Feeling guilty...about Being So Blessed, Esp During the Holidays...

I agree with you. It sounds like you have a giving heart and feel for people I don't think you need to feel guilty because you are doing well. Why do you feel so bad?

When you have "given enough" I think that guilt will go away. Do what your heart is telling you to do. Don't worry about us poor people judging you, we know that if it wasnt for you we wouldnt get our food baskets for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Thank you! Do not feel guilty that you have been blessed with "much"..... you must be doing something very right :)

I know what you mean about being annoyed. I was behind this woman in the grocery store the other day who was pregnant with her forth and using cashback from EBT to buy ciggerettes! that money is not for that! we our on EBT as well (not EBT cash just foodstamps) and our very greatful to have it and I couldnt believe someone was wasting it like that. my hubby works at a grocery store that partenered with the city last yr to give away over 500 ham dinner for christmas. people came in to pick them up and complained that they dont like ham and that they wanted something else...how in greatful! stop feeling guilty and count your blessing because otheriwse you our just doing the same as the people who are annoying you! my family doesnt have alot (my husband works 2 jobs we live pay check to pay check and our filling bankruptcy and I worry how we will be able to afford heat this winter.) but we have a lot more than so many people. We own our home. no morgage! that is something I am very greatful for

Hey mom on th go,
I understand how you feel(I'm Catholic as well) I have a very big heart and it makes me said when I see people(especially kids) that are homeless, no food, etc. I am very thankful for my family, however sometimes I wish I can do more for others. My husband always says if it were up 2 me I would have a house full of people:-)))) All we can do is try our best to instill the same values in our children and continue what you're doing:-)))) HAPPY HOLIDAYS 2 U AND YOUR FAMILY.

You have nothing to feel guilty about. You're not being ungrateful... at least it doesn't sound like it from your posting. It sounds like you are feeling guilty b/c of the thoughts you are experiencing at this time of year, which is different.

You're not alone- many of us make day-to-day decisions regarding purchases, expenditures and activities knowing that should something happen, we'll be okay. You are making solid choices and are modeling the value of those choices for your children. Life is about choices and the reality is that for some people, immediate gratification is more important than long-term stability.

This time of year brings out many emotions, especially surrounding money. It used to make me crazy when I would have a student on free/reduced lunch who came into school wearing $200 sneakers (which I would never purchase for my child). Again, you can't account for others. Just keep in mind that marketers and fund-raisers play into these feelings b/w Thanksgiving and January 1st... you don't hear much from them during the other months b/c emotions are less volatile.

As a family, we have "adopted" a family through out church. The father was killed in a tragic car accident leaving the mother with three young children. They don't know who we are, but we make sure that they have things throughout the year and my husband helped the parish set-up a college fund for the children. Instead of donating to something "broad", our parish contributes to our own families. This reminds us throughout the year to be charitable and that for some people life's circumstances result in tragic situations... and for others it's their own decisions. Personally, I will literally give the shirt off my back to the former.

I hear ya. We are doing the Angel tree, and we also donate to Toys-for-tots. I also hand my kids $10 a piece and have them pick out and pay for toys to donate to Toys-for-tots.

Yes I know people whose kid has all the latest and greatest stuff, then they beg for understanding when they can't pay the rent or the electric cuz that money just went towards a new Wii or Ds game or Billy just had to get 5 new books at $10-15 a piece all at the same time!

I know that my kids won't get near as much under the tree as that child. Thier excuse is that we have family around to buy other things and they don't. My kids know that money isn't following freely at my house. They understand that. Giving my child a warm house for those traditions, family time, and memories is more important to me than how many presents are under the tree. Of which I'm planning on three presents each.

Giving is about giving what you can afford and then a bit more. If you still feel that there is something else that needs to be done, seek it out.
- Give time at a shelter
- Give time to the animals. The animal shelters are always having donations drives.
- Give to the food pantries
- Give to the Red Cross
- Give to the children at the hospital
- Donate goods to the Habitat for Humanity Restore (if there's one near you)

Happy Holidays!
M.

