My ex partner wants me to agree in courts to fly our now 1 year old baby girl to him every month, which means she would be on an airplane twice with the trips on the plane taking an hr and a half plus another hours travel by car... do you think this in her best interest? I have told him that i am not quiet sure on this and think that it may be too frequent and dont know how she would handle it but he has just gotten angry... I want to do what is best by our daughter... has anyone else flown this much with their little ones and how do they cope?
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He is offering to pay for all the airflights so it is not going to cost me financially and i will be travelling with her as she is only one. Its good to know that other little ones have travelled so well.. i dont mind doing it if were maybe every couple of months but every month im not so sure about. The unpacking and packing of it all and im the one having to travel by car for just over an hr to get to the airport then an hour and a half by plane. Im trying as hard as i can to support the relationship between our daughter and her dad and we have been getting along really well but as soon as i dont agree to something then he threatens me with courts and says that he will pay thousands if he has too to get what he wants. He flys to us once a month for four days on his days off and is now wanting us to fly to him once a month for the four days as well so he can see her more and im fine with him seeing her more but im just not sure about that amount of travel and personally i don’t like travelling especially with a little one as it can get quiet stressful at times. Im hoping we can come to some sort of an arrangement where it is maybe every couple of months. See how we go. Wish me luck.
You or the child's partner (DO NOT ) have the baby's best interest in mind....how much hate is going on here???? I hope both of you can just push back and do what is best for this baby...what a CRIME.
How does he expect her to arrive on a plane? Does he expect her to fly at one year old by herself? I don't actually think the airlines will allow that. Are you supposed to take her? Who will pay for the plane tickets?
Ignore that he is getting angry. He's being a jerk. Deal with the lawyer and don't talk to him about this. He should be the one getting on a plane and coming to your town. He can rent a hotel room for the weekend and be with her.
I don't know ANYONE who does this, E., shuttling off a one year old every month onto a plane. That is just nuts.
Dawn
depends, did you move or him....and are you going to be burdened with the cost...like you have to buy 2 round trips to bring her there and get her....or will you have to get a hotel....this is a huge time commitment and expense if you will have to do it all.
How about one month you bring her...next month he comes to her. Then only every other month do you and her have to travel. I would vote for him coming to her....easier for a grown up to travel then for you with a baby. That just sounds crazy...plus are you going to schlep all the baby stuff with you. Sounds like a way to introduce some un-needed, unwanted stress into your life that could be avoided.
Personally I think she is too young to have overnights away from Mom. Dad should fly in and take her for the day and return her home at night. Everyone thinks the child should have to do all of the shuffling, and I disagree. If parents had to do the same amount of shuffling would they get divorced in the first place? It is not fair to a child to have all of that disruption in their life.
Sounds excessive for a one year old. I wonder how the courts would feel. It isn't about what he wants but what is best for the one year old. Ask your pediatrician if they have an opinion. This can help you decide if it is a good idea or not. Personally I think, for now, it is excessive and he should continue to fly in most of the time with you taking a few trips a year. I would be very hesitant to agree to this in a court order because what if she gets a cold as most toddlers do. That isn't good for flying but will you be held in contempt if you say "no she is sick." It just doesn't sound like it is best for her. I would also research to see what frequent flying does to the body and research if any medical studies have been conducted using young children. There are dangers to frequent flying among adults so a developing child would be at more risk.
Flying every month may not be ideal, but I don't see what a better option is. Even just once a month seems like way to little for a one year old to see a parent. It is in her best interest to have a relationship with both parents (as long as they are loving/non abusive) In figuring all of this out, I think keeping that in mind is the most important thing. You didn't really provide another option, can he fly to see you once a month? Is there any possible way for the two of you to live closer together? Maintaining a relationship between her and her father should be a priority.
It will be much harder on you than on the baby. I've traveled a lot with the kids all through their baby and toddler years. I just took all three (5, 3 and 2) to Seattle alone and had the layovers from hell both ways (love it when our podunk airport sends is EAST to New Jersey to THEN fly all the way across country-happens a lot for decent fares). I was beat up, but they were fine. They like traveling. Sorry for the huge hassle to you, but imo, your baby would have no trouble with it. I look back on the days of flying with only one baby and think of what a piece of cake it was!
It really is a personal decision. If I was you I would definitely not put anything in writing if you decide to try it. I personally think its alot to ask of you to travel once a month for his relationship with your daughter and a judge would probably agree. I have never heard of a judge imposing on a mother who had primary placement any instructions more than driving about an hour. The non primary parent usually has to travel or they do a couple week long visit during summer with plane travel. Don't forget that there may be times when she has a head cold and it wouldn't be a good idea for her to fly. If you put something in writing he will have something to use in court if you choose to skip a visit. Be very careful.
You need to look forward/ into the future with this... what if you have another child?Can you afford the ticket to take her too? What if you get a job, or change jobs.. are you going to be able to take all this time off to fly out with her once a month?
He's the adult - he should be doing the flying.
NO! NO! NO! NO!....has he just lost his mind? really? there is no way i would let my child travel alone!...let him get angry-pretty dang selfish n stupid to even think of that!!!..imagine the fear of her traveling alone-being cared for by strangers-not to mention-kidnapping,child molesters,etc.would you let her go to the park by herself,or a walk? let him get as mad as he wants-this is your childs safety n well being your talking about.tell him to travel back n forth-if he loves her that much hed do it without a 2nd thought.
sounds like hes pretty darn controlling-quit feeding into his bullying and just say....NO!!
Speaking from experience, he might think he will get his way in court just because he has money, but don't fall for his threats. I am very close to someone who went to court for visitation with only legal aid attorneys to support her, and the father had a very expensive lawyer. She won and he lost.
Frequent flying is not going to harm your daughter. My son has flown domestically and internationally since he was 2 months old and he is now (mostly) a great traveler. I would look at this as a benefit, as it is less time in the car. My son does much better on the plane.
You really only have to worry about motion sickness and the pressure on her ears. If she doesn't get sick in the car, more than likely she won't get airsick. You can handle the pressure changes with a pacifier or bottle while taking off and landing. My son never had ear pressure issues, and it's possible your daughter won't either. You can always bring toys to entertain her, but it's only an hour and a half.
I'd give it a try and if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. If you are modifying a court order, make sure you have an attorney who makes sure that this is a possible option, not the only option. Good luck!
