Feeling Down - Chicago,IL

I started on prozac in January and I have to tell you it's makes me more ME and things are much better.

P., it's not just you. I've got the same feelings going on a lot too. I didn't think having 2 kids would be so hard, but mine are extremely demanding and I often long for the pre kid days when I didn't have to wake up super early just to have a little time to myself and just be able to do what I want to do. I don't have any suggestions for you but just wanted to let you know that you're not alone!

Hi P.!
Blessings to you!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!! Being a mom is SO hard!!!! The minute you become a mom your WHOLE world changes and the more children you have, the harder and crazier it gets! I used to feel the EXACT same way...sought out a counselor and ended up on Lexapro. Mine was not as much depression as it was anxiety but they do have a tendancy to go hand in hand. After awile I started to journal. I know that it sounds small but I take an hour to myself, outside of the house, just to go journal. I am now off of any sort of medication, countinue counseling and make more time for just me. That's the key. I think we all go through some sort of feeling of wanting to be a little girl again, not to have any responsibilities and be with our mommys! I still have that feeling but you have to remember that your children feel the same way about you and your home that you feel at your moms. Everyone is different and have different personalities. I have 3 children and look at women with 4+ and think "how do they do it" but I am different then they are. Our lives are different. I was not made/meant to have more then 3, and evern then I feel it's pushing it sometimes!! There are times I think that I was given more than I can handle and then I work through it with support and gain strength.
Good luck! This too shall pass but you need to make sure that you are taking care of yourself!
HUGS!

P.........first of all I'd let my Dr. know how you feel, there may be a medical reason.

I felt a lot like you at one time.......I won't go into the story; too long!! I'm not much on religion but I ran into a guy called Father Joe Breighner, he has a radio show; it's on US99 at 5:30 in the morning on Sundays.......also Joel Osteen he's all over the TV. They both helped me get through some tough times.....yes there's a little religion but just their messages helped me a lot!!! Their messages are upbeat and you just feel like you can handle another day after listening. I made a mental decision to be happy.....I figured out that I needed to make a place for my kids like I had when I was little; at home with Mom feeling safe and happy. I know it's easy for people to give advise......and you have to find your own way......I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone!!!

Yes, i often wonder how women work full time and raise kids when im beat with 2 kids and i stay home almost everyday. I get very upset sometimes thinking about how organized i used to be and how much free time i had to do what i needed and now i have zero. My husband works long hours so its really just me with the kids all the time and i think that makes it hard. I need a break and it sounds like you do too. For me, its rarely possible, but i hope you can get out and do something for you, or visit your mom for a while. Time away from everything would probably help. I do agree with the woman who said to watch Joel Osteen. He's very inspirational. But i do know exactly how you feel. How do women manage with 6 kids when im going crazy with 2? I love them more than anything, but it is a demanding 24/7 job. There is no vacation or calling in sick. But there should be. Some days i feel like all i do is yell at my kids and then feel awful about it. But when talking to other moms, they have those days too. Believe me, youre not alone in feeling the way you do.

P.,
I've noticed that as the years pass by my PMS seems to be getting worse...more irritable, moody right before I get my period. I agree with everyone else about taking time for yourself and doing things on your own or with friends. I have a 17 month old girl and stay home with her. I LOVE it but there are definitely times where I'd just like to be alone. My husband is understanding but I have to tell him what's going on with me which I don't always do...I let it get to the point where I feel like I might explode and end up in tears saying I just need a break. I'm working on being better about that...maybe if you talk with your husband about how you're feeling you guys can work something out.
I envy you for still being able to go home and feel that warmth of home. My mom passed away almost 16 years ago and my dad 11 years ago. I can't tell you how hard it is not having a home and how much I miss my mom. I have two brothers...we are close but men do not get what women do for each other. I miss my mom every minute of every day...even more so now being a mom. I am SO thankful to have a little girl. I would say to you...enjoy those moments with your mom, relish it because they won't be available forever. There is nothing like that feeling of home that only a mom can bring.

I am not a believer in medication but do agree with exercise...even if its just taking a walk alone.

Know that you aren't alone...that everyone feels this way at some time whether you have six kids or one. As women we think we're supposed to be able to do it all and we just can't. I hope the advice from everyone helps.

take care of yourself and remember that someday your children will be coming back to your house enjoying that feeling of home because you are there...just as you do now.

Are you kidding me? You are so so not alone!!!! I live very near my parents and they are in my childhood home so I LOVE going there with the kids and without! My husband calls it the black hole! I feel very safe and cared for in my Mom's home. I think that is very natural.
I often feel the way you do and also wistful for the lives of my single friends. sleep when you're tired, clean if you feel like it! Travel, go out...Ahhhhhh. Then I realize how many of my mid-thirties single friends would love my life and are wistful for what I have. Not to mention my boys would not exist, and that usually gets my to realize how lucky I am. I really do have a beautiful and special family.
Anyway the point I'm making is that you are entitled to curl up in a safe cozy place sometimes and release your "always on" mama persona. You may be a little depressed or just overwhelmed. Either way, don't feel bad about it and know you are seriously NOT alone! You're in company girl!

Sorry you feel that way, but I think it's something that we all go through. I wish that so often myself, when I see my mom or not. Sometimes my troubles of the day send me back. Like paying bills, what to make for dinner, keeping the house clean, taking my child to school and making sure his grades stay up, doing laundry, going shopping for others and nothing for myself. Wow I have disgused that with my sister and she feels the same too. Oh well we grew up and I tell my child stop rushing to be grown it's not all ways fun.

