Five Year Old Who Hates Eating at All

Updated on September 08, 2008
M.J. asks from Sacramento, CA
9 answers

Our son isn't just a picky eater, he truly hates to eat at all. We think some of it has to do with his existing conditions (ADHD and OCD), but it's been a multi-year battle (since about two). We've tried the laid back approach, which resulted in him choosing not to eat (whoever said kids won't let themselves starve never met our son). Now, we sit with him through meals (1-2 hour process with him each meal) and remind him to take bites, with some incentive tied to eating. This consumes 4-6 hours of our day.

His doctors are aware of the problem and recommended medication changes. We swapped out his OCD medication for one known to boost appetite significantly for most people, which of course, didn't do a thing. We also tried taking him off his ADHD medication, but he was literally bouncing off the walls so much, getting him to sit or focus on anything was impossible, let alone on something he hates to do.

The whole thing is depressing. He hasn't gained a pound in a year and the doctors are alarmed. We're trying to feed him the "bad" foods that pack on the pounds, but our son just isn't into food. Treats don't excite him, nothing about food excites him. We've given up altogether on even addressing other issues, like not eating veggies, because we're focused on just getting him to eat at all.

Has anyone else gone through this? I've searched online and can't find anything close to what we're going through. Would love any support and ideas (esp. ones that don't involve medication).

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all of the ideas! A good range of ideas here and I'll take all seriously. For now, we've decided to ease up on the eating issue for a few days and let him take charge and see how it goes. Our current theory is that this is a form of attention for him and if we remove the battle, it may improve.

We know ADHD medications can dull appetite, but he had this issue well before he started medication. And since he's so out of control without medication, it's just not an option to eliminate or reduce it ... he'd be back to being kicked out of school, parents saying mean things in front of him, him being sad and miserable. It's been life-changing for him to have the medication for his condition. (Please, no more anti-med e-mails ... thanks)

I so appreciate everyone taking the time to respond. I'm going to think about all that's said here as we continue to figure out next possible steps.

Thanks!

More Answers

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J.W.

answers from Sacramento on

A thing to consider is you child could have Sensory Integration where he could be under or over sensitized. People who are sensory integrated are ones who may hate the texture of a food so they will not eat it. My niece has this condition and it included be overly sensitive to the way her clothes felt on her, how her shoes felt, and she has also been diagnosed with ocd. My sister took her to a homopathic doctor who tested her blood and found out she was deficient in some minerals. Since she has started treatment she has improved significantly. This can be an expensive remedy, and not one many mainstream doctors believe in, but you can definitely research it. I have attended several training classes on it for my preschool I work at. Feel free to contact me if you want more information.

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Smoothies may be helpful. You can add protein powder, fish oil, cabbage, etc. with favorite fruits. I have a vita mix. All of the kids come over to get smoothies....little do they know what secret ingredients are in with the fruit!
I like that you can make a meal in a blender and it takes little effort to eat smoothies or soups.....you just drink a meal down!

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S.G.

answers from Bakersfield on

Dear M.,
God bless it all, you have the patience of a saint. I recommend you find a hypnotherapist in your area, some specialize in children, but if you don't have a specialist, find somebody who is willing to work with your son. Hypnosis can reach where no man has gone before.
Don't know where you are located, I live in Bakersfield, Ca and will be happy to work with your son if you are anywhere near. I applaud that you want to avoid medication. Medication does have its uses, but is not the answer to everything.
All my best, S.

C.C.

answers from Fresno on

My cousin went through this with her son, who has Asperger's Syndrome (mild autism). What she ended up telling him was, if he didn't eat, that would be his choice, but then the doctor would have to put a feeding tube in his tummy so that they could get food into his body so he could grow. I guess it got him to thinking and he did begin eating at mealtimes. He is still picky but he does eat.

When I was doing student teaching just out of college, we did have a few kids in the class I taught who were on medication for ADHD. They had a very hard time with eating, as I recall. Zero appetite. It sounds like your son does need his medication but maybe you can get the doctor to try something different there, or cut way back on the dose? I remember one kid's parents ended up taking him off his medication and giving him a caffeinated soda at lunchtime. At the time I thought they were crazy, but it did seem to work? He acted about the same on Mountain Dew as he did on Ritalyn.

Good luck. I hope you find a solution!

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S.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I haven't gone through your specific problem, but when my daughter went on a hunger strike I enlisted her help in cooking. I found that when she helped me cook she ate more.

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J.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi...
I'm a mother of a 22 year old who also didn't like to eat. He's 6'1", still quite thin, but he's healthy. One thing I found out is that he doesn't have a sense of smell... thus, food doesn't interest him! He literally has to force himself to eat. Didn't find that out until he was 20. Somehow, they survive!
Best of luck to you.

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M.Z.

answers from Sacramento on

did u ever try having him help make the meal, when u make the shopping list
ask him, what he would like to cook tonight! I do that with my twins, but I can't say
I know how u feel, cause I am very lucky with there appatite.

I hope this help, good luck!!!

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J.H.

answers from Sacramento on

Check out the book Healing Children Naturally by Michael Savage. Also, from what I've seen in some special needs children is they also have sensory issues. In your son's case this may be reflected in textures of food. Contact a reigonal center in your area to see if you can get some help.

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W.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I also have a 5 year old who does not like to eat. She was a former micropreemie and it was a struggle to get her to even take a bottle. She is finally starting to eat, but she is still extremely picky. She turned 5 in April and is 30lbs. We have done almost everything to get her to eat and have spent a small fortune on Doctors, feeding therapists, nutritionists, and medications. I totally understand the frustrations you are going through with your son. Please feel free to PM me if you want to bounce ideas off each other.

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