So tax time is here and my husband just informed me that we owe $8,000. Why? Because he did not pay any Federal Taxes out of his paycheck-except to Medicare and SS. Why did he do this? Good question. Obviously it was an impulsive, poorly thought out decision. I think he thought he would make enough in bonuses to cover taxes, but guess what? He didn't. Anyway, I know (and I have made it known to him) that this was a jackass decision and that he needs to get on medication for ADHD. He has never been formally diagnosed but after my daughter was diagnosed this past fall, I read up on adult ADHD and it is glaringly apparent that he fits the bill. He is scatterbrained, impulsive, procrastinates and always has "projects" that he wants to do. Ironically, he is a commercial lender for huge national bank and does great with other people's money.
My question is: How can I bring in some money? I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old at home with me all the time. Nothing that I could do would pay enough $$ to make a profit once I paid for childcare. I have cared for other children in my home -but that was before I had 2. I was just looking on Craigslist and in this economy there are WAY more people looking for babysitting than there are those who need it. And I am sure a plethora of people who can babysit without having to have 2 of their own kids around.
Anyway, I am feeling extremely bummed about all of this and totally helpless to change it--except for giving my DH a piece of my mind. Any advice is appreciated. But please, no nastiness. I feel bad enough as it is.
Thanks for the advice, Ladies! I am indeed prematurely freaking out. But I shan't be apologizing to hubby. I didn't scream at him, for Pete's Sake. But this is not the first time he has made poor financial decisions with no thought for the long term consequences. When I have given my opinion about finances and expressed that what he suggests is too risky for example, he gets really snappy and rude and tells me I don't know what I am talking about. He's hardly a "team player" when it comes to our finances.
He's the banker after all.
**For those of you who think this is an innocent mistake--and I assure all of his mistakes are innocent--he doesn't MEAN to screw us financially, he just underestimated, he forgot, etc etc. --there is a time when it is still not ok and you need to be accountable. Three years ago we owed $30,000 to taxes because we sold a property and he didn't consult an accountant and forgot about some property appreciation clause. And, who is suffering from the mistakes? Me and our children. Our daughter can't go to summer camp now because we can't afford it and we have to pull her out of her preschool next year. SO NO APOLOGIES WILL BE COMING FROM ME!
I don't blame you for being angry. Nothing like debt to put you into a frenzy.
You might ask him if he would give this advice to a client??? Not paying taxes is asking for trouble and he has it now. You have my sympathies.
Good luck
I strongly suggest contacting the IRS, admitting the mistake, and working out a payment plan immediately, to begin paying the taxes due in monthly payments. They are usually pretty reasonable about working out payment plans, and it will often save you some fees to go ahead and get started on fixing it.
And yes, get him treated. And make sure he is now withholding!
I don't have much to suggest about making extra money. Finding something decent to do from home is really hard to do. The best option probably involves selling stuff. If that's something you think you can do, go for it! But selling stuff is just not something I personally feel like I can do! There are things like Avon and Mary Kay, as well as other stuff like Pampered Chef. If you have an interested in the products of one of these types of companies, that might be a good fit for you. I don't do makeup and am not a cook, so that certainly doesn't help me! haha
Do you like to do any crafts or sewing? You might be able to make things like jewelry & sell them. Or if you know how, you could do clothing alterations for people.
I would suggest cleaning houses, but not sure how well you can do that whole toting along a 2 & 4 year old :)
Oh, my mom irons clothes for an elderly couple. Perhaps you could find some people who need this service done? Or a mix of services, laundry maybe?
Talk to EVERYONE you know about you looking for extra work. You might find someone who knows something you can do!
As for your husband, get him to a psychologist to be diagnosed. My husband knows he has ADD, but he can't maintain a prescription without officially being diagnosed by a psychologist. He was on Adderall for a month & he was able to tell a MAJOR difference the first day he took it! We've got to find him a psychologist now... lol
Another idea for him, something my husband did try first, is to have a project he can spend an hour or longer a day on. My husband's choice was one of those car models. One you have to paint each piece & then glue it together. Something to really focus on. That also made him feel better & feel like he could focus better throughout the day.
Good luck! I hope things will get better for you and your family!
I can tell you what I do...and I know there are always positions available because it is a crappy schedule but here it goes....
I work as a baker at my local grocery store. I only work very PT so my schedule is not exactly this but these are the hours I would work on any given day. *M-F 4am-8am S&S any shift - usually 5am-Noon or 10am-4pm.
This works great for me because I am home before my DH leaves for work and I am there to get my youngest off to K. This allows me to be a SAHM but still bring in some $. Like I said, I only work very PT so I essentially work for grocery $ but every little bit helps, right? Seeing how you DH is currently unemployed you could work a full shift M-F of 5am-1:30 or a 4am-12:30 and still be home for most of the day. It really doesn't take any skill so as far as being rewarding, I don't know about that...but it saves me from paying someone else to take care of my children and buys us food!
Good Luck woman! Everything will work itself out!
lol - your post was funny, but on a serious note, you're probably just in the moment/impulse thinking tfeeling hat you need to make money to cover that debt, but maybe you can find ways to eliminate other expenses. Is there a way to pay IRS in portions versus the whole one time? Just a suggestion.
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Wow. I know the feeling all too well. Honestly, If you were closer, I would say you sound like someone I would want as a babysitter. Kids like to have playmates.
Perhaps you could advertise that you are available to prepare meals. (cook dinner for a working mom, she just picks up a home-cooked meal on the way home)
Alterations or simple repairs, like buttons missing, holes in jeans, etc.
Maybe tutoring or just letting older children get off the bus at your home as a safe place to stay and do homework til their parents get off work.
Wow, I am sorry that you are in that situation and feeling so bad. People make a lot of mistakes with money so you are so not alone in finding yourself in a situation like this. First, I would suggest that you complete Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University in order to get total control of your finances. You have a debt and Dave Ramsey is awesome at helping people make a plan to get out of debt. If you can't take a full class right now, then get some of his materials and use them to help you make a plan. You can go to a tax relief organization to have them help you make some arrangments with the IRS to pay this debt over time (Dave Ramsey will help you figure out how to budget for this debt). I don't know your situation but 8,000.00 does not sound like something totally unmanageable with the appropriate arrangements. I am not trying to downplay the seriousness of the situation, only point out that there are ways to deal with this that don't involve you having to go to work. Good luck!
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Responding with a question--who are you going to for an ADD/ADHD diagnosis? Someone in Boulder? I think I have one on my hands as well, but he won't go and get diagnosed unless it's all laid out for him. I also have been reading up on it--if you have a child w/ it in the family, likely one or both of the adults have it, too. Good find. I can already see signs of it in my 15 month old but it is surely too early to diagnose, so that lead me to look at my husband's behavior, and it is quite obvious.
well, you could start by getting a job in the evening or overnights until this gets paid for. Doesn't take long to make 8 grand.
Sounds like this was just an honest mistake on your husbands part, not something ADD meds would help with. I'd lay off of him, we all screw up once in a while.