It's not just you. We have always had a very close family, and I've always spent lots of time at my parents' house. But recently, we lost my father to cancer. And I find it hard to be happy unless I'm at my mom's. It gives me a sense of security I guess. I have a wonderful home life with my fiance and daughter, but it's just not the same as being 'home'. I totally get where you are coming from, so don't worry. It's normal to feel 'at home' there, she's your mother, and you will always feel at ease there. I know I do, and have, ever since I left the nest. :)

OF COURSE I DO!

My own personal theory is that things are "unfamiliar" and just plain taxing! So we crave things that are familiar and "comforting". So you definitely are NOT alone on that! I have discovered that husbands are there for a reason? Sometimes we have to stop being "Super Moms" and ask them to help us?? Yes, this is foreign to every fiber of our existence! It is also necessary! You do need down time to yourself. Even if it just going to the grocery store by yourself?? Again, foreign?? As for that cozy feel at your Moms house, a lot of it is acceptance. She is content in her life and settled with how things just ARE? So maybe that idea of "No worries" is the perception you need for your own home?

My other theory is that "Nuthin' replaces Momma" and use her as a sounding board? Talk to her I am sure she had some concerns with 6 kids of her own? Ask her how she did it!

This might not be exactly what you are looking for, but is there any chance you could join a gym (if you aren't already doing that)? I know that my mental outlook is sooo much brighter when I finish yoga - I have a three year-old and a 5 month-old but I am diligent about making sure I get to 2 yoga classes a week. They are hot 90 minute bikram (tuesday) and power vinyasa (thurs), so they are very intense workouts. It is something that I can do to give myself time away for just me, keep my body healthy, and totally clear and reset my mind. The endorphins from the workout make a HUGE difference on my psyche.

There are several yoga studios around town that offer heated bikram and vinyasa yoga.

Well I wish I would be able to have the feeling of even seeing my mom, since she passed away back in 1996, but I can understand, somewhat, how you feel. When I am away from my dad's house for a while, or just dealing with something that at the moment seems like alot, I can't help but want the feeling of being home, with nothing to worrie.

Now I am expecting my first child, and I know nothing is going to be the same. I know that I am starting a life of my own, and though I still live with my dad, I know I can't just "go home" when ever I feel like it.

All there is to do really, is sometimes take time to yourself. For you, I advise getting a baby sitter for a night, send them to an aunt/uncle of the day or night, and have time to yourself, or even with you signifigant other. :D

Sorry if my answer does not help so much. >.,<

P., there really is something great about going back home - there's nothing like it. I'm so glad to hear you are visiting your mom often. Remember, your kids will feel the same way about your home as they grow up.

I was just thinking today about how it used to be with my husband and I before we had kids. We recently got over the flu of my daughter and a stomach flu with me and the house is a mess etc... I remember when my hubbie and I would have whole Saturdays to do nothing more or less than exactly what we wanted to do and, yes, sometimes I do wish for those days back. But our kids are such a joy and too soon we will be on our own again.

Your not alone. I think many mothers go threw this including myself.It's time to take time for yourself whether it's a hobby or just planning a girls night once a month. This is what we do in our mom's group and it helps. You can't be a good wife and mother if you don't take of yourself.

Hi,

I too come from a large family. I have 3 sisters and 3 brothers. I am # 6 of 7 and too wonder how my mom managed to keep sane when I struggle to hold it together when I only have 2! Much good advice is offered here. Exercise is good as well as hobbies and mom's nights out. I too feel comforted when I visit my mom's house or even just talk to her on the phone. We all need to feel that care, love and acceptance of our mom, even when we are mom's ourselves. I say enjoy that feeling while you still can. I for one treasure all the time spent with family. Take time to savor those times. I know it's hard with our crazy busy lives. You deserve to be taken care of, just like your kids do! Good Luck and remember you are not the only one! ;-)

hi. my mom downsized to a cozy little condo a couple blocks from me several years ago. when i visit her it reminds me of my single days living in my little condo in my 20s. no husband, no children, no big drafty house. i was never so carefree. i wish some days i can have a day of that again. ironically, my mom confesses to me that despite all the insanity in my life with my three young kids, she misses those days as a mom to young children. i think its natural to feel what you feel. hang in there.

I would consult your doctor. But also it sounds like you need a few days away. Is there some way that you and your hubby can get away for the weekend? Have you mom watch your kids? Or one of you siblings watch them? Good luck

Hi P. everyone gets down and depressed. You said you have two wonderful children. You didn't say if you have a wonderful marriage. If everything is good in that part of your life, try to focus on the positive thing in your life.Things could be alot worse. Or seek some counseling about these feeling.

Sorry to hear that you are feeling that way. Something similar is happeing to me. I have a 2 1/2 year old girl and another one on the way, however I can not help to feel kind of stuck. I work full time and it feels that all I do is work... my family lives in Europe so i can not even go to them for a bit of confort.
Sorry that I wasn`t much help but it might help you to know that you are not alone out there.

Hi P.
Sounds you need a little time away from teh kids. I don't have any close girl friends and my sister lives in Canada , sometimes I want to leave the house just to take a break from the noise and the wants / needs, but I don't know where to, because I have no escape.

Motherhood is great and also straining, If you have friends go out for a few hours and remind yourself who you are and what you like. Even just going to the Bookstore and get a coffee. The upcoming winter is what I hate , the last one was so long it's like it never left. That's how I feel anyway