Feel Rejected by 2 Year Old

I have no advice, but just wanted to send you a big hug, and let you know she loves you no matter what!

My two year old is going through something like that. She is now bak talking me, not wanting to be around me, when she gets in trouble she screams for her daddy to save her, she tells me to get out of her room and leave her alone, and does not do ANYTHING I ask her to do. I have gotten to the point that I pick her toys up and clean up after (she was doing it) but it is a big fight and I dont feel like fighting with her. I am thinking that it is just the age, but I understand what you are going through I hope it gets better for the both of us just hang in there!!

Hi K.,
Please do not be scared by all those words trown at you, I know I was when my son was diagnosed with all sorts of labels like autism, PDD, Sensory Integration Disorder,etc. He did not wanted to be touched or held by anyone and was not talking at all at 2.
I don't know if this is your case or not but in any case there is help out there. you can call your pediatrician and ask for a referral for ITIP (or ECI is the same) www.itip.org. This people are awesome, they will evaluate your daughter and determine if she qualifies for services from them.
My son is 7 years old now and thanks to all of them he is a very lovely, chatty ,"hugger" little boy.
We found that even when my son did not wanted soft touch he craved rough play and that helped him tolerate being touched and hugged.
Don't think that your angel does not love you, she does, you just have to learned to read the other ways she shows it for now. God bless you in your journey.
A.

That is so sad to me that you feel unloved by your daughter. Off course she loves you...she must just not like being held. I say as long as she's a happy kid don't worry about it, she'll find other ways to express her love as she gets older. I would take the other mom's advice and have her checked for Autism & sensory overload but I pray that they are wrong. God bless you.

Hi, K.. I hope all the responses you've received regarding Autism, PDD and Developmental Disabilities hasn't scared you too much. I do have an 8 year old daughter with PDD, Sensory Integration Dysfunction and ADHD. However, most of these weren't diagnosed until she was about 4 or 5 years old. Her Pediatric Neurologist said that she didn't like to even test kids younger than 4 because there are so many other things that could be going on that are not related to a developmental disability. She could just be a really sensory child and outside stimulus irritates her.

After speaking to your pediatrician, here's something you might want to try...infant massage. It is a way for her to get used to that stimulus in a pleasant way. A certified instructor can walk you through the steps, give you a book and explain all of the wonderful benefits. My two girls are now 4 and 8 and they still ask for a massage once in awhile. If you're looking for an instructor in Dallas a really good one is Tammy Shirley. I think you can find her listed on the Dallas Child website under resources.

Hi K., I do not know what you are going through, but I just wanted to give you a ((((((((hug)))))))))). I have a two year old girl too. I hope that you find an answer!!

Good luck and God Bless!

K.,

I had a similar experience with my son, does your daughter make eye contact with you regularly when you talk to her? Do you notice any strange behavior such as flapping her hands? making strange hand motions? lining up her toys in a particular way? delayed speech?

If so, definitely speak to your pediatritian and contact your local ECI program. My son displayed all of these and was diagnosed with autism... not to scare you, just be aware! That is how so many children with disabilities are looked over!

If not, I would ask the pediatritian about skin sensitivities.

Good Luck!!

First, I would say bring this up to your pediatrician, I say this because I believe there are therapies that can help. For instance Sensory Integration Therapy can help if there is a physical reason she isn't wanting to be cuddled (I have read where older kids have said it hurts). There are other symptoms for lack of sensory integration, if you are interested I can hunt up my book and let you know, just email me or call me ###-###-####. There are things you can do at home, too. Like rubbing her with a rough towel after her bath, swinging on a swing, walking on a balance beam (board), rolling her up like a sausage in a blanket(head out of course). See what she likes.

Second, don't think she doesn't love you, SHE DOES, she just can't show it the way you want her to (if cuddling hurts to her, she wouldn't do it to you because she loves you). Some of these kids like firm hugs instead.

You are loved. You are doing a great job with your daughter. Keep it up and feel free to ask for help.

Have you talked to her pedi.? I have someone in my family who went through something similar to this, & it turned out her son had some sort of sensory problem. I'm not exactly sure what it was called, but he just became "over-loaded" by touch & the way things felt on his skin.

I have a cousin with some kind of "touch sensitivity." Apparently it's sensory overload to be touched. Since she reacted this way at such a young age, I would investigate with the pediatrician. It's also a symptom of an autism spectrum disorder, called PDD (Pervasive Development Disorder). There are highly functional kids with PDD (so much so that youwouldn't even know they have it). If that is the case, the earlier she gets tested, the earlier you can start giving her the right intervention.

My oldest daughter was very similar until around 2 1/2. It was really frustrating and heartbreaking to have a child who didn't want my affection. I was told by my pediatrition (and I dont believe it entirely) is that a child who requires a lot of affection is lacking something. If the child doesn't long to be hugged and kissed it is because the child is truly happy and confident with themselves and I should be very proud! My oldest now gives hugs and kisses all the time but mainly as a manipulation tool. LOL. My youngest daughter is the exact opposite and loves to cuddle and give hugs and kisses. I would hate to believe that she is so darn affectionate because she is lacking something, that would just break my heart. My oldest has always been fiercly independent and I'm wondering if yours is the same way?

K.
If you have not already done so, please talk with your child's doctor and have her evaluated for Autism. This is not to scare you, but to just share some possible suggestions.

C.

Dear K.,
Have you talked to your pediatrician about this? You might want to talk to your local ECI program and see if this is something they can help you with. You can call 800-628-5115 to get your local contact information.

Please keep us informed about what happens.

J. - Denton, TX

I agree with Caryn, just to be on the safe side.

My daughter is the same way. She was born at 24 wks and is now 3 '/2. She has sensory issues that we have worked on in therapy thorough ECI and now are going to Cooks for private therapy. We are also going to the child study center of FTW to get evaluated for atusim and such as well. Its best to get evaled and be able to treat it properly. I was warned by the docs that preemies somtimes shy away from touch b/c you werent able to hold them enough at birth (only 30min a day if it was a good day). I felt at times the same way you do about her not wainting any intrest in me but now realize that she just needs her space and comes to me on her terms and if I dont press the issue she does have more to do w/ me. Well good luck and I know where your comming from!

K.,
I hate to ask this, but is she verbal? Have you had her evaluated for autism or any other pervasive developmental disorder? Does she bond with anyone else? The behaviors you described sound autistic, but it is hard to get a full picture from what you have written. I am only asking these things because I work with children with autism and these have been common behaviors for them at this age.
T.

I felt the same way with my daughter. Until she turned 1. things started to change. She has become very loving since then.

Patience is my only adice. SHe will come around.

M.

I had this same experience with my 1st son, turns out (he is 5 now) he had REflux firstly that was what the back arching was all about but also we now know he has Sensory integration disorder and that is why he never wanted to be held or cuddled except on his terms... I dont know how old your daughter is now but you might want to contact ECI for some occupational therapy to help you with this.

HTH
A. J