Five Year Old Aggressive Behavior and Eating Issues

My guess is that something is WAY out of balance with him, and he's displaying food issues and behavioral issues as a result. Sometimes people crave food because they are missing key nutrients, either because they aren't getting them to begin with or because they aren't absorbing them. That can be one cause, or a partial cause, of someone overeating until they are sick. Something is out of balance with you too if you have ulcers and high BP. Your son may need a neuro workup as well as a psych workup, and I'm sure there are some behavior modification techniques which would work if the rest of his body were in balance. I have friends whose son had 60 food allergies, and rages. He had an IEP as a result. They did some phenomenal things for him, and the food issues went away as did the rages, and in about 5 months the IEP was no longer needed. You could try what they did and still pursue workups, but my guess is that your child is too angry right now to participate in much in the way of workups and therapies. Would talking to someone else help you and give you some ideas/perspective? I know they'd be happy to share with you.

You need to seek out more professional opinions from Dr.s, Therapists etc. It sounds like he could be on the Autism Spectrum or have some other undiagnosed syndrome. Have you ever heard of Praedar Willi's Syndrome? I am an Occupational Therapist and have worked with many children with Neurological, Developmental, Physical and Cognitive Disorders. I have worked with Children who have Praeder Willi Syndrome, and the symptoms you describe sound very familiar. (most prominant being food obsessions and never feeling full... stealing food, eating garbage etc. as well as behavioral issues. With a diffinitive diagnosis, you might be able to find more appropriate behavioral and educational programs for him. Good Luck. Keep fighting for your son.

It would be helpful if you let us know what you are currently doing for discipline? What happens when he hits or kicks you? As well as how long this behavior has been happening? Is this a relatively new development or has he always been somewhat unruly?

I am sorry I can not be more helpful but I feel I need more details to give advice. I am thoroughly confused when you say he pooped his pants and then "refused to be cleaned up"? What exactly does that mean? You can not control your child to the extent that you are physically incapable of getting him to listen and come with you to clean him up?? How is that even possible? He is 5y/o! If this is the case and you literally have no ability to take charge then in the very least you need parenting classes, like ASAP!

I have been on this website long enough to know that there are those on here who are going to suggest you 'ignore' the behavior and to not give in to his fits. I whole-heartedly disagree with this parenting 'style'...I never think less attention is the answer, if anything I would think the child needs more attention.

~High blood pressure is also genetic...it might not be helpful or healthy for you to be blaming your son for your high blood pressure, juts my .02 cents, take it or leave it.

Has he been he been evaluated physically? I can't even begin to guess what is happening. Pursue the physical and psychological diagnosis. The behavior is beyond normal. You are doing your best. If you can get him to communicate with you at all about what might be going on in his world, or maybe find a play therapist that can, maybe that might help. I wish you the best.

ADD: definitely call your pedi tomorrow (If you haven't already don this stuff) and don't wait on the psychiatrist. If he is in kindergarten, find out if you can talk to the school counselor. I don't know if all school districts do evaluations, but contact yours and find out if THEY can evaluate him since the psych is taking too freaking long. The school district stuff, if they do it where you live, is FREE.

Do you have an appt with a neurodevelopmental pediatrician as well? That way, they can do a full evaluation and give you some insight into your family dynamics as well. To me (and I am not a doctor) he sounds live he has borderline personality or oppositional defiance disorder. It can take months to get an evaluation with a ND pediatrician so maybe you can get an appt with a neurologist? Sometimes that only takes a few weeks. Good luck, I am so sorry to hear about this.

You cannot wait months. Can u go to pedi this week for immediate help? Bring a log like u did above. How long has this been going on?

Change his diet; don't give him so much attention. Only address he behavior that hurts people or damages things. When he gets into his fits, don't shout and be aggressive yourself, it will only escalate the problem. He is still young and learning your reaction and behavior toward him. So, do the opposite of what he is doing and be calm in how you talk to him.

An evaluation needs to ne done by a professional. You can talk to your pediatrician to see if any other specialist in the area is available for testing sooner. Maybe your pediatrician could put the call in himself to SPEED things up.

I have been working w/ kids pt for 20 years. This needs more than an IEP. Your child might need meds. I am against meds. But, in some cases they are needed.

The only time i ever had a boy turn like this --He got everything he wanted. He looked me in the face and told me that his Mom gave him everything, he will always get what he wants and she thinks I'm cute no matter what I do and she laughs like I'm cute. He was a tad older than your son, but, he knew how to play the game all too well !

How does your child have an IEP w/out a diagnosis? Is is behavioral?

Make sure he gets the proper amt of sleep and not too much tv/computer during the day. Get him off of all dyes/chemicals, any diet products (Splenda, etc), lessen the junk foods--- even high fructose corn syrup is chemically processed. Could it be food allergies?

It doesn't sound as if a simple discipline plan will work at this point. What has the pediatrician been saying? This doesn't sound like it happened overnight??? How have you disciplined him in the past? Has he had a routine to follow /bedtime routine, gone to preschool, comply with your discipline in the past???? What was age 3 and 4 like?

Does he or did he ever display other symptoms than aggressiveness, overeating and toileting problems? How is his intellectual development, language skills? How was he as a baby, toddler? When did these issues start. Has he slways been in the normal range for development? Have you spoken to your pediatrician about any of this?
Honestly I believe unless you have exaggerated in your post, that you are dealing with something else than a lack of discipline or a problem with his diet. There are a slew of neurological (for example autism spectrum) psychiatric (bilpolar comes to mind, OCD...) and physical disorders (some genetic disorders, disorders of the hypothalamus) that would fit what you describe. I would start with your ped and keep asking questions until you get some answers.
Good luck.