There will always be people who have more and who have less. With kids in middle school and high school it's a constant life lesson - and I remind them that just by living in this country we are more rich than 2/3 of the rest of the world. I trule believe that God blesses people who work hard, and give to others. You're blessed with resources so that you can bless others - which it seems you're doing. So just continue on and do what you're doing.

And as it regards others, there are always people who are using credit to pay for expensive gadgets, they're leasing expensive cars, they're living beyond their means while you "brown-bag" it, pay cash, save until you can buy that big item, etc. Don't allow yourself to dwell on those people. The tough times of life end up being more rough on them because they're not prepared - and the tough times will come sooner or later.

We will all go through tough times in life, auto accidents, sickness and disease, loss of a job, etc. We deal with it in a better way when we have learned to live realistically - and not in a pretend world. Now that I'm in my 50's, my kids are teens, we've seen tough times hit our family. We've lost loved ones, dealt with cancer and other serious illnesses, my husband was in a serious auto accident, nearly lost his life and was out of work for 7 months, etc. We managed through it because we had made contingency plans. My borhter was out of work for almost 2 years - but he and his wife took whatever jobs they could - they scrambled, they worked freelance, part time, they called thier mortgage company and made financial arrangements, they used savings,etc. They managed to keep their house beucase they weren't living beond their means, their home was modest and they didn't keep re-mortgaging it for a more elaborate lifestyle.

Others have not done so well in similar situations. It's not about being judgemental - it's about doing what's best for your family - planning for the worst, hoping for the best and begin prepared. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Enjoy your holiday and keep working hard and giving to others.

You have been blessed. Every good thing you have is a gift from God. Thank Him, and remember that He is good all the time, even in trials. Yes, sometimes people struggle more than others. That's okay because it is what the Lord has ordained for them for their good. Be thankful for what you have (you sound like you are!), and continue to bless others as you are led. There is no certain amount that you have to give before your feelings change. There is no "balance in the cosmos" or whatever. :) I agree with you that many people spend money they don't have to buy junk. I don't know why they do that other than discontentment and coveting. It sounds like you are laying a great foundation for your children. But, please don't feel guilty about having good things. It is all just wood, hay, and stubble, which will eventually burn up, rot, decompose, get lost or broken, etc. It's just junk. Treasure the truly good gifts like family, health, joy, peace, warmth, and be thankful for them. May you find the richest blessings of all!

Just remember that people make choices and for those that are really in need because of circumstances, feel good that you gave to those and don't think you can save the world. Reach the ones within your reach and pray for the others that you cannot reach.

Don't feel guilty. I understand what you are talking about. Life is not always fair, some people have more than others, some people truly suffer, others take advantage of the system. That's just the way the world is. The only thing you can do is what you already seem to be doing - cultivate an atmosphere of gratitude in your family for what you have, and instill a spirit of giving to those less fortunate. You cannot change the world, but you CAN change your little corner of it, not just at Christmas, but all year long. I really believe that it is our responsibility to give as much as our means allow - not just monetarily, but also by giving the gift of our time to others. Guilt is a really counterproductive emotion that holds us back from achieving our goals. Try to turn it into a positive - thank God for your blessings, and then use that gratitude as a catalyst for your generosity. Don't worry about how others spend or don't spend their money - this is not something you can control - just worry about your own little family unit and concentrate on what you can all do as a group to make your part of the world a better place :) Let the guilt go! (New Years' Resolution? LOL)

I feel this way as well. It scares me to think that the rug could be pulled from under my feet. All I can hope for is that God will listen to my prayers and bless everyone equally.

I understand how you feel. The bad part is that I feel like I have had things so good that I keep waiting (fearing) for something "bad" to happen--like it is inevitable. I think like others said, we do what we can and teach our children our values of giving back to the community.