Feeling Low Self Esteem, Needing to Regain My Dignity

It sounds like you come from a religious background, so I'll speak to you from that point of view. God knew and formed you before you were even conceived in the womb- the bible says you are wonderfully and fearfully made! Remember this every time the devil tries to convince you that you are too messed up to go on. I'm not sure if you read the Bible or not, but I encourage you to do so! I have been truly blessed by reading God's word and getting strength and encouragement from it. Also, I recommend reading some of Joyce Meyer's books (in case you're not familiar with her, she's a minister who's written many books and has a t.v. ministry that comes on M-F at 9:30am on cable channel 15).
The more you get to know God, the better you'll understand His plan for your life! Keep your head up!

K.,

Stop letting other people make you feel bad about your life decisions. You are a strong independant MOTHER. Take control of your life. I understand wanting to get married so that you can get some financial help. There is no reason to do it in secret. Your religious family will probably embrace the marriage since you will be "doing it right" in their eyes. Do what makes you happy. I was 16 when I got pregnant with my daughter. 16! My grandmother disowned the whole family for about 6 months. I am talking aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone. She got over it and so did everyone else. I did not plan my life this way, it is just what happened. So what did I do? I made the best of the situation. I worked full time, went to school full time, and raised my baby. I moved out when I turned 18 and got an apartment. I went to college. My daughter and I made it! We were very succesful! Keep your head up. You will be surprised how many people are actually proud of you. It is hard being a mom and with your added stresses it makes it that much harder. Good Luck!

Oh K.. . .love happens.
If you're with the man you love and he is good to you and your daughter, then you did good. if we all married men our moms had dreamed about us, well, let me just say, we don't. we choose our own path, whether it turns out good or not.
Now let's start with a few things;
if you love him, then the obvious thing is for you to get married, more so, so he can become legal through marriage to a citizen.
the immigration process is slow, but it works. everything has to be legit between you two for him to get a legal residency in this country.
you can go to a local immigracion office (try finding your closest at www.uscis.gov) then schedule an appt for you and your husband (he has to be your husband for this process to begin) and ask them to give you the forms you need to start filing for permanent residency. All these forms cost )the site i gave you explans how much are the fees for different forms). Help him learn English. This way, foors will open up for him, so you don't remain the only provider for the family. There are jobs for everyone out there.
As for your family, I am sad to hear about their reaction, but I tell you one thing; if you act around them as if you've done something wrong, that will reflect on their attitude towards you and your family. Your attitude should be such to 'demand' respect from others. If your family, whether close or extended isn't appropriate towards you, your daughter or your boyfriend then you make sure you undertake the steps you need to have this corrected or remove you all from such exposure.
Do not feel down, you have a baby girl!!!!!! you're 24 years old. Oh, sweetheart, you have your whole life ahead of you, and it is wayyyyy early to start regretting. I am a catholic too, but I like to say, I am liberal catholic, as in I have and will use my free will to make decisions for my life.
:)
good luck to you, i really mean it. You need to embrace the life you have, and your closest family. as for the rest, they will eitehr follow, or not. it is totally their choice
vlora

Is there anything he can to do to get legit citizenship? Why get married and keep it a secret? If getting married is what you choose, do it and make it wonderful! I imagine your family will be more accepting of everything if you are married and in their eyes are more "right" than you are now.

Focus on how wonderful of a time this is in Dori's life. If you just dwell on everything that is wrong you will miss some great memories with your daughter.

Sounds like you really have a lot on your plate right now. I;m curious, how does mariage affect immigration status? Would marrying him make him legal? I heard somewhere that this is how it works, but I am nt sure. Also, why would you need to get married in secrt, couldn't you at least invite those family members you have who are accepting of him? Being secretive just doesn't seem like a great way fo you to start your life together. As far as the rest of your family, either they will accept him once you are married or they will not....you, him and your daughter are your own family unit, and it would be sad if they choose not to be a part of it. However, not your choice. You need to do what you feel is right for you and you child. Best of luck, feel free to message me if you'd like to talk. I'm kind of the black sheep of my family as well, so I think I can understand much of where you are coming from...
M.