For ADULT EARS Only

I try not to discuss things I don't want the kids privvy to in front of them. If there is a lot of "cover noise" that's one thing, but when it's quiet, then myself and the other adult can either go to a different room or wait until later.

Kids don't need to be and shouldn't be privvy to everything. They don't have the life experience to put things into their proper context or to keep their mouth shut if the subject is confidential.

Pretty early on, as we did not want to have her roll out something inappropriate when she started talking. Also, little kids cannot distinguish exaggeration from reality so you may scare them with something an adult understands to be a joke or an exaggeration.

If you need to talk about something that might upset a child, distract them, discuss it in code, step out for a minute, etc.

Guess I'm the minority yet again. But depending on the subject matter not a lot of censorship in our house. The above would not have been censored in my house. It would have been freely spoken about.

I am always telling funny stories about my 3 y/o cause frankly despite trying she picks up on things from EVERYwhere. “Only adults can say F*** & S***” is my favorite along with “Spoiled little rich girl” (BTW this is from princess and the frog) Disney is notorious for great, not so kid friendly, depending on context, phrases. We explain (and try not to laugh currently) that they are not ok to say and move on but you have to just be aware that kids are sponges at ALL ages and that you have to just pay attention to what you say, what you listen to and learn to explain when they have questions about things they’ve heard

Well gee, now maybe the Mom will realize, in hindsight, that what she said in front of her daughter, affected her. Negatively.
And hopefully, the child did not take it "personally" that the Mom actually couldn't deal with the "sight of her."

The Mom, could very well, talk to her daughter and clarify.

Each child is different, and a parent, USUALLY knows their child well enough to know what they can or cannot say, in front of their own child.

I have always watched what I said and how I said it around my children and others. From the minute they came, they were very impressionable to me. You don't have to wait til your alone, but if its a serious, sensitive topic---then yes, it can and needs to wait.

I definitely believe it is harmful to have children hear adult problems etc. They just can't handle it and shouldn't be expected to either!

Our home practice is to have most family/adult conversations in front of the kids to show them how adults can calmy and rationally talk through an issue.

Most. Obviously we all have conversations we deem "offspring exempt". :)

Wait, she said this about the daughter in front of the daughter?

That would really depend. To many questions for this setting. I am a big one for open discussions in front of kids, but those often require open discussion WITH the kids as soon as possible after to help them understand and process.

There are some things that should not be discussed in front of kids. If the conversation you reference indicates that the daughters' permanent appearance was damaged then no this should not have been said in front of her. If it was a story about how very worried mama struggled to handle the trauma to her child who got better then yes, it is fine. See the difference?

I would say inapproriate if the dd was not engaged in something that would cause her not to be listening, does that make sense, If 2 kids are playing and making up stories or something i'm a little freer to talk, if its' one kid or two kids coloring then no.

I say inappropriate to your example because hearing that could make the girl feel bad about herself and make her scared of future surgery/drs.

We have friends that are scared of the water and always said exactly that infront of their kids. guess what kids are scared of the water too. why wouldn't they be mommy and daddy have shown them it's scary.

oh so to answer you, over the age of 1.5 yrs try to limit it. through distraction or what ever.

I started really paying attention to and watching what I said in front of my daughter when she was old enough to start repeating things. Like make believe playing but using a story I told my husband that I didn't realize what she had heard. We are both very careful because I never want to get "that" phone call from school about something she overheard and decided to share.

I agree with Sharon H. Because the topic was about the girl, her perception of what was said needed to be considered before talking about the surgery. Once it slipped out, then the adults needed to clarify the statement so that she learned about her mother's struggle instead of focusing on her appearance.

If the talk is about a child then the child needs to be involved in the conversation when they can hear what is being said. It is inconsiderate to talk about someone and not include them in the conversation.

I too suggest that one has to be careful what one says in front of children once they're talking and repeating what they've heard.