Fever and Sickness Fear

Updated on June 05, 2009
E.C. asks from La Vergne, TN
19 answers

Any other moms out there freak out when their baby/s are sick?! I cannot seem to get a grip. My son has been sick off and on for a couple of months. Cold, hand,foot,mouth, cold again, and now my mom calls and says he has a 102 fever with chills and she can tell he feels really bad. We are getting him to the doctor this afternoon, but just no soon enough. Anytime he runs the least little bit of a fever or is not acting himself, I seem to panic and worry excessivly. Any words of comfort??

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So What Happened?

Thank you ALL for your encouragement! I think its the not knowing what is wrong and knowing I can't do anthing to make him feel better is what scares me so much. We took him to doctor and found out he has strep throat. So we are treating it antibiotics and he is feeling better already! Nothing made me happier than to kiss his cool gr
ining cheeks! Not too mention he's eating and drinking great again! Thanks again ladies!

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M.M.

answers from Jacksonville on

Is he in daycare? My daughter brought home every germ from daycare every time she went. We were constatnly at the pediatricians. Her immune system wasn't the most robust. At 11 she still is the first to get sick.
Keep Baby Tylenol and Baby Motrin in the house. You are doing the right thing by going to his doctor. If it continues the doc may run some tests.

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S.S.

answers from Lexington on

I feel the same way... I have three little boys and I try everything I can to keep them from getting sick! People think I am crazy but, I dont want my kids around sick people b/c they are miserable when they are sick. And it's miserable for us too! No sleep, and no sanity. One thing I have found that helps..this may sound nuts but when they are coughing, before bed put vapo rub on there feet and socks on and they usually wont cough, it really works!! But with three kids it seem like one is always sick!!
S.

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G.M.

answers from Raleigh on

i always tell myself that he is actually building immunities every time he gets sick. If he's not running a fever, let it run it's course. If he's running a fever and is obviously not himself, he needs to go tot he doctor.

My little guy gets lots of colds and it rarely slows himdown :) i usually let it run it's course and only give him meds to help him sleep.

but don't beat yourself up. You're a mommy. Worrying is what we do. If we didn't do it, no one else would! I always call the doctor first before i take him in. I don't want to waste her time especially if thereis someone who REALLY needs to see her, but she willusually tell me either what to do, or to bring him in. Maybe you could call first or take notes of certain behaviors so you know how to treat it the next time.

Don't worry.

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B.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

E.,
At my son's 15 month check-up, I was telling the doctor how my son was just getting over a cold. He informed me that my child would be sick more between one and two years old than any other time in his life. It is due to them being older and being taken out more, touching more things and playing with other kids all while they still do not have a built up immune system. So just know that this is normal and it should get better. It did for us.
Betsy

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P.B.

answers from Raleigh on

Fever is the body's way of fighting infection. It's a good thing. Your child will not be damaged by fever unless it gets up over 106.

Personally, I let my kids burn hot to allow their body to do it's job. My son has burned as high as 104/104.5. I stay by them at all times & I monitor the fever. If it gets higher, I have Tylenol on hand & know how to get to the ER. We have never, in 6 years & many many illnesses, had to do that.

It has been said that every illness is the body's opportunity for growth. Through illness, the body builds a stronger immunity that will help protect the body for a lifetime.

My strategy is careful monitoring. Allow the child to sleep with you during the night. Observe, observe, observe & you will see patterns during illness and have a better sense when things are running their course as usual, or if things are really different and a cause for concern. You can even keep a journal to refer to.

Hope this gives you confidence to trust your child's body to do it's job, and yourself to know you will make the right decisions so you can worry less.

Hang in there!!

P. : )

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L.T.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi E.. It's very normal to worry aobut your child, especially when they are sick! But, just try to remember that kids are going to get a lot of illnesses until they build up their immune systems and it's a normal, and an okay, part of growing up. Of course, there are some illnesses that are more serious, but typical colds, flus, earaches and tummy aches are not really much to worry about. Don't stress about the minor symptoms because then you'll make your little guy worry about it too, and that won't help him get better. Look out for serious symptoms, and if it does make you feel better to have him checked out by a doc by all means do it, that's what they're there for and at this age it's hard to tell what's wrong sometimes. Just relax and enjoy your little guy and focus on making him feel better. Good luck.

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T.M.

answers from Nashville on

I don't know what your faith is or what you believe or don't believe in, but my advice to you would be to just know that God is in control. All the worrying in the world won't change the situation or make your son's fever/cold go away. All that does is stress you out and probably takes a toll on YOUR body mentally & physically and this probably has an effect on your baby's stress level as well. I know from experience it's easier said than done, but try to relax and trust that God has your world in His hands & He loves you and your family. I wish the best for you and your family & will. Pray for a quick recovery for your son!

