For Divorced and Remarried Moms

Well I can answer sort of from the other perspective. My husband and I each have a child from a prior relationship but we were not married to our child's other parent. My son's father is not part of our lives so it's a non-issue in my marriage. My husband's daughter's mother, though, is very much an ongoing part of our lives and I can't imagine not talking about the issues he (really, WE) have with her. Her decisions affect my stepdaughter/his daughter and she is as much a part of my family as my bio kids, so why wouldn't I want DH to keep me in the loop regarding what she's up to? I think that you and your husband should openly talk about your ex. He is a part of your children's lives and a part of BOTH of your lives now and always will be.

Well.....I'm not remarried but yeah I vent to my SO about my ex. I try not to always be talking about him or ALL of his faults, but he is the father of my 2 kids, therefore, he is a big part of our lives (like it or not). He is not the best father so I do tell my SO some of the things that he does just cuz I'm so frustrated and cuz he is so involved in my life that I can't imagine not talking to him about the bad things as well as the good things.

I have asked him if it bothers him for me to talk about the ex so much and he says no. I can only go on that and hope it doesn't bother him!

I had a terrible first marriage and I told myself if I ever remarried I'd marry my best friend. We've had ups and downs anyway but I feel I can talk to my husband about anything. My ex has been a thorn in our side more times than I can count, mental and vindictive BUT I have been able to lean on my now wonderful husband and talk about my ex and his bad habits and such, it's good actually bc my husband helps me work out my old pain and how much stuff is still there. Some men are really insecure and can't talk about their woman's ex b/c they get jealous and can't deal with that feeling properly. My husband somehow gets over it. Look, your ex is part of your past, you should be able to speak about your past and since you married this one, there's a good reason for it, right? Surely you can work through your past with your present!

If the topic comes up, it comes up.
But I don't just randomly vent to my husband about my ex any time he crosses my mind.

i vent to my fiance about my daughter's father (we were never in a relationship) but he sees everything for himself and he usually starts the venting before i can. he vents about his ex to me too. i know pretty much everything that went on. and he keeps me informed as to what's going on. she's a friend of mine now, so i vent to him about her too. its an interesting thing i guess. lol