Finding Time for 3 Kids Individually

I have two daughters ages 8 and 4. To have one on one time with my 8 year old, I would take half days off of work every once in a while and spend the afternoon with my older daughter while leaving my 4 year old at the daycare. This way, we get alone time together and I don't have to worry about care for my younger one. Doing this also makes my older one feels special. Whenever I did this, she would always ask me why and I'd tell her that's so we can spend time together without her sister interrupting us which she does often.

S.,

I have a 5, 3 and 18 month old and have found that altering their schedules slightly opens up small but adequate windows of one on one time. Putting them to bed in 20-30 minute increments gives that time without depriving them of their sleep. We also have "dates" where I will take one of the kids alone to do something. (You can get a sitter or trade kids with a friend to watch the others.) They all know that they get their turn at this so no one feels left out. Hopefully when your husband comes home it will help you get some more time as well.

Best wishes,
S.

Hi S.,

I would look for a church in your area that has a Mother's Day Out program and enroll the two younger kids. It is usually only for 2 days a week and is very inexpensive at most churches. My daughter and I have what we call "Girl's Day Out". We leave the house in time to have an early lunch (on weekends or we go after school) somewhere and then she picks what we do. Most of the time it Barnes and Noble for some books, coffee and a hot chocolate. When it is nice out (not 100 degrees) we will pack a picnic and blanket and go down to the bay front and just sit and read and talk. Those are the best days. I hope they never end. If you want alone time with your oldest, you will have to find a way to do it. I can tell you, you will never regret it and now is the time since you will never be able to get back this time with her.

Goos Luck,

Jo

I will probably have this problem when my girls get older, they are 2 and 3 right now. I would try getting the girls to do activties together with you involved to get them into the same stuff. Aside from that if you have family or friends here let the two stay with family while you spend time one on one with one. It is only fair to spend one on one time with each. Try getting them into clubs or sports. The older girls maybe at that age where they can spend the night at a friends house. Also if you want try the big brother/big sister programs. I hope I have offer some help and I hope your husband get well soon.
L.

I have 3 littles ones too..mine are 6, 5 & 2. What I recently started doing is on Fridays putting the younger 2 to bed at around 8. Then the oldest gets to pick out an activity (movie, beads, making banana splits) & we spend the rest of the night just the 2 of us. She really likes it & the younger ones are in bed so I don't feel guilty or like I'm leaving them out!! My oldest loves it & it makes her feel more independent.

i have 4 kids and prengnant with twins ages are 6 3 2 and 8mo's it's hard but you can do it every other day is one of the kids day in the day i just have two of them because the other two are in school so i make time just for those two and the evening i do something with the other two

Hi im a mom of 4, 23 21 17 and 7
Well i have read all the others and I would say take a little from each of what they have posted. Its hard making spiecal time for just one without leaving others out. The chores idea is a good start though for the oldest, shows her that she is a big girl and she helps her mom, but fun times are needed to, so if you have someone that can watch other two for an hour try taking her to get an ice cream or to the library, or arrands even, I know with me I gave each my kids a week with mom ... moms helper. they each hd that time where one week would be one childs week to get the goodies or go do an eent or be moms little helper, then the next week was the other childs turn. they all felt great when it wa there week and it was fair to all.
Hope this helps.
J.

S.,
Another idea is to have your older girls help you with a specific chore around the house. The older girls are big enough to help fold/put away laundry, make beds, make cookies, etc-little chores but ones they can do with Mommy. It may take twice as long with them helping but it will be twice as much time together. When I was little, I have specific chores I did with my mom and my brother had his own. My mom was a SAHM and that gave us one on one time with her. We each had things we did with my dad too. My parents didn't do date night with the kids but I have friends that do that with their older kids (3 & 5) and they love it. I look forward to doing that with mine but they are pretty little now (17 month twins).

You are doing a great job!
A.