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E.W.

answers from Chattanooga on

E., don't panic. You will get him to the doctor today. Keep in mind that he will go through a lot while he is still a toddler. You just have to relax, and take 3 deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Do this little exercise whenever you feel yourself panic. All will be ok. The doctor will give you something to help him. Don't forget right now in Tennessee, we are experiencing high ozone levels. Young children are sensitive to them. Keep him cool. Use cool compresses on the back of his neck and wrists and just comfort him. He is old enough for baby tylenol. Please calm down. Think of it this way, you don't want to transfer your panic to your son. You need to stay calm so he knows he is going to feel better. You will do fine too. I used to panic too but then I realized my daughter was feeding off my panic and cried even more when she didn't feel better. Children sense things from thier parents and will react to them.

Good luck and don't worry, you are a wonderful mother!!

E.

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L.P.

answers from Raleigh on

You are a caring concerned mommy!
When my toddler gets sick, I just remind myself that this is good practice for her immune system. If she was never sick now, her body would not know how to handle anything in the future. And remember, a fever in a toddler is not as bad as the same fever in an adult. My daughter had a 102.5 fever a little while ago and was miserable but functioning. We would have been out of commission.

D.B.

answers from Memphis on

Having that first baby, you worry about every germ, every cold and every boo-boo. But kids are tough little things. When you say hand, foot, mouth are you talking about problems with those areas or hand-foot-mouth disease? I had a child with that & it was because of them putting them in their mouth & it was easily remedied. At 22 months they are teething bigger teeth too and that might be attributing to some fever.

Children also sense when Mommy or Daddy are tense so just take deep breaths & know that his body is doing what it should be when fighting off something. As long as he's eating, drinking, sleeping well it's probably just a temporary thing.

When my kids had colds, I bathed them in Johnson's Soothing Vapor Baby Bath http://www.johnsonsbaby.com/product.do?id=7 and it really helped.

Try to just relax & enjoy him, time goes by so quickly. I have 5 children, 3 are an their own now, and the other 2 at home are 11 and 16. It's hard to believe but it seems like only yesterday they were babies like your son.

You're a good Mom, looking for help and advise from those that have gone before is a great indicator of that.

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

you sound like a normal momma to me! if we didnt worry something would be wrong. but if you stay calm then he will too. kids can since this stuff.

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J.T.

answers from Louisville on

Welcome to the world of motherhood....my daughter told me a few weeks ago that she does not want to be a nurse like me, because she doesn't want to worry about every little thing....well, I told her it's not the nurse, it's the mom. There really isn't any way to not worry about your child unless you stop loving them. Try not to worry too much but if he is getting sick often, you should certainly talk to his doctor. Does he take a multi-vitamin??? Anything to help boost his immune system. It sounds like that needs to be addressed. I hope he feels better soon! And good luck!

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A.B.

answers from Clarksville on

The first year that we lived in our current town, it seems like our kids were sick non-stop. We had ear infections like crazy (which no one in our family had ever had before); we had stomach bugs like nothing we had ever seen; we had strep throat over and over and over. We went through a bout of the hand-foot-mouth too. Before that year, we had only been to the doctor for well visits. The first time someone said, "Boy, your family sure is sick a lot", it stuck in my head to the point that every little runny nose or cough had me panicking and wondering what in the world was wrong with my family and what in the world I was doing wrong. It was a long time before I realized that a lot of things had changed. We were living in a new place, for one thing, and often that exposes your family to a new set of germs. My oldest had just started preschool, as well, and he had never spent much time around other kids before. Not only was he being exposed to new things, but he was bringing them home and sharing them with everyone else. In addition to his exposure at preschool, our circle of acquaintances at church and elsewhere became much bigger when we moved here, and everyone had small kids, so you can imagine how easy it was to pick up something. For awhile there, we could pretty well expect that by Wednesday or Thursday, we'd be seeing whatever they were exposed to at church on Sunday. And one of the biggest things we discovered was that all of us have pretty severe allergies here, which had not been an issue in the other places we have lived. It was keeping our immune systems down. Treating the allergies helps tremendously, but so do simple practices like hand washing, making sure everyone gets enough sleep, and as your son gets older, teaching him good habits like not putting his hands or toys in his mouth, etc. The main thing is, don't freak out about his exposure to things. All kids get sick now and then, but as long as you practice Eventually, you will get to a point where you are not going to the doctor all that frequently.

