I have been having a lot of problems with my exhusband taking my children for visitation. He had his license revoked sometime before July due to unpaid tickets. I have been hearing repeatedly from my children that he is still driving them around so I called and reported his driving to the police. He went back into court, but only got a warning and another fine.
I got divorced 3 years ago and since then my ex (Robert) has lived at 10 addresses in 3 cities. This week Robert called and told me he was kicked out of yet another house and currently is homeless. Because I'm worried about the safety of my children I decided to file with the court to have his visitation suspended until he could get his act together. However when I put paperwork in I was told by the clerk that I wouldn't get an emergency hearing and was scheduled for the middle of May. I was also told to call a lawyer line, but they're only open once a week for 2 hours. I can't find any information on getting an emergency suspension of visitation paperwork to try to file. Is there any way to speed things up?
I don't mean to seem unkind, and maybe there is more to the story, but it seems a little harsh to not allow your kids' father to see the children because he is poor. Having unpaid parking tickets and losing one's home is not usually voluntary. He's still their father. Why not have him meet you at the park or somewhere like that, that is a public, safe place so the kids can still see their father?
Just my two cents.
I'm with catherine... As long as he is not mistreating your children, and they have a roof over their head and food in their stomach while they are with them, I don't see why you want to take them away from him. They are probably the only good thing he has left. I can see you not allowing him to take them WHILE he is homeless, obviously you don't want your children sleeping in a shelter or on the streets... but I don't think you should take them away all together.
This is a hard situation to understand, till you are the one living it. I have and am living it. I refused to allow my ex to put my son in any car he drove in. My son knew it was forbidden and he was not to get in the car from a very young age. He was to call me and I would get him. No questions asked. I explained to my ex what would happen to our son if he was pulled over. It never sunk in how scared our child would be to watch his dad be put in handcuffs and shoved in a patrol car. Then for our son to be with a stranger and taken to a strange place where he knows no one. You will also have to explain to CPS why you allowed him to take your son without a license. I could not risk it and told my ex I would call the cops every time he put my son in a car he was driving. That scared him enough to knock it off. I also informed the childcare center that it was on them if they allowed him to take him. When he was a baby, my ex refused to use a car seat. I informed the childcare center and they put a stop to that fast.
My ex lived in some scary homes for a long time. I understand why you are worried. I flat out refused visitation after awhile. I told him to take me to court and see what happens. Make sure you keep a good journal. This is so important. Most men will back down. To compromise I offered to meet him at the mall or McDonald's or somewhere in public. That way he saw our son and our son saw him. I did not want to hurt their bond but safety comes first. In the end, I have been down a rough road but my son was always safe.
My daughter's father and I used to live in LP up there and that is where our support order is currently through because SC is so slow to get it pulled down here!!! Anyways, we follow the minimum state guidelines for visitation because we were never married and never went in front of a judge to have anything put in stone. But Indiana does have it on the books that if you feel the safety of the child is compromised, you can refuse visitation to the other parent! I did this once to my ex because he came over to my house all pissed off because he had gotten something in the mail about child support going up. He was going to take her to spend some time with her and I refused for him to leave with her because he was very angry and he drives like a idiot when he is like that. I finally called 911 to have him removed from my home and even the officers said he needed to calm down before having a child in his car! And for a while he was living an a refurbished school bus (was set up like a RV) with an extension cord running to a plug at a building for power and I only allowed him to come over to my house a few hrs a week to see her. I've also refused to let her ride with him when he failed to provide me with proof of insurance for his car.
Best thing you can do too is document everything, dates, times, what he said, when he called anything odd your daughter said after a visit, etc. Because it will be your ammo when court time does roll around or if you ever need to prove you were protecting your own child!
S.
This doesn't sound like an "emergency" situation to me. If he was using drugs or being abusive...maybe.
Can't he have his visitation at your home, a park or relative's house?
Maybe you can work something out with him so you meet for an hour or a few hours in a public place with you dropping off and picking up the kids. I can definitely see you not wanting him to drive the kids with a suspended license or stay overnight if he doesn't have stable housing. Is there a relative on his side you trust? Perhaps there is a compromise so he can see the kids on terms that address your concerns.
I'm thinking if you're worried about your kids safety and dont know where they will be during their time with him then dont be home when he comes to get them. Then it's up to him to take you to court. If he want to take it to court and fight you then you would get to present your case, but he wont have the money for a lawyer. I dont know if you would get in big trouble for this or not, but your kids safety should be your main concern. Can you find out if he's taking them to a family member's home or what?
I understand what you're saying... if he got caught driving while suspended, he'd be arrested and the children would be taken by social services until you could be gotten ahold of. While the cop MIGHT phone you, protocol is for Child Services to handle the transfer... at which point your H is in booking or being arraigned, they wouldn't be able to contact him... and esp if that's at night or on a weekend it's possible that they would spend not only the night in foster care, but possibly also the whole weekend. Ditto... if he's homeless having court ordered days and nights of visitation means that YOU are in contempt of court if you don't allow them to stay the night with him, and your custody could be revoked. These are NOW issues, not 6 months from now issues.
You're not trying to *revoke* his visitation, just suspend it or alter it to make sure that your kids are taken care of.
If legal aid is only open once a week for 2 hours I would personally contact the following people/orgs to pester them for info for a probono lawyer or a guardian ad litem:
- public defenders office
- local law school
