didn't get back to you? It depends upon your msg. Did you simply say "Sorry, couldn't make it, blah blah." and leave it at that? There's no reason for her to get back to you. She got the message. Or, did you actually say "...call me back when you get this message"? If so, then I would think that was strange. but, then again, she is pregnant, just had a shower and is probably losing her mind. Don't hold it against her.

What sort of acknowledgement are you looking for here? You couldn't make the shower and let her know. That should pretty much be the end of that. You have a gift for her and her baby? Great! Take it and give it to her the next time you see her at work, or if you are on familiar enough ground with her that you have been to her home, drop it by in person (if she is on maternity leave already). No harm no foul. If you don't feel comfortable going by in person, and you won't see her at work in the next 2 weeks, then box it and put it in the mail. :)

who cares if she got back to you - just give her the gift. by mail or in person either way is fine.

Personally, I would give her the gift in person. You can't know what she's thinking / feeling or even if she got your messages! (Once I was upset with a friend for not getting back to me and it turned out that her cell had been stolen so she hadn't got any of my texts or voicemails!) Whatever you choose to do, be at peace with your decision. Best wishes.

I would try one more time to get together with her and actually give her the gift. If you don't hear anything, then mail it. I would try not to feel offended or like she is blowing you off. I remember what I was like in those couple months before having a baby - completely frazzled, so much to do, so stressed out about any number of things, and not quite myself. It's probably nothing personal. And honestly the more you apologize the more annoying it could be for her. You've apologized, you're a good friend, just try and give her the space she needs right now for whatever she's feeling.

I think it would be sweet and caring for you to bring it to her in person and show your love for her.

Try to give her the gift in person and leave it at that. Next time a situation like this comes up (hopefully not a root canal), I would pick up the phone. I agree with KiKi on texting. I absolutely loathe getting last-minute texts, particularly when it comes to getting out of something or worse yet, an almost-missed birthday.

Oh gawd, I hate these things.
Not you, the conundrum of it.

Okay, you called her ahead of time to apologize to her. Sorry, you texted her. You also called her 3 days later, to reiterate why you could not make it. You tried twice and apologized.
You did what is polite. You did your duty.
She did not reply. Maybe she is busy.
Who knows.
But you did your apology.
So don't feel guilty.
You had a root canal. You could not help that. It is extenuating circumstances. Medically.

Now, you have a gift for her.
The usual way to give it to the recipient, is person to person.
That is the most, assumed thing to do.
So you call her. Say you have a gift for her. Then, you ask her WHEN can you bring it by for her?
She will tell you when.
Then, you go and give it to her in person.
After all, this is a "friend" you know from work.
So... why mail it to her?
She is in your vicinity.

If... you call her about giving the gift for her and get her voice-mail, leave a message. If she does not call back, well, the egg is on her. It is her... ball to catch and follow up on and call you.
If she does not call back, then YOU, take her gift and bring it by her at work. You said you know her from work, right? So you just give it to her at work.
That is the most common thing to do. And what co-workers will often do.

Here's the thing: If you have to ask "what we think of her not responding to your phone call", then that to me says you felt kinda dissed. Do you feel that way? Personally, if you sent a txt and called her, and she is a "friend", she could have certainly responded back to you. Isn't that what friendship is?? Give and take....both give both take. If anything else, you just had a root canal and something like, "Wow! Hope you feel better soon and I look forward to seeing you when you are better." would have been nice.

But as far as the gift, it probably doesn't matter to her exactly how she receives it but I do enjoy getting mail myself. Hopefully she will send you a lovely thank you note.

And I hope your mouth is feeling better!

Bring the gift to work or mail it to her home.
She is probably busy with all of her preparations for her new baby & filling out/mailing Thank You cards, etc....
If it were me, I wouldn't take it personally at all ~
After all, as fellow Mamas know, we can get very busy at times, ESPECIALLY when preparing for a new arrival.
Good luck, Mama! :-)