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A.C.

answers from Charlotte on

E.,

It's okay to be overly anxious when your little one is not feeling good and sick. You are like many first time moms in that you panic when baby is sick. It's normal. I was like that and thought something was wrong with me. The thing that made me most anxious when my son was that little was that I was his voice trying to tell the doctors what was wrong when sometimes I didn't know what was wrong other than he was running a fever. It wouldn've been so much easier for him just to tell the doctor what was making him feel bad. My oldest son was sickly all the time until he hit 5 years old then he was okay. At the age of 5 he'd been in the hospital more times than I have at the age of 31. I've only ever been in the hospital to have babies - he's been so ill it's at least once a year he goes in the hospital. When he gets sick he gets really bad sick. So I would panic every time he ran a fever or started throwing up. Just know that it will pass and by the time he's 4-5 years old he will be very healthy. When you have your second child - you'll be more relaxed because you know what to expect. Hope your son starts feeling better soon.

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A.C.

answers from Wilmington on

Dear E.,
I'm going to send you a mixed message:

Would it help you to learn that most childhood illnesses that your son gets now are strengthening his immune system against future exposures?
I believe that one of the single most important things that we can/should try to teach our children is the ability to not be afraid of the way we feel. A person who is not afraid of pain, for instance, can tolerate more pain.
However, this is not something that can be taught without example. If we, as parents, freak out at the smaller stuff, how are we teaching our children to handle the little stuff? And then the bigger stuff?
How can we teach our children self-control if we can't control our own behavior?

I'm an RN who has worked in a variety of different areas. When I worked OB, I worked with one woman who actually did NO yelling or crying at all through an entire long labor and delivery. And, this was with no medication or anesthesia because she wasn't afraid of how she felt.

Having said all that, when my oldest was born, all of my previous 15 years of nursing intelligence was thrown out with the placenta. My brain was drained and empty. :)

We went to a family reunion in the Caribbean when my daughter was 6 weeks old. We knew that she was healthy and we would be in civilization, etc.
Long-story-short, she got sick on the flight down and proceeded to get sicker in the next few days. I took her to "the American doctor who the American tourists to the island go to" daily as she was getting sicker. He told me and my family that I "was crazy and just needed to relax on the vacation ... This was the baby's first cold and she'd get over it ... get used to her being sick because it would happen again."
My "gut" was confused. My gut told me something was wrong with my daughter, but the doctor was disagreeing with my gut feelings.
I decided to leave the family and return home with my daughter. If the doctors who knew me at home thought I was crazy and my daughter was fine, then so be it.
Her home pediatrician admitted her to the hospital immediately. She had RSV pneumonia in two lobes of her lungs. I had never before (or since) met a "quack"-doctor.
Now, 24 years later, she's fine, but that was a terrifying time of my life.

I told you this story because you must go with your gut feelings about your child's illnesses, too. I believe that we moms have significant protective instincts over our children. Our antique gut feelings know more than our modern culturally-adept brains.
If your gut is telling you to "panic and worry excessively" and says that something is terribly wrong with your child and that's why he keeps getting sick, then you should push the doctors. Ask for referrals to consulting physicians, like allergists or infectious disease specialists to check for allergies or immunities.
Meanwhile, you mention that he's been sick off and on for only a couple of months. What changed within the past couple of months?

So, RELAX, keep the Tylenol and Ibuprofen stocked, but keep your radar active.

Good luck. Let us know what happens.

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S.T.

answers from Nashville on

E., something is definitely out of whack. If he has had those on going symptons, it sounds like a possible infection, virus, or something along those lines that needs to be treated and cured, not just masked. could even be a simple allergic reaction to something that has changed in his diet, soap, ????? Is he on a multi vitamin? That is often just the ticket to balance out thier system. Keep an eye on him (I know you do!!) and good luck! God bless you!

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K.D.

answers from Raleigh on

To keep him healthy, I would like to suggest some probiotics to replenish his good bacteria now that he is on antibiotics (which kills both good and bad bacteria). You can give them 3 hours after you give him the antibiotics and then for about a week afterwards.

Here's an article that explains how probiotics are important for children and for a strong immune system:

http://nutrition.about.com/od/nutritionforchildren/f/chil...

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E.F.

answers from Louisville on

Your baby is old enough for chewable vitamins. He probably has low levels of vitamin D. You have to be exposed to the sun, without sunscreen, at least 15 minutes a day to get enough. Animal Parade makes a chewable vitamin D that I give to my 23 month old along with her normal Flintstone. We get it from Rainbow Blossoms.

Before the Vit. D we were like you, one illness after another. After she started taking it she's been fighting off infection like a champ. Ask your pediatrician about it.

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

It is very sad when the little ones are sick. But, I've always heard that that's how we develop our immunity in life, by being sick so much as small children. If you think about it, you probably aren't sick nearly as much as he is, and that's why...

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