Feeding Trouble, Is My Baby Don't Love Me Anymore ?

Updated on August 08, 2012
D.P. asks from Plano, TX
11 answers

my baby girl had feeding problem from the start. unfortunately i didn't have any milk, so my she had to eat formula. we had some difficulty feeding her in the beginning. she is sensitive to milk and to soy, and it took us a while to find a formula that she can eat.
when my baby girl turn 4 mount old, the dr told us that it's time to start introduce her to solid, and that we need to start with rice cereal. so we did, and it look like she liking it. but after a day or two she start going down in the amount of the formula she is eating. from about 5 to 6 oz every feeding, now she is taking 2-3 oz. because my baby is already on the skinny side, and we know that she is getting her nutrition from the formula, and not from the cereal. we decided to stop with the solid for now. we know that it's more important for her to eat the formula then the cereal. now, i assumed that it will take couple of days until she will eat like she did before, and i was okay with that.
the next day when i have put her in the daycare, i ask them he pay attention to how much she is eating, because we had some problem on the weekend. when i picked her up from the daycare, they told me that both times she had finish her bottle, 6 oz each time. i was so happy, my baby girl is eating good again! that night when i had try to feed her, she only eat 3-4 oz each time. and then in the next morning she only eat 4 oz, she been eating a minimum off 6 oz every morning for the last month.
i'm starting to feel like she don't want to eat when i'm feeding her, and that she only eating the minimum that she need. i'm starting to feel like she don't love me. i'm going crazy, i don't know what to do. please help me!! what can i do to make me baby to eat when i'm feeding her? what can i do to make her love me again?

PLEASE help me, i'm desperate

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So What Happened?

i appreciate all of you taking the time to answer me, i understand everything you are saying.
i know that if she is not eating that mean that she is not hungry. but i don't understand how come she is hungry when she is at the daycare, and she is eating 6 oz. but when she is with me she is not hungry. how come she is only eating 4 oz after 9 hours of sleep, specially when she used to eat 6 oz for the last month. she must be hungry after 9 hours for more then 4 oz?
that is what making me believe she don't want to eat when i'm feeding her. that is what making me believe that i'm doing something wrong or that maybe she just don't love me. and i don't understand why?

More Answers

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Stop projecting your guilt!!! You have nothing to feel guilty for! Your baby loves you, she just isn't hungry!

I gave birth to four piglets!! They would eat their weight in food if given the chance! They do not love me any more than your daughter loves you, they just eat more.

7 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

YOUR BABY LOVES YOU.

Babies are hard. They go through many changes. Every week, they change and do things differently. THAT DOES NOT MEAN SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU.

Just keep giving your baby girl lots of love, and take her to the doctor if you are worried that she is not getting enough to eat.

DON'T WORRY, YOUR BABY LOVES YOU.

5 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

just because you couldn't breast feed does NOT mean you are a failure.

She is eating less formula because the cereal is filling her up.

Please talk to your doctor about your feelings as well. With the difficulties you have had with your daughter, you might be having some postpartum depression...this MIGHT be why you are feeling like your daughter doesn't love you. SHE DOES!!!

5 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Cereal fills her up. Formula should be her primary source of food til she is 1 yr old. I don't know why he told you to feed her cereal and I think you are smart to back off the solids right now. Many now recommend that babies not try solids til 6 mo. or older. When you go back to solids, I would give her the bottle FIRST and the solid food second. Make sure she gets her formula.

Don't overthink her behavior. Eating or not eating is not about loving you. Just keep track of what she eats in 24 hours and decide from there if there's a problem or not. Your daycare should give you a sheet of all her diapers, naps and feeds so you know what happened when she was not in your care.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.O.

answers from New York on

She loves you!!!

Babies have weeks when they are growing fast (growth spurt), and then they have weeks when they are not growing much at all. When they are not growing, they do not eat as much. That's all! Eating (or not) is not a sign of love.

4 moms found this helpful

D.L.

answers from Dallas on

You are being WAY too hard on yourself. Your concern tells me you are a GREAT Mommy! I can relate to how you are feeling because I felt many of those self doubt questions with my first child. It's perfectly normal for you to feel this way. While not everyone feels it, it isn't out of the ordinary.

