Feeling Guilty

I totally agree with Chandra and I had the same feelings as you when I was in your situation! I did feel guilty beforehand, but as she and others said, my older daughter LOVED IT and it gave me a break during the day. You are going to be picking him up at 3, so it's not like you have him somewhere until 9 at night! I am sure you will feel refreshed after your "break" with just a newborn to spend quality time with him when he is home with you after 3 and the baby is sleeping. It will be great, don't worry! On the other hand, if he doesn't adjust well, just keep him home. You already paid and it's nonrefundable, so don't even think about it. The money is spent, and as I have learned so many times already as a mother, things don't always turn out the way you planned them! Good luck with the upcoming baby and the whole situation. Believe me, I know about mommy guilt, and I know how bad it can make you feel. Try not to sweat it, just go with it and see what happens.

I agree with Chandra!

Maybe take some extra time in the morning to let him help you feed the new sibling, be that big brother and then spend some quality time with him when he comes home. Trust me 10-15 minutes seems like a day to a child that small, so sit and read a book, color, play a game etc.

Let him help get the baby dressed for bed or lay on the floor quietly net to new baby. Possibly holding baby together while you read the book.

My son was that age when his sister was born and he went off to dayschool while she was with me, not even a worry or blip of concern. Relax, enjoy your new family!

Congratulations!

Hi C.,
My daughter was 2 3/4 when my son was born. It was a big adjustment for all of us. I cannot imagine her having anything else new to deal with at the same time. As a matter of fact, she had to start nursery school when my son was 3 months old because she turned 3 and it was time to go. She resented not being home with us. She began waking at night and was all out of sorts for a long time. That said, you will need a break! A lot of people think newborns are so easy - you can take them anywhere and they just sleep. Well, I don't know how your son was but my newborns - a colicky baby and then a refluxer - were not so good. If I were in your situation, I would do the half days but be sure to start the camp before the baby is born or at least 2 weeks after the birth of the baby. This way it is not tied to that event. Also, your son will need time to be with his family, perhaps take a nap to recharge, bond with the baby, etc. He is still somewhat of a baby himself at that age and has only known being home with you. I think you are making the right decision but it is a decision only you can make. Best wishes.

Oh, he will have a blast. 8:30 to 3:00 is like half day. I'm sure you have flexibility on droping him off later or picking him up earlier, so leave it as is. Why loose money and the option to have him there full day. It may be hard at the begining for him to seperate, if he's never done this before, but please stick with it because it will be a lot of fun for him. I enrolled my son at daycare when he was 21 months, and it was a rocky start. After 2 weeks, he couldn't wait to go, so don't feel guilty and remember you've already paid, and it'll help you gain some sanity during the day.

You're not overreacting - but the decision on half or full day is completely up to you - - Just make sure when he comes home that you hug him HARD and tell him how much you missed him and just take the time to sit down with him one-on-one to talk about his day. He won't feel left out. Day camp sounds fun!

I think you're just going to have to play it by ear, so to speak. Just accept that you are willing to lose some or all of the money for the health and well being of your family, and approach each day of the summer program individually. Let your son tell you whether he wants to go or if he's feeling rejected and needs some Mommy time. You can also decide if mommy needs some alone time! Just let each day bring what it brings, don't feel committed to the camp program, and let your needs and your son's needs day by day guide you. Good luck!

Trust me, your child will be having soooo much fun, you will not be on the mind. Don't waste energy on guilt and don't assume your 2 year old child will be thinking or feeling like an adult. (With all do respect) "That is the noise between your two ears"... A very wise person said that to me yesterday regarding an issue I (thought) I had.

You will need that break, and you will enjoy that time away from him. Don't lose the money, don't do 1/2 day, LET HIM ENJOY THE INTERACTIONS WITH OTHER CHILDREN and NEW EXPERIENCES! You'll need to physically and emotionally re-group from childbirth, so please take advantage of the opportunity with NO REGRETS!

Reach out, if you need a friendly ear, or another tongue lashing (chuckles) ____@____.com C.

Hi C.,
I think your gut is correct. In my opinion, he is too young. He needs to be with you and his new brother or sister. Include him in what you do with the new baby and find time just for him while the new one sleeps. You will have a wonderful time. Hopefully you will have some help for the first few weeks. Don't sweat the money, though it hurts right now. You can't put a price on your child's happiness or well being.
Good luck.

C.,

I didn't know they had such extensive camp programs for 2 year olds! Well, first of all...congratulations on your soon to be addition. I hope all goes well as far as that is concerned! I found that adding a second child was a big change in the family dynamics. For me personally, when I have a brand new baby I want it quiet and calm for the first couple of weeks.

Maybe you send him every day until you are feeling a little better and have a little bit of a routine, then send him just a couple days a week after that, if they allow it. He will want to be around the new baby, but he will also tire of the baby quickly, so I think it is good that you will have a diversion for him.

A newborn is pretty portable since all they do is sleep, so I don't think your summer will be a complete waste. If you are having a c-section it will be harder, but otherwise I would think you will be able to get out with the baby and your son. This is a completely personal decision. Don't worry about losing the money, the most important thing is to do what feels right for your family. Since you can't get your money back, you basically have the option open all summer no matter how many days you end up taking or not taking him.

I'm sure it will work out ok. Let your son and his behavior be the determining factor. Some kids are content to be indoors. I know that I never let my kids outdoors in the afternoon in the summer because of burning, and for that reason I don't let them go to summer programs still. I don't want them out in the heat and sun. If you are like that then the mornings are great for getting out, and then hunker down with the air conditioning/fans and books in the afternoon. Does he still nap...gotta fit a quiet afternoon nap in there too!

I think you're being too hard on yourself and trying to make too many decisions too early. First, you can get the 2 1/2 year old excited by explaining that he is a big boy and is going to go to "school". Also, just wait and see what happens. He may absolutely love "school" or he may need a transition period that the teachers there should be able to help you with. Get him excited about the baby. I bought my son a book called, "What To Expect When The Baby Comes Homes." He's a fantastic big brother. Best of luck.