My 6 and 1/2 year old boy was diagnosed with food allergies, and was diagnosed with allergic colitis, early on. The doctor thought he outgrew them and was eating everything at age 4 and 1/2 ( for about 9 months). It was clear by 5 that he had not outgrown them and had to be taken off of wheat, dairy, cane/corn sugar. I changed my house over to meet these dietary needs. The toll was great on his stomach and liver and he was hospitalized for a liver biopsy this summer. The liver ws inflamed still but otherwise seemed to be healing. At out last doctor visit that we had about three months ago, the doctor was amazed at how healthy he had become, weight was in control and blood counts better, on the allergen diet. But he has had a hard time in public sticking to his diet. He is sneaking food, hiding it, and seems to be thinking about it a lot. When I let him learn from natural consequences, he will get stomach aches, complain but say it was worth it. The toll on his stomach and liver is slow to come. I put him on a behavior chart and he gets points for eating healthy. He is willing to lose his points.
I find myself getting angry. And he is going around telling people he can eat what he wants now (that he is on a chart and will just lose his points). We have tried some therapy and he talks about how hard this is. Any other ideas, referrals, not to worry??Thanks.
i think you need to somehow make him understand that if he doest take care of his body hes going to have problems. maybe show him a run down car? sure he can get by cheating but its causing damage and all those little damages will add up. good luck this isnt easy. also find a good allergy group . look at a natural foods store for some ideas. whole foods should be helpful!
Poor thing! OK. My thought is he could be needing to feel "normal". (My daughter has a peanut allergy and feels left out too many times because people just don't understand the allergy). Since he is sneaking food, could he possibly be craving certain things? Is he sneaking sweets? If so, you may want to go to a health food store or look up recipes that do not contain the ingredients he is allergic too. FAAN.com has recipes. They also have a support group. This may help both of you. Another thought could be he is having a growth spurt. When my kids are going through one, I feel like I cannot keep enough food in the house. If he has some quick, ready to eat items this may help him stop sneaking the food.
Being a little kid and having food allergies is NOT fun. They feel different, and they didn't do anything. I hope I've been helpful.
I wish I had an easy answer. Liver damage is really scary. Have you read about candida at all? There is a book I am reading currently called The Body Ecology Diet and it does talk about supporting the liver, etc. which might help you tweak the diet and understand what is happening or why. Just a thought.
I would try to avoid public eating as much as possible. If he is in school, he should be supervised to not eat any birthday party treats, others' snacks or lunches, etc. and you should send lunch, snack, and treats for him from home. Hard as it may be, birthday parties should either be avoided or you should attend with him and bring something similar for him to eat along with his peers.
There are websites to find gluten-free restaurants like glutenfreeregistry.org, and calling ahead of time and talking to the chef is very helpful, and most are very willing to accommodate special diets. We reserve eating out for special occasions, though sometimes you can find a small restaurant that is willing to work with you, especially if you become "regulars." We love Honey Cafe in Glen Ellyn for this (they have cupcakes too!)
Baking things ahead of time and freezing them for b-day parties, class parties, etc. is a great idea. There are lots of websites and blogs out there geared toward specialized diets- since there are more and more kids with allergies, etc. Try googling for GAPS, SCD, Body Ecology (BED) Diet, etc. and you will come up with a lot of great copy-cat recipes. Some will taste great and some will not- but don't get discouraged.
We have been gluten-free, sugar-free, pasteurized-dairy free, yeast-free, organic... oh the list goes on and on... for a year now. It has not been easy, but I have managed to learn to make cupcakes and fudge and ice-cream and all those things kids want to eat to feel normal (and me too!) and still taste good. I'm not a chef, but I do love to cook. We don't do sticker charts- it's just non-negotiable for my kids' health. I hope that doesn't come across as sounding uppity- that is not what I mean- what I mean is that he should not even have the option to "cheat."
I have a blog where I blog about new recipes that I make that my kids like. I am always up for a challenge to create things for kids with special diets too- so feel free to message me or comment and I will do my best if there is something he reallllly misses, to create a copy-cat for you.
I hope you can get him healthy. I know it's really frustrating.
Hugs,
M.
www.chickiepea.wordpress.com
I am sort of in your son's shoes so to speak. I also have allergies to wheat, eggs and other things and sometimes I just really want something I can't have. Like homemade crescent rolls, or a good doughnut. Sometimes I'll "cheat" and eat one and sometimes I'm ok, for a day or so, then the cramps, headaches etc come back. I wasn't being as careful for a couple of weeks and a couple of days ago I felt like I was dying, I had the worse stomach pains and cramps I have had in a long time! I'm still not back to "normal". I don't really have any advise except to say, I know how he feels, it is hard! Even for a grownup who knows better! Good luck to you and him.
He just wants to be like everybody else. This is so hard.
Do your best not to get angry. Anger turns it all into a power issue. Him against you. In the end he will win and you will be able to control less and less what he puts in his mouth.
I suggest you keep explaining why....... Tell him you know you can't stop him from eating certain things now that he is getting older. Tell him you love him and want him to be healthy and that's why you want him to eat this way. You aren't doing it to be mean. Acknowledge his feelings.....wanting to be like everyone else. Also explain that if he does A, B, and C he will have a better chance of getting well and maybe outgrowing this.
Then, I'm afraid you will have to relinquish a little control and accept when he makes mistakes. But I suggest being sad about it and explaining why you are sad rather than getting angry...... I know, easier said than done.
Last, I'm a vitamin person. I was an adult before I even knew that allergies and low immunity go hand in hand. Do what you can to beef up his immune system to help him fend off the allergens. If I can suggest supplements for you I would be happy to.
I'm sorry for your struggle.
First, how many times to grown-ups eat/drink things that make them feel terrible? Like every holiday. Do they need "therapy? How often do you get told you can't have something then you want it even more? It is a fact of life. Bad things for us often taste good no matter what the consequences. He is 6!
I suggest feeding his body the best first. www.BestBreakfastEver.com. My kids have this every day for breakfast THEY then make better choices throughout the day. In the past 5 years that we have used this is our ONLY breakfast, they have given up junk food, no more fast food restaurants, soda is never drank and they are healthier and more alive than ever before.
Give it a shot, who knows, maybe this is the answer you are looking for.
B.
Family Success Coach