Just know that your baby is just learning trust and can't even yet define the meaning of love.....although she no doubt, feels it. Don't get so obsessed with the amount she eats that you forget to see the other cues she gives you. Can you calm her down when she's upset? Does she smile at you? Is she content in your arms? The older she gets, the more you will see these and other love cues. There are so many other things she probably does that indicates love, trust, comfort. Just don't overlook those and try not to focus so much on eating.

My 23 month old doesn't want to eat right when she gets up either. It takes her about 20-30 minutes to really wake up, play with a few stuffed animals etc. before she's ready to eat. And even then she eats like a bird until morning snack. Then she eats a lot.

Give yourself a big hug and your baby a hug. It will all work out as time goes on.

I wanted to add that all these other comments asking if you are serious and saying that your feelings are ridiculous. Please don't take that to heart. I want to say that your true feelings are NOT silly and ridiculous. It just means you have some learning and maturing to do of your own.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.N.

answers from Lubbock on

Your baby will eat when she is hungry. It doesn't have anything to do with love. As she grows and learns that she can count on you to take care of her and keep her happy and healthy, she will become more secure and she will be able to show you how much she loves you.
I worry when people associate food or other material things with love. I see parents or grandparent that show their love through junk food or trinkets. You are equating love with total food consumption. If this keeps up, your daughter will learn to ignore her own feelings of fullness to see you happy, to see your face light up, and to see you stop worrying. This can lead to weight problems as an older child or adult.
Show your love other ways. Make sure that there is good healthy food available to her, take her to the doctor or dentist regularly and when she is sick, read to her, and take the time to play with her. That it love and she will learn to cherish that.

3 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Charlotte on

D., the best thing you can do is talk to your ped about what is happening. It could be that she is not feeling well.. The ped can help determine that. If you keep a food diary that details what time and how much formula she drank, that would help. Also write down wet and dirty diapers.

Please stop bringing "maybe my baby doesn't love me anymore" into the conversation. With YOURSELF or with anyone else. First, that's ridiculous. She's 4 months old. Have you ever heard that a 4 month old doesn't love her mother? Babies are just little bundles of life and they eat, sleep, poop, pee, giggle once they get old enough, look into their mom's faces, and need to cuddled, talked to, sung to, and loved on. That is THEIR particular brand of love. If they don't sleep well, if they don't eat well, if they cry, if are off their feed, it has nothing to do with love. So put that silly notion away.

Reading about baby development would help you be more informed and understand what babies are and aren't capable of. Please do that.

Good luck with the baby's formula,
Dawn

2 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

Are you serious, I'm really wondering if this question is for real? You really think a 4 month old baby doesn't love you anymore because of a slight feeding issue? It's common for babies to go through little spurts. If she ate a full bottle at daycare, then she likely wasn't that hungry at night. Also, there is a chance the daycare is telling you she is finishing her bottles when she really isn't.

Babies go through growth spurts when they eat more, then they go through times when they eat less. Don't worry about it, so long as she is growing and is healthy, she is getting what she needs. Also, I agree with you for holding off on the cereal for now so she gets her main nutrition from the formula. Be sure she gets lots and lots of cuddles from you in the meantime.

An excellent read on baby development, sleeping, feeding and other child issues from an expert can be found here:
http://askdrsears.com/topics/parenting

2 moms found this helpful

J.A.

answers from Indianapolis on

I don't understand the "love" part of your post. Do YOU always eat the same amount 24/7/365? No. If she is gaining weight and growing then she is fine.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Shreveport on

I would be a little leery of taking the daycare at it word. Do they have proof that she is eating the amount they are saying. Not saying they aren't feeding her but just be aware that sometimes they stretch the truth so it looks like you are getting the care you expect/pay for. So if there is a way to double check I would if I were you.
Also I agree that you might want to talk to your doctor about how you are feeling over this.
The cereal will cause her to eat less formula because it will fill her up more. Also babies will go through stages of eating less or eating more. It has nothing to do with you or what you are feeding her. I wouldn't be surprised to see you post in a month or two about how much she is woofing down in each feeding.

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