First Time Mom Back at Work

First of all, it sounds like you are full of guilt because you've done a lot of explaining and justifying your position. Release yourself first from guilt and enjoy each moment as it comes. Take if from me, I have three all under the age of ten and I work full time. It can be overwhelming at times, but you must enjoy what you are doing while you are doing it. Pat yourself on the back for being a wonderful mother.

Don't forget to take quite time for yourself doing what YOU like to do; a bath with candles, reading a good book, going out with your girlfriends. You can give out continually if there's not being anything put back in to you.

M.

Hello. I agree with the advice not to feel guilty. As a mom, no matter what you do, we as mom's deal with guilt. Whether we stay at home, we deal with guilt because of the finances or we aren't doing enough or if we go to work we deal with guilt because feel we should be at home. Don't try to do big meals, do simple ones and ask for help with the meals from your husband. Plan the nicer meals when you are off. I personally feel no matter what, plan time for yourself even if that means going for a walk by yourself.

Limit your clientel for now. This time with your infant is fleeting and you will have time as they grow to focus on full-time work. Right now, you have full-time work with your family. Also, spend time in prayer. God will fill the need for strength. He will even help you balance it all. He is so cool!

Wish I could offer your some advice, but I was in a similar position and know how overwhelming it can feel. Just wanted to send some hugs. You're doing a great job, at work, home and as a mom!

Just remember that you can only do what you can do. The messy house, the laundry etc. will always be there and will always need to be done. I find if I make a schedule of chores, ex. Monday, white load and water plants, Tuesday, Dark load, wipe down bathrooms etc. helps you not feel so overwhelmed. If when you are done with your list, you can do more if you are up to it, if not you've done your part, now put your feet up, have a glass of wine and enjoy your husband's company.

Hi C.,

Hmm, sounds to me like you are doing a great job. I think that you should remember that while she is 12 weeks old, you are still kinda new to being a mom. It takes time and an understanding that as long as you are giving it your best then you are doing a good job!

Also, I believe that if you are where you want to be career wise, then stay there; with the understanding that if there seems to be a problem at home or it seems to negatively effect the family then you can cut back hours or look into a home based job.
Be flexable, don't be too hard on yourself, put your little girls needs first, REMEMBER to spend GUILT FREE time on you, and in the end it will work out. If, you find you are interested in a business from home feel free to contact me. I am an AVON representative and love how it has helped my family. It was the perfect balance for us.

Best Wishes!
K.
www.youravon.com/kjudy

Hi C.,

Like the others said - pat yourself on the back for WHATEVER you get done. You only have 2 hands and 24 hours, and unfortunately as Moms we may need 3 times that, but we only can do what we can. I think you're also overwhelmed because you just went back to work, and it's a new schedule. I was the same way for several weeks, but finally I got adjusted to it. What helps is once my DD is in bed by 7:15 I prep her lunch for the next day and get her bag ready to go out the door in the morning too. Once or twice a week I'll also pre-prep dinners for the next 2 nights. I make VERY simply but healthy meals - grilled chicken (which you can pre-grill a bunch at one time and then eat them throughout the week), cut up veggies for a stir-fry, etc.. Pre-planning simple dinners has made things a lot easier especially now that my DD is old enough to eat table food too. Knowing exactly what you're having for dinner helps because on the way home you'll be subconciously thinking about how you can quickly prepare it - and you'll also learn to pre-plan them ahead of time to make it easier.

I also lay out hers and my clothes the night before, do a little light cleaning up, and then SIT DOWN by 8 or 8:30 pm and relax! This can either be watching a little TV, talking with DH, catching up on computer stuff, scrapbooking or sewing (my hobbies), reading, or somehting else that lets me really wind down.

Take it easy on yourself - you're just getting the hang of a new baby, new schedule, etc.. you're doing JUST FINE especially if you're worried about doing it all - you're probably doing a lot more than you think!

T.

C.,
I'm going to echo the others' advice and say do not feel guilty. You got 12 weeks with her and that is amazing. The fact that you care enough to do the things that you're already doing for her shows you're a great mom. Whether you're a stay at home mom or are a working mama, you're never going to have enough time to do it all, so don't even try. That's been my problem -- I've been trying to do it all and be SUPER MOM, and I got tired really quick. I'm an active duty Marine with a 3 yo and a 19 month old and I realized very quickly there are some things that I have to sacrifice. A perfect meal will have to wait until Saturday if I want to spend an extra hour with my girls. I'm a fan of my crock pot! You'll get the hang of it soon, and I am sure your hubby will learn the new routine too. Engage him if you're feeling overwhelmed -- that was my biggest problem -- I didn't let my husband in on my stress until I was overwhelmed when all along he thought I had it under control.

You'll be great!

The trick is to learn time management and prioritizing.
First is to make a mental list and decide what is really important and what can wait until your day off. Yes you need clean clothes, but do they HAVE to be put away this exact moment?

For dinner, try making several meals at once and freezing them, then you just need to reheat. Its usually quicker.